A Love Hina Fanfic
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Ken Akamatsu
The sun was about to rise on the Hinata apartments when Kaolla Su finally collapsed from exhaustion. She had been modifying one her inventions all night and finally fell asleep right on top of the pile of unfinished metal parts. The pieces suggested a giant, mechanized turtle in a state of near complete disassembly. Although most of her devices were far too dangerous for any reasonable civilian use, Su loved them all, even when they nearly destroyed her home or threatened her life. One of them was at the moment looking at the slumped over, snoring school-girl from the inside of a nearby test tube. He had been created ages ago by Su, but for too long had been relegated to the back of a shelf in the closet, forgotten; a victim of Su’s catastrophically short attention span. On this evening however he found himself back in the light. Su had needed a tool from the back of the closet, and had to remove a lot of older items. She planned to put everything back when she was done but sleep now got the better of her and the organism that Su had long ago christened “Hango” looked out with a single thought on what passed for its mind:
MUST GET OUT MUST GET OUT MUST GET OUT MUST GET OUT …
The sun rose, but Kaolla remained in a slumber. The door cracked open and the young Shinobu Maehara poked her head in.
“Kaolla ? Ka-ooooo-llaaaa?” Shinobu called, in her sweet, shy little voice, “You’d better wake up soon or we’re going to be late for school! Oh Kaolla ! You really ought to put your things away!” As Shinobu entered Kaolla's room her elbow bumped into a rack of test tubes, knocking them to the floor, and shattering them.
“Oh no!” She cried. “Kaolla , I’ll clean this up! But you’ve got to get going.”
“Hmmmhrrmmhmmm…” was Su’s only reply. Shinobu swept up as much of the glass as she could.
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE....
NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST...
Nearly weightless, it drifted upward toward the unsuspecting Shinobu. She inhaled just as she finished sweeping up and, for Hango, everything suddenly became nice and dark and moist.
---------------------
It was Shinobu’s job to cook breakfast for everyone. In exchange for cooking meals, she was allowed to stay at Hinata rent free. While she felt 100% when she woke up, by the time she got to the kitchen she was sure she would not be going to school today. Her energy was gone, she was getting chills, and her nose had gotten all stuffed up.
“Shinobu-chan? Are you OK?” It was their apartment manager, Keitaro Urashima. He was a third year ronin, having failed his college entrance exams three times now. Although he was not so good at school, he had a really good heart and Shinobu was quite smitten with him, although she did realize that his heart was already promised to another.
“Senpai?” Shinobu whispered, almost half asleep.
“Um… It’s OK Shinobu-chan… but… you’re ah… burning the fish…”
“Oh my!” Shinobu snapped awake. “I’m so sorry! I’ll make some more!”
“Really, it’s OK Shinobu-chan! We can survive having to cook our own breakfast for one day! You really don’t sound too good... you should get some rest.”
Keitaro’s words were very comforting to her and she was very tired. She agreed to let Keitaro handle the cooking this morning and really thought she’d better stay home from school as well.
“Thank you, Senpai.” Shinobu felt a tickle in her tiny nose. “I think I will. I think I’ll stay… ho-home… from… sch… school… as… we… we… we…” Her breath hitched as her eyes narrowed and her nose and cheeks scrunched up… “hetchoo!” Her sneeze was high pitched and rather cute sounding. She turned, to avoid sneezing into the food and instead found herself bending over into Keitaro, who had been standing right behind her, coming over to offer a hand.
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE....
“Oh! I’m so sorry Senpai!” In her embarrassment she did not even realize that’s Keitaro’s outstretched hands were now placed directly on her small breasts.
NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST...
As embarrassed as she was, it was nothing compared to what the much older Keitaro was now feeling. He could hardly keep from shouting. “IT’S OK SHINOBU-CHAN! Go ahead and rest. I’ll get breakfast finished.” Shinobu hadn’t noticed, and as thankful as Keitaro was for that, he was ten times as grateful that Naru wasn’t around to see it. She always seemed to misunderstand, and he always ended up getting clobbered.
Shinobu made her way back to bed but by the time she reached her room she felt 100% again. She decided to go school after all. Since she was now running late, she decided to skip breakfast and head right out. She still hadn’t seen Kaolla but hoped that she would still be able make it to school on time.
---------------------
Keitaro cooked up breakfast as best as he could. He set the table for everyone else, but suddenly didn’t feel so good himself.
“Brrrrrrr… So… cold…” He was now shivering, just as Shinobu had been. He left, muttering a ‘good morning’ to Naru and her best friend Kitsune as they came in for breakfast. As he drug his feet down the hall, they called out to him saying that Motoko was up on the roof and to let her know that breakfast was ready.
“Ugh…” He did not feel like going all the way up to the roof right now. He had gone from chills to a fever, and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. He grumbled to himself about how the girls always pushed him around and stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the roof. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as he felt a sneeze coming on.
“Uh… Aaaaaah – TXCHOOO!” He bent over, sneezing loudly and wetly.
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE....
At that moment, for Keitaro everything was dark… “Huh? What happened?”
NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST...
Standing in front of Keitaro was Motoko Aoyama, a high school kendo champion and secret sword master. She was dressed in her training Gi and had been up since before dawn practicing and refining her technique. He did not see her come down the stairs because his eyes were closed, and he could not see her now because his face was firmly planted between her breasts, having been doubled over by the powerful sneeze. He slowly stood back up, and gazed eye to eye with what he thought had to be raw fury, incarnate…
“AHH! MOTOKO! I…” Keitaro turned white with fear.
“URASHIMA!!!” Motoko’s sword was out in a flash. Suddenly feeling a lot better, Keitaro fled as quickly as he could, screaming his apology as he ran for his life. There was however only one way that Motoko would feel any better…
“SECRET TECHNIQUE AIR-SPLITTING SWORD!” She harnessed her chi and sent waves of energy through her blade and down the hallway, striking Keitaro as he ran. The unfortunate lad somersaulted three times in the air and landed at the opposite end of the hallway, in an unconscious heap.
Honor having been satisfied, Motoko started down stairs. No doubt the pervert was coming to tell her breakfast was ready, she thought to herself.
---------------------
By the time she got downstairs, she felt drained. She didn’t think her workout that morning had been any harder than usual, so she had no idea why she felt so wiped out. Also, the morning air was quite warm so she couldn’t explain the sudden chill she was feeling either.
“You don’t look so good, honey!” It was Kitsune, who sounded concerned, in her Kansai [southern] accent.
“I’ll be fine.” Motoko answered curtly, though her voice sounded stuffy.
“You work so hard every morning, it’s no wonder you caught a cold!” Kitsune was starting to get on her nerves. Considering the fact that she was drinking Sake with breakfast, Motoko, who worked out for an hour every morning, was not about to take any health advice from the party-girl, Kitsune.
“I said I’m fine. *sniff*” Motoko’s voice now sounded as stuffy as it did annoyed.
“What was that?” Kitsune asked, in that same bubbly Kansai [southern] drawl.
“*sniiiiiiffff* I said… I’m… f…f…f…” It was taking all of Motoko nearly inhuman discipline to hold back the sneeze. Her eyes were nearly closed, and her breath came in short, sharp inhales. She really didn’t want to hear it from Kitsune right now.
“Huh? Didn’t quite catch that?” Kitsune was moving closer to Motoko…
“Fi… f… uh… I… s-said… I’m… f..f...f..” Her nose itched like mad, but she swore she wouldn’t give in.
“Whaaat?” Kitsune asked, a little too sweetly. Her face was now only inches from Motoko’s. A sly smile spread across her face.
Motoko firmly closed her eyes, and focused all her energy on stifling the sneeze.
“Hmm-ptcht! I SAID I’M FINE!” Motoko scarfed her fish in one bite and ran out of the kitchen, not wanting to take any grief from Kitsune. She was right however: Motoko felt terrible. Her chill was now morphing into a fever. She was about to open the front of her Gi a little to cool off when she stopped and noticed Keitaro coming from the other end of the hall.
“URASHIMA!” She screamed in manner which terrified Keitaro, momentarily freezing him in place. She had him lifted up and pinned to the wall in under a second. “Were you sick this morning?!”
“Huh? … Uh… well… Uh… you see… Ha-ha…Ummm…” She knew she’d overdone it. Keitaro was now so frightened he had no idea what to say. She shook him a little and asked him again.
“SICK! Were you sick this morn… aah… *sniff* MORNING!” Her eyes looked like they could turn Keitaro to stone right on the spot.
“Well… I did feel a little under the weather this morning but…” Her grip tightened and she raised him a few inches higher. He shut his eyes, fearing the worst, and screamed desperately, “I FEEL FINE NOW SO I DON’T THINK IT WAS ANYTHING SERIOUS! I PROMISE!” When he opened his eyes and looked down, besides being able to see right down the front of her Gi, he noticed she wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore. Her eyes were closed, her mouth was open, her nose seemed to be twitching, and her breath was coming is slow, sharp hitches.
“Mo…”
“Aaaah…”
“…to…”
“AAAAAH…”
“…ko?”
“HAAAAAH-TCHOOO!”
FREE FREE FREE…
The force of her sneeze knocked the sliding door she was holding Keitaro against right off its track. Keitaro lay sprawled out on the ground. His face was covered with something… sticky.
NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW…
“Oh! Urashima! I’m so sorry! I…” Keitaro couldn’t decide if she sounded apologetic, embarrassed, or both.
“don’t worry about it…” Keitaro managed meekly from his pile of rubble on the floor.
Motoko, suddenly feeling fine again, left quickly to change and get to school. She refused to let Keitaro see her blush, and she was incredibly embarrassed about what had just happened, even if she had thought he’d given her his cold.
---------------------
Although a thrashing from Motoko was enough to put even veteran samurai out of commission, Keitaro was almost getting used to this kind of treatment. All the same, he felt simply awful again. “Maybe I am getting sick.” He thought to himself. He went to get some tea from the kitchen, and then planned on getting some rest.
Keitaro dragged his feet down the hall, slumped over a feverish feeling. “Uh… Aaaaaah – TXCHOOO! Ugh…” Another wet sneeze shook him, just as he passed Naru’s room.
FREE FREE FREE…
GET BACK IN GET BACK IN GET BACK IN…
“Bless you!” It was Naru, calling from inside her room. Thanks to his encounter with Motoko earlier, Keitaro missed her at breakfast. Come to think of it… he hadn’t even eaten breakfast himself yet. He went back downstairs, thinking a bite might him feel a little better.
Just outside of the kitchen he bumped into his older cousin, “Auntie” Haruka.
“Morning Auntie…” Haruka stepped on his foot, while pinning his arm behind his back. “MORNING HARUKA!”
“Good morning. Keitaro.” She said politely, releasing him. “You sound terrible.”
“Yeah… Someone gave me… their… co… co… Ha-AAAHH…”
*@$* - BONG - *%&* ! (...choo)
Keitaro’s face slammed right into the Iron Skillet Haruka held up in her defense.
“Don’t get me sick.” She said nonchalantly, and walked away. Keitaro crawled the rest of the way into the kitchen.
“sure… no… problem… *ow*…”
After getting some tea, Keitaro limped back upstairs to get some rest, again pausing in front of Naru’s room as his breath hitched.
“Hah… heh… aahh… Aaaaaah – TXCHOOO! Ugh…”
FREE FREE FREE…
GET BACK IN GET BACK IN…
“Bless you again!” Naru calle dform inside her room. “Hey listen, you’d better get some rest. I don’t think I can study with today.” She started to open the door. “We’ve got the big practice test tomorrow, so I can’t afford to get…”
“Aaaaaah – TXCHOOO!” Another sneeze shook Keitaro, just as Naru leaned out of the door.
“…sick.”
FREE FREE FREE… NEW HOST NEW HOST…
Her faced was drenched by the spray. Keitaro could hear what he thought was the sound of a tea kettle boiling over and looked up just in time to see Naru’s fist growing large enough to fill his entire field of vision. Her aim was true, even though her glasses were obscured by think, runny fluid. The force of the blow sent Keitaro down the hall, through the 2nd floor window, down the stairs on the front hill, across the bridge leading to the town, and several blocks into the market district. Despite that show of superhuman strength, a chill hit her almost immediately. She knew she was going to get sick. “Stupid Keitaro!” She thought to herself disgustedly.
About two miles away, Keitaro decided to rest in the dumpster he’d landed in for a little while before heading back to Hinata Apartments. Although, aside from the rough landing, he felt like new again, he reeeeaaaalllly didn’t want to face Naru again anytime soon.
---------------------
With no energy left to study with, Naru grabbed a box of tissues, a cup of tea and her thick comforter as she curled up in bed, snuggling against her Lido-Kun doll. She put her hand to her forehead, and was so warm that she didn’t even bother with the thermometer.
“Heh-shoo!” She sneezed, not for the first time.
FREE FREE FREE… GET BACK IN GET BACK IN…
“Stupid Keitaro!” She thought, also not for the first time.
She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this miserable. Although the test loomed, she couldn’t drag herself out of bed even to study and, after going through a quarter box of tissues, settled down and slept for several hours.
Meanwhile Kitsune was scrounging around in the pantry for something to snack on. She certainly didn’t plan on cooking anything, and was disappointed to find that all of her junk food and most of her Sake was gone. “Aw shoot! Where is everybody? I’m starving!”
She knew that Shinobu and Motoko had gone to school, and assumed Su did as well. But she’d seen neither hide nor hair of either Keitaro or Naru for hours, and it had been too long to assume they’ve been studying this whole time. She made her way upstairs.
“Keitaaaarooo? Naaaa-ruuuu?” She called out, but got no answer. She knocked on Naru’s door and, being her best friend, thought it would be OK to open it a crack just to check, even though there was no answer.
“Naru?” She asked quietly, before poking her head in.
Naru was asleep in her bed, cuddled against her Lido-kun with the comforter gathered up around her. Although she looked adorable, from the wads of tissues lying around the floor, Kitsune could tell that Naru was very sick. “Aww, you poor thing!” She knelt by the futon, gently put Naru’s head on her lap and lightly stroked her friend’s long hair.
“hhhmmmmm…” Naru moaned. “stupid… keitaro…” she muttered, still half-asleep. “Kit… Kitsune?” She asked weakly.
“Aww… You poor thing! You look simply awful!”
“I feel terrible.” She answered, adding “stupid keitaro” under her breath.
“So you we’re dreaming about Keitaro then! I thought so…”
“Come on Kitsune *cough, cough*, I’m not in the mood.”
“Well I can see that sweetie! Now you just lay your head here and let your dear friend comfort you…”
“Wait… *sniff* have to… sn-snee... eeze…”
“Oh you just cover up. I’m not too worried. As much as I drink I don’t think any little bug can survive in my blood!”
“Heh-shoo!”
NEW HOST NEW HOST NEW HOST…
“Thanks Kitsune. I feel better already.”
“Oh man… Now I’m not feeling too good!” Continuing the role reversal and acting more like Kitsune typically does, Naru immediately jumped up and pushed her friend out of her room.
“Sorry, Kitsune! Can’t afford to get sick! Test tomorrow! Go get some rest!” Naru called from behind the door.
“Well I nev… nev… EeeehYA-Tchooo! NEVER!” Kitsune said to herself as she sulked away.
GET BACK IN GET BACK IN…
As this was Friday, Kitsune had no plans on getting any rest. Not when there was drinking and partying to be done. As she slumped down on the couch however, almost completely out of breath, and feeling like Keitaro probably does shortly after walking in on Naru in her underpants, she decided that scaling back her Friday night activities might be in order.
“Oh poo! And I’ve been looking forward to this since yesterday!” Truth be told, Friday night was really no different from any other night for the boisterous party girl, but she still felt cheated. “That Naru! That Keitaro! When I see them again I’m going to give them a piece… of… my… m-m-m… EeeehYA-Tchooo! MIND!”
---------------------
Kitsune dozed off, but came to just as Keitaro, Shinobu and Motoko made their way through the front door, accompanied by Naru and Keitaro’s eccentric friend from cram school, Mutsumi Otohime. About this time Naru was also making her way downstairs. She still didn’t want to risk catching anything, but she felt awful about how she’d treated Kitsune, especially after her friend had comforted her.
“I’m sorry Kitsune I was…”
“Yes you were! I can’t be… lieve… EeeehYA-Tchooo! Oh… Sorry bout that Naru!”
“Kitsune! I didn’t want to get… s-sick… a…gain…Heh-shoo!”
Across the room, Keitaro felt a familiar chill, just as he was saying, “I’m sorry Narusegawa! I didn’t m-mean t-to… give… you… my… Aaaaaah – TXCHOOO!” He turned to his right, forgetting that Mutsumi was there…
“Oh my!” Mutsumi said innocently. “Have you been doing this all day then? OK! I’ll join in… Ha-CHOO!”
And so it went, each member of the group getting sick and then feeling better right after a hearty sneeze. By the third time around they weren’t even bothering to cover up anymore. Haruka watched, from a safe distance, just shaking her head. After a several more rounds of “pass the sneeze” a sleepy looking Kaolla Su finally made her was down the main staircase. Upon seeing the action she immediately perked up.
“Hello everyone!” Su called out, in her pseudo-Indian accent. “Have seen my Hango? He seems to have escaped!” She sounded as upbeat as always, although this did little to comfort the residents.
“Han… go…? Etchoo!” Shinobu sneezed, sending “Hango” in Motoko’s direction.
“He is a pet virus that I invented a long time ago! He can’t reproduce, but he can go from person to person though the air! If no one is around he will always go back to the previous host! Isn’t that amazing?!”
*SNIIIIIFFFF* Motoko wiped her nose on her sleeve and slowly approached Su, looking furious. She expected to have to chase her and had almost no energy at the moment. To her surprise, Su just stood there smiling.
“Can I have him back now?!” Su asked, seeming enthusiastic.
Motoko was stunned for a moment, and then obliged. “HAAAAAH-TCHOOO!”
---------------------
Although they were exhausted, each having been sick several times that day, the residents of Hinata Apartments found no sleep that night, as the sound of Su’s snoring echoed through the halls.
Su, on the other hand, slept quite soundly, snoring loudly with her nose thoroughly plugged up.
“han… go…” She mumbled quietly in her sleep. “bad… boy… missed… you…” She slept with a contented smile on her face, as fluid ran freely over her upper lip.
(cue happy-ending music)
________________________________________________________________________________
TO BE CONTINUED: Part Two - Misery and Company: School, Train, Dojo
No comments:
Post a Comment