Ah! I'm Going to Sneeze! (Ah! My Goddess!)

an Ah! My Goddess! fanfiction (part 1 of 3)
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Kosuke Fujishima
Part 1 of 3

Her name is Sora Hasegawa. During the few times in her life that she's had the courage to engage in self-reflection, she's realized that she is unhappy. She is unhappy with herself – her appearance, her awkwardness, her complete lack of universally accepted personality traits. But mostly with her inability to break out of the timid mindset she has built up within herself over so many years. It is for this reason that, while she is so profoundly sad on the inside and despite the outwardly cheerful and caring appearance she displays, that fate cannot intervene – she has chosen this misery for herself. While she may blame the lack of a meaningful relationship in her life on her underdeveloped physique, her "little-girl's" face or her overall mousy demeanor, it is her lack of confidence and her own self-perception that makes it so easy to simply shut herself out. In the end she is alone in the world because she chooses to be so. While fate cannot act directly to change this, the fate of one person affects that of another, and the good fortune that shines on her friend, Keiichi Morisato will also cast a light on her…

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It was the first day of the new semester and Nekomi Tech's auto club managed to recruit only two new members from the incoming freshman class. Even though this result was actually better than the previous semester, when no new members signed on, and while most of this semester's potential recruits were actually scared away by the antics of Tamiya and Aoyama, the two senior members of the auto club, Hasegawa was put in charge of this year's membership drive, and while she accepted the job reluctantly, she felt deeply responsible for what she deemed to be a failure. Making her feel even worse about herself was the fact that when the two new members showed up for their first club meeting, she was too intimidated to even talk to them.

One of them, Asako Watanabe, could have been a model. She had a strikingly beautiful face, raven black hair and a sexy figure – she was so beautiful that Sora wondered why Asako even joined the auto-club. Prior to this year, the club's only full-time female member was Sora herself. While Sora was slightly bothered by the fact that she went unnoticed by every single one of the men in the auto-club, she had to admit that she felt rather comfortable in the company of this rowdy, yet overall rather friendly and accepting group. Compared to the bomb-shell who was now flirting with most of the club members, she felt as though she looked like she could be in middle school. While this was not a feeling she liked, it was one she had grown accustomed to, her measurements were what they were after-all, and did approximate those of a much younger girl. The situation however shortly devolved into a full-fledged train-wreck when the other new member arrived. To Sora's eyes – he was an absolute dream. As she looked at him (stared is more accurate) she was so sure that he'd join the other guys in flirting with Asako that she didn't even notice that the opposite was true: He was coming over to talk to her!

"Hi! My name is Yuichi Asakawa. It's a pleasure to meet you. "

It took a few seconds for Sora to even realize he was speaking to her. "Um… Hi! Uh… I'm Hasegawa. It's… um… nice… to…. Um… yeah." Looking into his face she could barely speak. Stammering away and no doubt blushing profusely, almost every bit of her was desperately searching for some small hole to crawl into and hide. But she was frozen in place but another thought: This gorgeous guy came over to talk to me!

"So… You're one of the senior members then?" Asakawa asked.

"I'm not in middle…!" She began. She was so used to people underestimating her age by several years that it took a moment for her to absorb what he said. Now her typical frustration at being treated like a kid was replaced by the thought that he was being sarcastic. "Are you making fun of me?"

While she half expected him to laugh or make some other snide comment, the confused look on his face showed her how far off the mark she had been. Now he was the one who looked embarrassed. Bowing, and speaking very loudly and sincerely he said, "I'm so sorry Hasegawa-san! I didn't mean to offend you! Please don't think I'm saying you look too old! I'm so sorry!" He remained bowed quite low. Sora, not having been in this situation before had no idea how to feel, or how to respond.

"It's OK, really! I'm sorry too! I – I must had misunderstood you! It's OK, really! I'm a sophomore!"

Yuichi looked somewhat relieved. "Well then… I look forward to seeing you around. I've got to get to class, but… will you be in the club room later? Around four maybe?"

"Um… yeah. Why?"

"I'd… well… I'd like to see you again… uh... I MEAN… I'd like to talk to you some more! You know… you can show me the ropes… tell me a little more about the club!" Was she actually making him nervous? Sora thought to herself.

"Yeah. Four O'clock. I'll see you then."

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Sora was in the clouds most of the morning. No boy had ever sought her out like that. Not just to talk anyway. Usually they wanted to copy her notes from class, or some such thing. And he was so cute! By lunch however she had come back down to earth. When she met her friends Keiichi and Belldandy for lunch, she really needed to talk to someone. She hoped that Keiichi and Belldandy would understand.

"What does he see in me? Why did he come over to me?" She asked them, almost rhetorically.

"Who? You mean Asakawa-san?" Keiichi asked. In truth Yuichi had actually asked Keiichi earlier if Hasegawa was seeing anyone, but he had asked that Keiichi not say anything to her, so he kept that fact to himself.

"I mean he seems really nice, and I like him and all…" Now she was blushing. She hadn't meant to say that quite so bluntly "NO! I mean… He's really cute and all…" She really didn't mean to say that! Now she wanted nothing more than to just disappear. But, as she expected, her friends understood how she felt and, as usual, Belldandy knew just what to say.

"It's all right Hasegawa-san. I'm sure that he feels the same way. You said that he even seemed to get nervous. I'm sure he feels the same way you do."

"But… I'm so…I mean… What does he see in me? I have the figure of an eighth grader! I have no sense of style! My hair… my face…" Belldandy thought that Sora sounded a lot like Keiichi did when they first met. Hasegawa was obviously distressed however and seemed on the verge of tears.

"So… these traits you speak of… These are not traits that you think he would find attractive?" Belldandy asked, with her usually innocence that bordered on naivety.

"Who would? Who could like someone with such a plain face, and freckles, and glasses, and such small... I'm just such a nerd! I just wish someone like him could find me attractive! "

"Well then… I call upon the spirits to grant you the traits that Asakawa-san finds most attractive."

Keiichi, who had been quiet up to this point almost choked on his drink. While the gravity of what Belldandy just said was lost on Sora, he knew full well what Belldandy was capable of. And while her intentions were always good, her narrow understating of the human world often led to her "help" going awry. He braced for Hasegawa's hair to turn platinum blonde, or her breasts to increase three cup sizes, or something equally dramatic to occur. He knew that Hasegawa would faint right there on the spot if anything like that happened. Surprisingly… nothing happened

Relieved he said, nervously laughing, "See Hasegawa: He must like you just the way you are!"

It was just the kind of thing Keiichi would say. All the same it still made her feel better that her friends were so supportive. "Ha-ha. Very funny." She was smiling now though.

"I'll see you guys later! I've got to get to class. And Keiichi, Belldandy? Thanks so much."

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Sora headed over to the Auto Club room at around 3:30. She felt a little silly, going so early, especially without any work to do, so she was surprised to see that Yuichi was already there. As they looked at each other, all they could do was laugh, knowing they both had come early.

"So I was thinking," Yuichi began, "There's this party later at Takeda-kun's apartment… he's a friend of mine from class… and… if you'd be interested, and, I'll understand if you'd rather not, but I thought you might want to go… with… me."

As shocked as she was that this cute guy was asking her out, she was also acutely aware of something else – he was wearing some kind of cologne, and it was tickling her nose. She was pretty sure he was wearing it that morning, but now it was bothering her nose something fierce.

"Yeah, I'd love too." At least that's what she wanted to say. What came out was "Yeah… I… Ahhh… Hup-*chew*!" Doubled over and mortally embarrassed by her girly, high pitched squeak of a sneeze, Sora remained in that position, hands firmly clamped over her mouth and nose, face burning red from blushing, eyes as big as dinner plates, even without being magnified by her glasses. She was very shy, and didn't like sneezing in front of other people, but it was rarely a concern as she almost never got sick, and had no allergies that she knew of. When she finally looked up, Yuichi was looking down at her with what looked light a slightly amused grin. "Bless you."

"I'm so sorry! Thank you. I… uh… Oh no! Hang on…Hup-*chew*!" Again came the mousy squeak. As she doubled over again, not sure why it was making her sneeze, she was mortified to look up to find a small dot of moisture on the front of his shirt. "OH. MY. GOD!" she thought to herself, "I just sneezed ON HIM!" Now she knew would just die, right there on the spot. When she looked up again he was still smiling, and holding out a tissue.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah... Thanks again. I'm so sor… sorr…" The tickle seemed to spread all over the inside of her face. She turned away and sneezed three more times, doubling over with each one. She took a step away from him and held her hand up signaling him not to come any closer. She felt almost out of breath at this point.

"Hey… When you pick me up tonight… Could you uh… NOT wear any of that cologne?"

At first he almost looked the slightest bit disappointed, but he agreed and perked right up. "So that means you want to go then? With me, I mean?" In her fit she'd forgotten that never actually given him an answer!

"Yes! Yes, I want to go! What time will you come by?"

"Eight O'clock… And yeah, I'll leave the cheap after-shave at home. Sorry it bothered you, Hasegawa-san"

"Oh it's OK. I'm kind of surprised myself. It does smell nice…" But as she took a step closer, the tickle flared up almost immediately. "Oh! I've gotta go!" She sneezed twice more as she ran from the room. She waited until she was at a safe distance – in other words: out of an earshot, to blow her rather runny nose.

Yuichi sighed. "She's so cute." he thought to himself.

________________________________________

At seven thirty there was a knock on the door. Not having been on many dates, Sora did not immediately realize the significance of his arriving almost half an hour early. As she was presently sitting on the toilet however, she was shrewdly aware that his timing overall was monumentally bad. "Be right there!" she called, uncharacteristically loudly for her.

When she opened the door she was struck by just how cool and casual he looked. A comfortable pair of jeans, hip tee-shirt and the same black jacket he had on earlier. Not very high on fashion herself, Sora appreciated the practicality of his apparel. The she noticed that he had brought flowers. Roses even!

"Wow! Are those for me?" She blurted out. "Sorry, I mean, 'Hello, come on in. Make yourself at home.'" She felt so happy. She couldn't stop smiling.

"Sorry I'm so early… I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time?"

If you had any idea, Sora thought to herself. "Not at all! Let me take those… And go put them is some water."

As Yuichi settled down on the couch in the den, Sora went into the kitchen to find a vase. Once she'd properly dealt with the roses, she suddenly felt the tickle in her nose return. 'What the heck?!' she thought. Then she bent over and tentatively took a sniff of the rose. This was a mistake. The burning tickle flared up inside her skull like she had sniffed wasabe.

"Hup-*chew* (squeak) ah… *chew* (squeak) … uh… ah… Hup-*chew* (squeak)." She felt so embarrassed.

"Are you all right?" Yuichi called from the other room.

"Yeah… ah… I'm… ah… I'm OK!" She said, vigorously rubbing her itchy nose with her finger. "What the heck is going on with me today?" she thought as she stepped away from the vase. She blew her nose as quietly as she could manage and, feeling better, went back to the den. "Do you want to head out then?"

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The party was not exactly what most people would call rocking, but the crowd was a bit bigger than Sora was used to. While she did feel just the slightest bit uncomfortable, everyone was very friendly, even the ones who wanted to know whose 'kid sister' she was. Tonight though she was on a date, and she felt like nothing could dampen her spirits. Then that itchy, tickly feeling in her nose came back.

She spent most of the first hour or so just talking to Yuichi. He introduced her to some of the other people he'd met in class. Some of them she had seen around campus before but, being as shy as she was, she'd never actually met any of them. But the entire time, through all of the introductions, and casual conversation with Yuichi about almost nothing at all, she couldn't shake the growing, sneezy feeling she had. At some point she realized that she was no longer even listening to Yuichi, or anyone else for that matter, and was spending almost all of her mental energy trying not to sneeze.

"Are you OK? You seem sort of… I don't know… Nervous, maybe? We don't have to stay if you're not having a good time." Yuichi seemed genuinely concerned but she could swear just the slightest bit amused as well. She shook her head to reassure him, as she rubbed her nose, which unbeknownst to her was turning pink.

"No… I'm having… a… great… ah… Oh! No, I'm f-fine. Real… Real… lee… ah… Hup-*squeak*." She knew, without any doubt, she would soon be sneezing a lot more.

"Bless you."

"Hup-*squeak*."

"And again!" As her eyes were closed, and she was bent over, Sora could not see the broad smile spreading across Yuichi's face.

"I don't… ah… I don't… hup-*chew*… know wha… aht-*chew* what's making me hat-*shoo* snee…ah… sneeze like this!"

Just then Takeda, who was hosting the party, came by. "Are you OK Hasagawa-san? You're not allergic to cats, are you? Neko-chan was bothering some of the others earlier… so I put him in the bedroom."

She could barely hear him, as she searched around in desperation. "Where's your bathroom, Takeda-kun?" she pleaded.

"Just down the hall," he pointed.

By the time she made her way through the crowd her nose was running so badly, she was almost surprised she didn't have it all over her shirt. Once inside she grabbed a wad of toilet paper to blow her nose. Do to it being so runny her blow came out a lot louder than she'd intended. Just then there was a knock at the door. It was Yuichi – showing his keen sense of timing once again.

"Are you feeling OK Hasegawa-chan? You uh… didn't sound so good just now."

'Oh my god, he heard that?!' Sora thought to herself, feeling incredibly self-conscious and un-ladylike. (Not that she usually cared about being ladylike but she was on a date, wasn't she?)

"So we can go… You know… If you want…" he offered.

Sora, feeling a little better, opened the door. "Don't be silly," she smiled, though her nose was now red and her eyes were starting to get just the slightest bit puffy. "I'm fine. I just need some fresh air."

The walk back through the apartment almost started to get her nose going once again when she reached the door to the balcony. Outside it was rather crowded. Takeda himself did not smoke, and as he didn't let people smoke in his apartment, right about now all of the guests who did smoke, which is to say about three quarters of them, were crammed onto the balcony not smoking so much as chain-smoking. While Sora considered it a rather nasty habit, and didn't smoke herself, it generally didn't bother her if other people did. However luck was not on her side tonight and she could not have picked a worse venue for getting some "fresh air."

The thick fog engulfing the balcony burned her eyes and set her sinuses on fire. The balcony was so crowded that no one even noticed her, bent over the railing, practically sneezing her head off. Someone bumped into her from behind. Every sneeze had her practically grinding into them. Whoever it was, she thought sarcastically to herself that she hoped they were enjoying the semi-lap dance they were getting. A hand landed gently on her shoulder. It was Yuichi.

"Hat-choo! Hat-choo! Oh Yuichi… Hat-choo! I'm so… Hat-choo! sorry! Hat-choo! I don't… Hat-choo! know what's… Hat-choo! wrong with me tonight! I re… really… Hat-choo! think I ne… ne... Hat-choo! need to get out of here!" She looked up, expecting to see disappointment, and was struck by how happy he looked.

"It's OK" He said, his sympathetic smile not dimming in the slightest. "We can go. Come on… I'll walk you home. Let me just grab a few tissues."

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'A few tissues' turned out to be another wad of toilet paper, but Sora was grateful nevertheless. Lacking any pretense at this point, she blew her nose loudly and heartily several times as they walked home in relative silence. By the time they reached her apartment, she did feel almost completely better.

"I'm sorry you didn't have such a good time tonight…" Yuichi started.

"No! I should apologize! I'm the one who ruined everything!" Sora interrupted, sounding almost on the verge of tears.

Yuichi laughed for almost a minute strait. "Are you kidding? I had a great time! Actually I…" He stopped abruptly, still smiling, but whatever else he was going to say he kept to himself. He looked directly into her eyes. His gaze was intense. Sora had never seen anyone look at her like that before. He put his hand to her cheek.

"What…" but she couldn't finish her question. He leaned forward and their lips met. Her eyes closed and, as if on auto-pilot, her hands found their way to his back. For a moment she could feel nothing else in the entire world except for the warmth that was filling up inside of her. Then she became aware of something else. Her eyes shot open.

"Wait…" she whispered.

"Why?" He asked.

"I have… to… snee… HAAAAT-SHOOO! (*squeak*)"



TO BE CONTINUED: Part Two - Ah! We Really Screwed Up!