An I My Me Strawberry Eggs fanficSetting and all non-original characters property of TNK & Ryoji Akiyma
This double life was killing Hibiki Amawa. He had originally agreed to taken the job, disguised as a woman, because he needed the rent money - his landlord was holding his dog, Kura-ge, as collateral and threatened to eat him if Hibiki didn’t pay up – and to prove to that battle-axe of a principal that a man could be every bit as caring and nurturing a teacher as a woman could be. It seemed like a good idea at the time and, in his anger and desperation, he plunged right into it without really thinking it through. Now he was in way too deep, and couldn’t get out if he’d wanted to; at least not without losing his job and probably getting arrested. He never truly understood what “living a lie” meant until now. The worst part was, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it – he couldn’t vent about it, or laugh about it, or share stories that some would undoubtedly find amusing, or impressive. The only one who knew was his landlord, Ruru Sanjo – the one who’d him gotten into all this. And anyway, “Oba-chan” would just tell him to “suck it up” or some such thing. He was completely alone, and that took its toll mentally.
Physically he was in no great shape either. To get ready for work as a woman required him to wake up almost two hours earlier than he was accustomed to and, since he’d started out a month behind on rent, he had almost none of his salary left for food. So, starving and exhausted, here he was making a late night ramen-noodle run, dragging his feet through the convenience store. There was only one other person in the store at this hour. As he turned the corner from one aisle to the other, he found himself face to face with Reiko Mukogawa, the Vice-Principal from his school and his direct supervisor. She was a hard-nosed employer that rode Hibiki mercilessly and yet he had no choice but to play along, being as nice and respectful as possible.
“Oh! Vice-Pri…” He cut himself off, realizing she wouldn't recognize him. He was not in disguise at the moment.
“Do I know you?” Mukogawa asked, in an annoyed tone.
“Oh… No! Sorry…you…uh… looked like someone I know! A-ahahahaha!”
“Are they a vice principal too?” she followed up, suspiciously.
“Uh… yeah… hahaha!” So she caught that. This was awkward.
“Must have had quite an evening, huh?”
“Huh?” Hibiki turned and caught his reflection in a nearby pair of sunglasses. Apparently he hadn’t managed to remove all of the lipstick from earlier. ‘Well, at least she didn’t recognize me,’ he thought to himself in relief. As Mukogawa brushed past him, he noticed that she was wearing rather a lot of perfume and it was different from what she typically wore to school. The unfamiliar fragrance tickled his sinuses. He unconsciously rubbed his nose and continued shopping.
To his dismay, he found himself in line behind the heavily perfumed Vice-Principal. His mind raced as he tried to make sure that he wouldn’t say or do anything that might seem strangely familiar to her. He tried to avoid eye contact without seeming too suspicious, and tried to ignore the flowery fume pouring off of the woman. Based on how much she put on, she apparently really liked this particular scent. He was not too fond of it himself and the more he smelled it, the more it tickled his nose. After a moment he was overwhelmed.
“Hah… Hah-AAHHHTCHooo! HAAAHTCHooo,” and a few shallow breaths later, “HAAAHTCHooo! *sniff*.” He felt better but took a step back anyway.
“Bless you. Allergy season?” Mukogawa asked disinterestedly.
“N-no. *sniff* P-Perfume… I… think… hah… aah-AAHHHTCHooo!”
“That’s strange. This stuff doesn’t bother anyone, even my sister, who’s usually bothered by everything. Well… I’m off anyway.” She took her change and left, without looking back. Hibiki paid for his food and returned home.
--------------------
Although it was late, the landlord was still up and joined him for dinner. He was grateful, since she had cooked up some rice and brewed tea. She didn’t want any ramen, but offered to share the rice. As they ate he told her about the run-in he’d had with the Vice-Principal.
“Hmmmm….” Oba-chan rubbed her wrinkled chin, deep in thought. “I wonder… I’d be careful if I were you.”
“Oh, don’t worry. She had no idea…”
“It’s not that, you fool!” Oba-chan barked grumpily. “You know that collar I gave you - the one that disguises your voice? Well… I don’t know how well it would do with a sneeze. You said she already suspects you. If she hears the same sneeze again, she might suspect even more…”
“I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Of course you didn’t! Or you would have been more careful!”
“I think you worry too much Oba-chan.”
“Well… You young people don’t worry nearly enough. And stop calling me Oba-chan!”
--------------------
The next day in school, in his guise as the feminine ‘Amawa-sensei,’ Hibiki barely escaped having an early run in with Vice-Principal Mukogawa. They passed each other in the hall and the same scent as the night before washed over Hibiki like the tide. Immediately his sinuses were on fire, he could swear his eyes crossed just trying to keep the impending sneezes in. He really did not want to deal with the Vice Principal first thing in the morning, if he could help it. Once she was a little farther down the hall, he ducked into the ladies room, and let it go.
“hah-aaaatchoo! haaahtchoo! *shallow breaths* HAAATChooo!” He was surprised that the sneeze sounded both foreign and familiar at the same time. It was his same three-sneeze pattern, with the three syllable first, followed by a pair of two syllable sneezes, separated by a pause while he caught his breath. But it was higher pitched, and definitely sounded more like a woman’s sneeze. He wasn’t sure if it would sound familiar to the Vice Principal or not, but the more he thought about it, it probably didn’t matter. What did she say? Nobody gets bothered by this stuff? Not even people who are bothered by everything else? Great – he now had one more thing to worry about. As if that wasn’t enough, he heard the sound of a toilet flush in one of the stalls behind him. Which bathroom was he in anyway? Had he gone into the men’s by mistake? He looked around frantically for urinals and was relieved when he didn’t see any. He hardly thought this was much better though.
“Bless you sensei!” called Fuko Kuzuha as she exited the stall. Fuko was one of the students in his class. She had been a really shy girl when he first arrived, but had started come out of her shell a bit since Hibiki started teaching. Of course standing here in the bathroom with her didn’t strike Hibiki as something that would fall under the “nurturing teacher-student relationship” category. This was just so wrong.
“Uh… Thanks, Kuzuha!”
“Are you coming down with a cold?”
“I think it might be allergies. Hey – you better run along to class. Go on now.”
“Kay. Bye, Sensei!”
--------------------
Several class periods went by and it was time for lunch. As Hibiki made his way back the office, he was distressed at running into Vice Principal Mukogawa again.
“Amawa-sensei… Hello!” She seemed in a better mood than usual. But that perfume… Had she put on even more of it?
“Heh-Hello, V-Vice P-Principal!” He tried to sound cheery, but his voice came out wavy and uncertain sounding. At least the collar was still working. His nose was screaming in agony though, and it was all he could do to keep from having a fit.
“Are you OK Amawa-sensei?” The question dripped with fake sounding concern. Mukogawa almost looked like she was studying Hibiki, or testing him.
“Y-yeah *sniff* I’m fah… fine…” Take it easy now, he thought. Slow breaths… don’t give in…
“Greeeaaaat!”
Man, that woman had an evil grin, Hibiki thought.
“Hey, I’ve got something here for you! It’s a present of sorts. I’ve been giving one to all the teachers! Here you go!” Hibiki was horrified when Mukogawa produced a small vial of perfume. He though he would die as she raised it to his neck. “Here, try some! Let me know what you think…” Her voice was thick with fake sounding over-enthusiasm. Not once in the entire time he’d worked here had the Vice-Principal said two nice words to Hibiki. She was about to push the button on top of the vial.
“Aahhh… *sniff* V-Very… n-nice.. *sniff*” Hibiki braced himself. His eyes were watering. Would his mascara run? His nose was already on fire. Don’t sneeze… Don’t sneeze… don’t give in… you can do it….
Just as Mukogawa was about to administer the dreaded spray, one of Hibiki’s students came running from around the corner. It was Kyosuke Aoki, a male student with average grades and an enormous crush on the cross-dressing teacher whom he believed to be a woman.
“Hibiki-chan! I heard from Kuzuha that you weren’t feeling well! Please accept these! I hope you’ll feel better!” Hibiki couldn’t believe his luck – Kyosuke was presenting him with a bouquet of wildflowers! He let his control go.
“hah… ahh… hah-aaaatchoo! Oh… Aoki-san…haaahtchoo! I’m aller… aller… haaatchoo! I’m allergic to…” He didn’t have to fake the sneeze, just the protest. He was off the hook now.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING AOKI-SAN?! Get rid of those immediately!” the Vice Principal screamed at him.
Aoki apologized and then walked away, apparently really embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Amawa-sensei.” Mukogawa mumble as she stomped off apparently really disappointed.
Curiously, she did not give Hibiki the bottle that was meant to be his ‘gift.’ It struck him as odd, but then he never figured the Vice-Principal was really giving him a gift anyway. In a way he was grateful not to have to deal with the stuff.
--------------------
Thankfully, Hibiki didn’t see the Vice Principal for the rest of the day. After the last belled sounded, he packed up his things and left the office. He had almost gotten out of the building when he saw Mukogawa’s silhouette in the doorway. She was blocking the exit.
“Amawa-sensei!” She had the same fake sounding sing-song tone as before.
“V-Vice *sniff* Principal!” Did this woman realize how much perfume she had on? It went well beyond the boundary of good taste and was now approaching ‘brothel-girl’ levels. If he’d lit a match, he was sure she’d combust.
“I never got a chance to give you this! Let me know what you think!” Wasting no time, Mukogawa sprayed him. She looked like she was aiming for his neck, but half of it hit his chin and upper lip. He would have felt better snorting wasabi.
“*snnxrt*!” That was attractive sounding, Hibiki thought of his half snort as his respiratory system nearly gagged on the noxious fume. “Oh… m-my *sniff* th-that’s *sniff* love… *sniff* …ly. I… r-really *sniff* gotta… *sniff* go now!” But Mukogawa was still blocking the door, studying Hibiki intently.
“Are you OK, Amawa-sensei?”
“J-just… *sniff* f-fine. N-no pro… *sniff* problem… here!” What was he doing? He couldn’t believe he was fooling anyone. His nose was running, his voice was sniffly, he could barely speak. He sounded like nothing other that a person trying desperately to hold back a sneeze. “Th-that’s *sniff* r-really n-nice! *sniff* Wh-Where d-did *sniff* you g-g-get it?”
Mukogawa looked at him a moment longer, then the faux smile disappeared from her face. Whatever she was hoping for, apparently she didn’t see it. “At the store. Here.” She said in a disappointed tone. She shoved the bottle into Hibiki’s hands and stomped off again.
Hardly able to believe his luck, Hibiki walked quickly out the door. He still struggled to hold back his impending sneezing fit until he was farther away. He walked as quick as he could, without breaking into a run. Once he’d reached the gates, he sidestepped, putting the outer wall between himself and the school and let it go.
“Hah-aaaahcthoo! Hatchoo! *shallow breaths* Haaahtchoo!”
“Are you ok, sensei?”
He looked up into Kuzuha’s concerned eyes and shook his head, not even able to talk though the sneezes.
“Hatchoo! Hatchoo! Haaaaaahtchooo!”
“I saw what the Vice Principal did. That was really mean. You should tell someone about…”
“N-No… Ahh…Hah…aaaahcthoo! No Kuzuha… Hatchoo! *sniff* I want you *sniff* I want you to promise me something.”
“Anything sensei!”
“P-Promise me *sniff* that you won’t… hang on… Haaaht-choo! Promise me you won’t tell anyone about this! *sniff* Hat-choo!”
“But, why Sensei? I mean…”
“Haaaaaahtchoo! *sniff* Promise me, Kuzuha!”
“OK. I promise. Will you get in trouble or something?”
“Yeah *sniff* something like that. *sniff* Haaaaaahtchooo! Oh man! *sniff* I really need to go wash this off! *sniff* Just promise me - *sniff* NO ONE.”
“I promise, I promise! Not even the other students!”
“Thanks Ku… zu… ha-haaaahtchoo! I’ve gotta go!”
--------------------
Oba-chan watched over him as he washed up, still sneezing occasionally.
“So the collar worked, huh? That’s a relief.”
“But Oba-chan, I can’t keep this up! I was able to hold out today, and got a few lucky breaks, but…”
“Oh don’t be such a worry-wort!”
‘Who was the worry-wort this morning?’ he thought to himself.
“I gotcha through that physical exam, didn’t I? I’m watchin’ out for ya!” Oba-chan cackled, sounding almost strangely maternal. “Here, take this…” she held up a small bottle that looked like nasal spray. “It’ll give you a few minutes of protection from even the worst exposure. I’m sure in a few more days that little witch will probably forget all about it.”
“Gee Oba-chan, Thanks!” He reached for it, but she held it back.
“I told you not to call me Oba-chan! Besides… we still have to test it.” An evil looking grin spread across her weathered face as she brought her other hand out. It was holding a vial of the dreaded perfume.
“N-No... w-wait Oba-chan… N-no… Hah-aaaahcthoo! Hatchoo! *shallow breaths* Haaahtchoo!”
(Fade out – cue music)
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Hellsing Drabble
Hellsing Drabble
Setting and all non-original characters are property Kouta Hirano
"Sir Integra? It's time to wake up." Shortly after the mellow voice of her butler, Walter, floated into her consciousness, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing was thrust into a state of full wakefulness as the curtains were drawn and intense sunlight flooded into her room. She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sudden, blinding light.
"Walter, what time is it?" she asked in a weary tone.
"7:00 Ma'am. Later than usual, so I took the liberty of poking my head in the door. I hope you don't mind."
"No. Thank you. I would have overslept." She sat of the edge of the bed with a look that, from Walter's point of view, suggested she was concentrating on some tiny spot on the floor.
"I laid out your suit in the dressing room, so if you don't need anything else, I'll…"
"HAAAHHHShoo-oo!" Integra bent over, almost parallel the floor. Her golden white hair was thrown over her head and now hung in hear face. Both hands were pressed firmly against her nose. She remained in that position for a moment, reminiscent of someone who might be trying to staunch a wound. "Ooooh! *sniff*."
"Bless you, ma'am. Are you…"
"I'm fine, Walter. Give me a few minutes, I'll join you presently."
She felt a little better after a quick shower and, once prepared for the day ahead, nothing about her immaculate appearance betrayed the symptoms she was feeling aside from the slightest tinge of pink around the edges of her nose.
"Can't be helped." She sighed, putting on a pair of white gloves. Finally she put on her glasses. The pads applied pressure to her irritated nose in the worst possible place, and she had no time to remove them before another harsh sneeze overtook her.
"HAAAAAHHHTCH! *sniff* Ohhhhh…" She hated this. Her sneeze had a sound of near desperation, in complete contrast with her normally unflappable demeanor. It bothered her to no end that while she had the will to keep a 300 year old vampire and one of the most powerful beings on earth in check, there were times when she could not control her own respiration. 'Maybe the gloves are a bad idea today,' she thought, leaving them behind opting for the handkerchief instead.
She met Walter in the hallway and he briefed her on the day's agenda as they made their way to her office. Thankfully the schedule was light, and she would be able to address the backlog of paperwork that accumulated after their last case. As they descended the spiral staircase down to the administration level, she stopped him, putting a hand on his chest and turn slightly away. Even so, Walter could see the look of intense concentration as her eyes narrowed. He could see her nostrils flare as she took a long, sharp breath.
"HAAAHYEEEESHHoo!" Again she bent over, holding her thumb firmly against her nose, is if to prevent another from coming. Her hair which had been perfect to a strand again hung haphazardly over her face. After half a minute in that position, she rose and gently pushed her fair locks back behind her shoulder.
"If you're not feeling well today ma'am, perhaps you should…"
"Walter, we go through this every year." Integra interrupted him in a frustrated tone. "*sniff* You know perfectly well there's not a bloody thing wrong with me aside… from…" the last word raised a level in pitch as she tried to keep from taking that sharp inhale, but there was no preventing it. "HAAAAAAHYEEEEEShoo!" The wet, desperate sound echoed through the corridor. She was breathing from her mouth in slow, heavy breaths, her nose pressed in the crook of her hand between her thumb and forefinger. She remained bent over a moment longer, eyes closed, trying to will away any future occurrences. "…aside from all the pollen from that blasted weed." She finished, picking up where she'd left off. "In a week or so this will pass, as it always does, and no amount of rest will hasten that!"
"Still, I could make a trip to the phar…"
"Forget it, Walter. *sniff* You know the only thing that helps would put me out for the day and I have far too much work to do. The only effect of anything else would be to dull my wits down to the level of all the men I'm surrounded by." Walter did not take her barb personally - he knew full well that she had nothing but respect for all members of the Hellsing organization – but he did take the hint that she was in no mood to discuss it further. He went on with the briefing until they reached the door to her office. With her hand on the door knob she began to ask him a final question, but her voice was ovewhelmed by her hitching breath.
"Haaaah… HAAAYEEETshoo! Damn!" She swore under her breath, still bent over, one hand remaining on the door knob, while the other pinched her irritated nose. She had hoped to have taken her leave of Walter before using the handkerchief, but it couldn't be put off any longer. "Excuse me, Walter." She turned and blew, making as little noise as her wet, runny nose would allow.
"Sir Integra, really, if you do not feel…"
"WALTER! IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ON THE MATTER I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEAD OFF, SCOOP OUT THE INSIDES AND SEND IT TO YOUR MOTHER AS A VASE! *sniff*." Her icy expression communicated utter finality.
"Of course ma'am."
She opened the door, but froze in the doorway as she turned. In the middle of her desk was a stout crystal vase filled with a bouquet of small purple blooms. He eyes started to tear up just looking at it. "What the hell are those?" she asked in a clearly annoyed tone.
"Well… Ah… I believe that they are…"
"*sniff* I know what they bloody well are! *sniff* What the devil are they doing on my desk?!"
"Ah… let's see…" The butler pushed past her and examined the offending package. "There's a note... apparently they're from Alucard… 'Hope you're feeling bet…'"
"Remove them immediately." She interrupted him firmly. She held her breath for a moment as Walter brought them through the doorway. As she sat down she swore she could still detect the slightest hint of their scent, lingering. She blew her nose again, the handkerchief now soaked through. "Damn." She swore again, quietly.
"*sniff* That wasn't very bloody funny you know!" She said aloud, certain she was not talking to herself.
"I thought women enjoyed getting flow…"
She turned to cut him off, but was cut off herself by a sharp intake of breath "HEEEEYAAAAATchoo!" Every muscle in her body felt fatigued as they tensed, bending her over. Her breathing got noticeably heavier and, breathing through her mouth, she sounded winded. Her clear blue eyes, now red with irritation, each shed a single tear. She rubbed her itchy nose vigorously with her finger before sitting up again.
Alucard emerged from the shadows and stood staring at his human master. As far as he knew, this woman sitting before him may as well have been made of iron. Her will was at least as strong as his, and she ruled both him and the Hellsing organization with discipline and unwavering control. He had more respect for her than he thought he could possess for any human, and yet some small, petty part of him still harbored the slightest bitterness at his position. Some small part of him was subtly amused by seeing this otherwise indomitable woman grapple with something so maddeningly just beyond her control.
"I'll never figure out why you put up with it."
Choosing not to stand on protocol on Alucard's behalf, she blew her nose again into the small, already saturated handkerchief. She looked up, through stray strands of misplaced hair, with piercing blue eyes now rimmed with redness. "*sniff* Why are you here?"
He just and continued to stare. The smallest grin graced his countenance.
"*sniff* Isn't there a werewolf somewhere that needs kill.. ing…?" She had not been able to finish before her voice lost its authority. Her breath hitched again, and she inhaled sharply. "HAAAHYEEETchoo." Her hair obscured her face again. Her nose had grown quite red, and her eyes almost hurt to open. As annoying as her condition was, she was infinitely more annoyed by Alucard's smug, satisfied grin.
"Can't afford to show any weakness, can you?" He taunted, as if reading her mind.
"If you're enjoying this so much, why not just drink some of my blood. Maybe then you'll have the same reaction. *sniff*"
"The offer is always open for you to drink some of mine. Then you would never feel like this again."
The gaze she fixed on him made him feel exposed, as if she were shining a light into the very depths of his dark soul. She was the only human who could do that. He had known thousands of them over hundreds of years of un-life and, for all his experiences, he could still not read that expression. He still could not read what she was thinking; what her eyes were telling him. Then he saw those same steely blue eyes start to slowly narrow. He knew what this look meant. He waited, grinning, for her to succumb to the incontrollable intake of breath.
"HEEEEYAAAATCHshoo."
"Bless you." He said smiling, as he sunk back into the shadows from whence he came.
"*sniff* Ugh. This is going to be a long week." Integra said to herself, still bent over and holding her nose firmly against the back of her hand.
Setting and all non-original characters are property Kouta Hirano
"Sir Integra? It's time to wake up." Shortly after the mellow voice of her butler, Walter, floated into her consciousness, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing was thrust into a state of full wakefulness as the curtains were drawn and intense sunlight flooded into her room. She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sudden, blinding light.
"Walter, what time is it?" she asked in a weary tone.
"7:00 Ma'am. Later than usual, so I took the liberty of poking my head in the door. I hope you don't mind."
"No. Thank you. I would have overslept." She sat of the edge of the bed with a look that, from Walter's point of view, suggested she was concentrating on some tiny spot on the floor.
"I laid out your suit in the dressing room, so if you don't need anything else, I'll…"
"HAAAHHHShoo-oo!" Integra bent over, almost parallel the floor. Her golden white hair was thrown over her head and now hung in hear face. Both hands were pressed firmly against her nose. She remained in that position for a moment, reminiscent of someone who might be trying to staunch a wound. "Ooooh! *sniff*."
"Bless you, ma'am. Are you…"
"I'm fine, Walter. Give me a few minutes, I'll join you presently."
She felt a little better after a quick shower and, once prepared for the day ahead, nothing about her immaculate appearance betrayed the symptoms she was feeling aside from the slightest tinge of pink around the edges of her nose.
"Can't be helped." She sighed, putting on a pair of white gloves. Finally she put on her glasses. The pads applied pressure to her irritated nose in the worst possible place, and she had no time to remove them before another harsh sneeze overtook her.
"HAAAAAHHHTCH! *sniff* Ohhhhh…" She hated this. Her sneeze had a sound of near desperation, in complete contrast with her normally unflappable demeanor. It bothered her to no end that while she had the will to keep a 300 year old vampire and one of the most powerful beings on earth in check, there were times when she could not control her own respiration. 'Maybe the gloves are a bad idea today,' she thought, leaving them behind opting for the handkerchief instead.
She met Walter in the hallway and he briefed her on the day's agenda as they made their way to her office. Thankfully the schedule was light, and she would be able to address the backlog of paperwork that accumulated after their last case. As they descended the spiral staircase down to the administration level, she stopped him, putting a hand on his chest and turn slightly away. Even so, Walter could see the look of intense concentration as her eyes narrowed. He could see her nostrils flare as she took a long, sharp breath.
"HAAAHYEEEESHHoo!" Again she bent over, holding her thumb firmly against her nose, is if to prevent another from coming. Her hair which had been perfect to a strand again hung haphazardly over her face. After half a minute in that position, she rose and gently pushed her fair locks back behind her shoulder.
"If you're not feeling well today ma'am, perhaps you should…"
"Walter, we go through this every year." Integra interrupted him in a frustrated tone. "*sniff* You know perfectly well there's not a bloody thing wrong with me aside… from…" the last word raised a level in pitch as she tried to keep from taking that sharp inhale, but there was no preventing it. "HAAAAAAHYEEEEEShoo!" The wet, desperate sound echoed through the corridor. She was breathing from her mouth in slow, heavy breaths, her nose pressed in the crook of her hand between her thumb and forefinger. She remained bent over a moment longer, eyes closed, trying to will away any future occurrences. "…aside from all the pollen from that blasted weed." She finished, picking up where she'd left off. "In a week or so this will pass, as it always does, and no amount of rest will hasten that!"
"Still, I could make a trip to the phar…"
"Forget it, Walter. *sniff* You know the only thing that helps would put me out for the day and I have far too much work to do. The only effect of anything else would be to dull my wits down to the level of all the men I'm surrounded by." Walter did not take her barb personally - he knew full well that she had nothing but respect for all members of the Hellsing organization – but he did take the hint that she was in no mood to discuss it further. He went on with the briefing until they reached the door to her office. With her hand on the door knob she began to ask him a final question, but her voice was ovewhelmed by her hitching breath.
"Haaaah… HAAAYEEETshoo! Damn!" She swore under her breath, still bent over, one hand remaining on the door knob, while the other pinched her irritated nose. She had hoped to have taken her leave of Walter before using the handkerchief, but it couldn't be put off any longer. "Excuse me, Walter." She turned and blew, making as little noise as her wet, runny nose would allow.
"Sir Integra, really, if you do not feel…"
"WALTER! IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ON THE MATTER I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEAD OFF, SCOOP OUT THE INSIDES AND SEND IT TO YOUR MOTHER AS A VASE! *sniff*." Her icy expression communicated utter finality.
"Of course ma'am."
She opened the door, but froze in the doorway as she turned. In the middle of her desk was a stout crystal vase filled with a bouquet of small purple blooms. He eyes started to tear up just looking at it. "What the hell are those?" she asked in a clearly annoyed tone.
"Well… Ah… I believe that they are…"
"*sniff* I know what they bloody well are! *sniff* What the devil are they doing on my desk?!"
"Ah… let's see…" The butler pushed past her and examined the offending package. "There's a note... apparently they're from Alucard… 'Hope you're feeling bet…'"
"Remove them immediately." She interrupted him firmly. She held her breath for a moment as Walter brought them through the doorway. As she sat down she swore she could still detect the slightest hint of their scent, lingering. She blew her nose again, the handkerchief now soaked through. "Damn." She swore again, quietly.
"*sniff* That wasn't very bloody funny you know!" She said aloud, certain she was not talking to herself.
"I thought women enjoyed getting flow…"
She turned to cut him off, but was cut off herself by a sharp intake of breath "HEEEEYAAAAATchoo!" Every muscle in her body felt fatigued as they tensed, bending her over. Her breathing got noticeably heavier and, breathing through her mouth, she sounded winded. Her clear blue eyes, now red with irritation, each shed a single tear. She rubbed her itchy nose vigorously with her finger before sitting up again.
Alucard emerged from the shadows and stood staring at his human master. As far as he knew, this woman sitting before him may as well have been made of iron. Her will was at least as strong as his, and she ruled both him and the Hellsing organization with discipline and unwavering control. He had more respect for her than he thought he could possess for any human, and yet some small, petty part of him still harbored the slightest bitterness at his position. Some small part of him was subtly amused by seeing this otherwise indomitable woman grapple with something so maddeningly just beyond her control.
"I'll never figure out why you put up with it."
Choosing not to stand on protocol on Alucard's behalf, she blew her nose again into the small, already saturated handkerchief. She looked up, through stray strands of misplaced hair, with piercing blue eyes now rimmed with redness. "*sniff* Why are you here?"
He just and continued to stare. The smallest grin graced his countenance.
"*sniff* Isn't there a werewolf somewhere that needs kill.. ing…?" She had not been able to finish before her voice lost its authority. Her breath hitched again, and she inhaled sharply. "HAAAHYEEETchoo." Her hair obscured her face again. Her nose had grown quite red, and her eyes almost hurt to open. As annoying as her condition was, she was infinitely more annoyed by Alucard's smug, satisfied grin.
"Can't afford to show any weakness, can you?" He taunted, as if reading her mind.
"If you're enjoying this so much, why not just drink some of my blood. Maybe then you'll have the same reaction. *sniff*"
"The offer is always open for you to drink some of mine. Then you would never feel like this again."
The gaze she fixed on him made him feel exposed, as if she were shining a light into the very depths of his dark soul. She was the only human who could do that. He had known thousands of them over hundreds of years of un-life and, for all his experiences, he could still not read that expression. He still could not read what she was thinking; what her eyes were telling him. Then he saw those same steely blue eyes start to slowly narrow. He knew what this look meant. He waited, grinning, for her to succumb to the incontrollable intake of breath.
"HEEEEYAAAATCHshoo."
"Bless you." He said smiling, as he sunk back into the shadows from whence he came.
"*sniff* Ugh. This is going to be a long week." Integra said to herself, still bent over and holding her nose firmly against the back of her hand.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Ah! We Really Screwed Up! (Ah! My Goddess!)
An Ah! My Goddess! fanfic
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Kosuke Fujishima
Part 2 of 3: This is a continuation of Ah! I'm Going to Sneeze!
"I'm sorry you didn't have such a good time tonight…" Yuichi started.
"No! I should apologize! I'm the one who ruined everything!" Sora interrupted, sounding almost on the verge of tears.
Yuichi laughed for almost a minute strait. "Are you kidding? I had a great time! Actually I…" He stopped abruptly, still smiling, but whatever else he was going to say he kept to himself. He looked directly into her eyes. His gaze was intense. Sora had never seen anyone look at her like that before. He put his hand to her cheek.
"What…" but she couldn't finish her question. He leaned forward and their lips met. Her eyes closed and, as if on auto-pilot, her hands found their way to his back. For a moment she could feel nothing else in the entire world except for the warmth that was filling up inside of her. Then she became aware of something else. Her eyes shot open.
"Wait…" she whispered.
"Why?" He asked.
"I have… to… snee… HAAAAT-SHOOO! (*squeak*)"
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Sora opened her eyes. Her face was cradled in Yuichi's gentle hand. Her hands, which she had intended to cover up with, were pressed against the outside of his. The realization of what she'd done horrified her - 'I. just. Sneezed. Into. His. Hand.' The thought made her wish she could vanish into thin air on the spot. She waited and braced herself for his disgust… his rejection. In a few seconds she knew she would start to cry. But that disgust never came.
Yuichi gently raised her face up, so she was looking into his kind and loving eyes. She was lost for a moment in those eyes. They grew bigger, as he leaned forward and their lips met again. Inside her it felt like that sad, frightened girl was now only a distant memory. She was filled body and soul by a warmth that felt as foreign to her as confidence. Her hand found its way to the back of his head. She had no idea how. She was holding him so tightly she was almost afraid she'd crush him. Then she held him even tighter as she fumbled for the doorknob with her other hand.
Of course the door was locked and they had to stop kissing so the she could fish the key out of her purse and unlock the door. Neither said a word, each looking at the other with shy smiles and nervous laughter. She took him by the hand and led him inside.
Once they were inside, her nervousness returned. She felt so good just seconds ago, what had happened? She didn't know what to say, or how to get back to where they just were; where she so much wanted to return to. She turned to say something… What? She didn't know. Offer him a cup of coffee, maybe? Did she even have any? It didn't matter. As she turned, he was right there and she was in his arms. He kissed her again, and the nervousness vanished. In her entire life she had never felt this happy. She had never felt this loved.
Somehow she found herself sitting on the sofa. Their lips pressed against one another. She could feel his hands, one on the back of her head, the other on her side. She could feel its warmth against her ribcage. Her heart was pounding. His hand moved ever so slightly. His thumb and index finger pressed against her, just beneath one of her small breasts. Voices of insecurity tried to speak, but only in whispers now. She wasn't even aware of where her hands were. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted him to take her. But she was brought back to awkward reality as a now familiar tickle crept into her nose.
"Wait…" She whispered. He was still kissing her.
"huh…?" He stopped, looking into her eyes through the glasses that magnified them.
"Hafta… sn… eeze… hup-*chew*!" She hated that high-pitched squeak. But when she looked back he was smiling, almost laughing, so she did the same. "I'm sorry. Must still be some cat hair or something from the party."
"It's OK," he whispered back. "You look so cute that way. I… I think you're really beautiful."
She could feel her face getting flushed. "You must say th-that a… lot… th-then… hup-*chew*!" She had turned away in time and when she faced him again, he dabbed the sides of her nose with a tissue.
"Now, now," he continued in a whisper. "I don't say that a lot and I do mean it. I don't know what you think about yourself, but I think you are beautiful."
"Even wh-when… hang on…" her eyes narrowed and she turned to the side again taking in a long sharp breath. "hup-*chew*! Even when I can't stop sneezing, and my nose is running like a faucet? Thanks, by the way." She nodded at the tissue in his hand.
"Especially when…" He cut himself off in mid sentence and remained silent for a moment longer. "Hasegawa… I really want to tell you something, but I don't know how you'll take it."
"*sniff* What is it?" She whispered, concerned that he was about to tell her something dreadful. Did he already have a girlfriend? Was he just not interested in her that way? The whispers of insecurity were screaming now. She sat up, and looked at him intently.
"I… ah… Oh boy, this is awkward." Cleary something was really bothering him.
Sora was as much surprised that she could even make such a great guy feel awkward as she was nervous about what he was about to tell her. She felt cold. She could no longer feel any trace of the warmth that had filled her just moments ago. She braced herself for the worst, leaned forward and whispered "You can tell me. It's OK."
He took a deep breath. "When I said 'especially' just now… Well… you see, I really meant that. When I said you were beautiful I really meant that and… when I said you were cute when you sneezed… well… I meant that too. In particular… I really like the way you look, and sound… when you… sneeze."
She sat bolt upright and stared at him, clearly confused. "Wait… What are you talking about? What do you mean? Like you have some kind of a sneezing fetish or something?" She wasn't sure where this voice was coming from. Was she angry? She wasn't sure. Didn't she really like him? Didn't he make her happy? Does what he just said really change anything?
"Well… yeah." He wasn't looking at her anymore.
She didn't feel so good now. Her old voice was back, filled with rejection and disappointment. If she had been flying before, she was clearly on the ground now. "So… that's the reason you came home with me? That's really why you're here, isn't it?" She sounded ashamed.
"No! No, that's not it at all! I really like you, I…" But he could tell she didn't believe him.
She wanted to believe him, but how could she? She didn't believe in herself. She had been bothered by a single thought all night, the only imperfection aside from these mysterious allergies that kept bothering her: Why? Why did he pick me? How could he like someone like me? How could he possibly find someone like me attractive? And now she thought she had her answer. It wasn't her at all; just her sneezing. "I think you should go now." She said in a sad whisper, fighting back the inevitable tears.
Now his heart raced. He wasn't sure how she would take it, but he hadn't expected it to go nearly this badly. "Hasegawa… I…" But he really had no idea what to say.
"Just *sniff* go." She could feel the tickle creeping up her nose again, and was determined not to sneeze in front of him again - ever, if she could manage it. In her long, pathetic life, she had never felt this humiliated.
"OK… I'm going… I'm… I'm so sorry." He walked out, with his head hung low.
Sora felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come. She had just thrown the only guy that ever liked her out of her apartment. But, she thought, he didn't like her. Not really. She'd tried to remember if she'd been sneezing when they first met. She must have been, she thought. That's the only reason he asked me to go to that party. She walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water before going to bed. She'd forgotten about the roses on the table.
"hup-*chew*! AAAAAAAH!" She was furious now. At him. At herself. She threw the roses in the trash, sunk to the floor beside the trash can and the tears finally came. She sobbed openly for a long while. She couldn't even remember getting into bed.
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Sora woke up the next day feeling completely miserable. Her eyes were puffy from crying the night before and her nose had still not stopped running. Her clock-radio turned on at eight O'clock and she only heard the newsman say "…POLLEN COUNT…" before her hand hitting the snooze button.
"*sniiiiifff* Ugh. I don't even want to know." It was Saturday and, while she didn't have any classes, the auto club was still meeting. There was a big race coming up and they needed to draw up a work schedule for what they had left to do on the car. She got dressed and dragged her feet to the door. As soon as she'd opened it, she knew she'd forgotten something.
"hup-*chew*! *sniiiiiif* Ugh. Tissues. Need tissues."
She sneezed several times waiting for the bus. She looked a wreck and was vaguely aware of the other people trying not to get too close to her. The bus ride was uneventful, but the walk across campus was too much. She'd sneezed so many times that the single pocket pack of tissues was almost gone by the time she reached the club room. Thankfully, the air conditioning was working. She sat and put her head down on the table.
"Hey, Hasegawa," A deep booming voice called from above her. "You look terrible!"
Well at least some men can be honest, she thought. She looked up into Tamiya's hulking silhouette. "*sniiiif* ugh. I have bad allergies today."
"Oh. I thought you were sick or something. It looks like Asakawa-san's sick anyway – he didn't show! You heard from him?"
Thank god for small favors, she thought. "I have… hang on… haaaahp-*chew*! …no idea where he is."
"Well… if you want to, you should go get some rest. You look like you really need it."
So the big lug did care, she thought to herself. Of course she was only being noticed for looking particularly awful this morning, but at least he noticed. "Yeah, I might." On the way out the door, she bumped into Megumi, her friend Keichi's younger sister.
"Hasegawa – you look…"
"Terrible, I know. I… hang on… hup-*chew*! I'm having bad allergies today."
"Wow. You must have it really bad! Do you need any more tissues? I have a spare pack in my purse."
"*sniiif* Thanks, Megumi. Hey… can I… talk to you for a minute… in private?" She'd never confided in Megumi before, but if she was anything like Keichi, Sora knew she'd understand. Plus, being a girl, she would be easier to talk to about something like this.
Sora told her everything that had happened, leaving out the bit about Yuichi's fetish. As angry as she was, she didn't think it would be right to share what he obviously considered a secret. She just said he told her something that made her feel a bit used, but refused to tell Megumi anymore.
"Wow." Megumi sat quiet for a moment while she absorbed what had happened. "Well… first off you two really need to talk. Guys can say dumb things sometimes (just look at Keichi) and you may have just taken it wrong. Besides – he did say you were pretty, didn't he?"
"No – beautiful." She answered, sarcastically. "So… I mean, come on… how…"
"Hasegawa," Megumi took her hand up in both of her own. "You are a cute girl. You…" But she could see Sora wasn't with her.
"*sniff* Do I looked attractive to you at all right now?"
"OK. No. Not right now. Right now you look a wreck!" Megumi laughed a little, and Hasegawa cracked a smiled, before blowing her nose. "You know what? You might be surprised to learn this, but guys don't all go for the same thing, you know! Those guys that are always hanging off of Sayoko? Or the ones chasing the new freshman girl? What's her name… Asako? Would you even want any of them? I mean they obviously have no taste!" Now Hasegawa was laughing a little, feeling glad that she decided to open up to Megumi. "Look at me? Do you think I'm ugly? Well all those guys aren't chasing me around either, but do I care? No way. I know there's a guy or two out there who can't take his eyes off me, and Sora – there's a few out there for you too. You really are cute. Just not in the same was as all those girls you think are so hot are! Talk it out with him. I bet this is just a misunderstanding. The way you said he looked at you at the club meeting yesterday... there was something there. If you weren't so down on yourself all the time you'd have realized that." Seeing that Sora was still down on herself, Megumi had one other idea. "All right, I'll tell you what… If you don't want to take my advice, why don't you talk to Belldandy? I won't be offended. And you know she's not going to lie to you. But if she says the same thing I did, promise me you'll take our advice."
Sora blew her nose again and though itchy eyes looked back at Megumi's encouraging smile. "Thanks Megumi. OK. I don't know what I'd say… But maybe I will try to talk it out with him. I don't know. Maybe talking to Belldandy first would still be a good idea… But, thanks. You really we're a big help"
Just clean yourself up a little and take a pill before you go talk to him, Megumi thought to herself, waving to Sora as she left.
--------------------
Sora made the trip over to the temple where Keichi and Belldandy lived in relative misery. The bus was running behind, and waiting at the bus stop she was helpless to suppress her sneezing or do anything about her runny nose. By the time the bus came she was glad for the extra pack of tissues Megumi gave her. Her's were all gone and the air conditioning on the bus was broken, so all the windows were open. About the only saving grace, Sora thought to herself, was that, as much as she was sneezing and sniffling, no one wanted to sit near her so she had most of the bench to herself. The closest bus stop was only two blocks from the temple, but for Sora it was a long trek anyway. She never noticed how much landscaping the residents and businesses in this part of town had done, but her nose was painfully aware it as every fragrant hedge she passed seemed to set her off in force. At last she reached the temple, and knocked on the door. She was met by Keichi.
"Hasegawa, you look terrible!"
It was the third time she'd been told that that day, but she barely noticed. She said that to herself almost every day, so why should today be any different? "Kei! How come you're not down at the club house?"
"Uh… yeah… my bike's acting up today, so I'm running behind. I'd take the bus but at this point I'm pretty sure I'd miss the meeting anyway. But hey! Please, come on in! Sit down. Can I get you some tea, or something? Maybe… some… tissues?"
"That would be great, thanks. Listen, I'm sorry to come over out of the blue like this but… hang on…hup-*CHEW*! Oooh… My nose! Anyway, is Belldandy around? I really need to talk to her."
"Sure, I'll get her… Are you… OK?"
"N-no…" She started, but her breath suddenly stopped cooperating. "hup-*CHEW*! *sniff* No, not really. I talked to Megumi earlier, and she thought Belldandy might be able to give me some advice." Sora tried wait for Keichi to leave before blowing her nose but, of course, he poked his head in to ask how she wanted her tea just as she was in mid-blow. "Just plain, please."
Belldandy came in shortly, bringing a couple of cups of tea with her. "Oh Hasegawa, you poor thing! Is there anything I can do for you?"
At least she didn't feel the need to comment on my horrid appearance, Sora thought. She told Belldandy what had happened the night before, again stopping short of revealing Asakawa's secret, just as she had with Megumi. She had hoped that Belldandy would know exactly what to tell her, but instead she just looked Confused.
"Well… I'm not really sure what to say. It sounded like you were having such a wonderful time, until whatever it was that he said to you. But, if it was something really awful… Are you sure you can't tell me?"
"It wasn't awful. Not really. I just couldn't figure out why he was interested in me, and then… well… what he said kind of explained it and… I felt like he didn't really like me at all… hang on… excuse me… hup-*CHEW*!"
"I still can't imagine what he could have told you…" Belldandy fell silent for a moment, then continued. "Hasegawa, do you really want me to help you?"
"*sniff* Yes, but…"
"Well, I won't make you tell me something you shouldn't, but… would you close your eyes?"
"*sniff* OK."
Belldandy gazed deeply into Sora's thoughts, replaying the memories of the night before. When Sora felt happy, it filled Belldandy with happiness but soon she heard what it was that Yuichi told her and Sora's own sadness filled her with a cold empty feeling like none she had ever experienced. Making this feeling worse was Belldandy's realization of what she had done to contribute to the situation. She held Sora firmly by the arms and stared directly into her eyes.
"Hasegawa… When did you start getting these allergies? Do you remember?" her tone suggested that this was a point of utmost importance.
"*sniff* Right… *sniff* right after I met you and Kei for lunch, why?"
Belldandy embraced her. Hasegawa felt the slightest bit awkward about this, but Belldandy sounded like she was on the verge of tears, so she hugged her back. "Oh Hasegawa, I am so sorry!" Sora had no idea why her story had such an effect of Belldandy.
"Hasegawa, can you stay for dinner?"
"Uh… Well, no… not… *sniff* not really, I…"
"OK, then!" Belldandy stood up quickly and brought Sora to her feet as well. "In that case I want you to go strait home. Right away! Get some rest, and I promise I will sort this out! Everything will be fine, just go… home… right away. OK?" Belldandy was practically pushing her down the hallway, and seemed desperate that Sora leave immediately. Before she knew it, Sora was standing on the front step, the temple doors closed behind her.
'That was weird.' She thought, just as another sneeze overtook her. She blew her nose and started to make her way home.
--------------------
"Mister Keichi! Mister Keichi!" Belldandy sounded frantic.
"What is it Belldandy?"
"Oh, Mister Keichi! I think I've done something really horrible!"
"Come on Belldandy. You couldn't have done anything that bad… Uh… did you just throw Hasegawa out of the house?"
"Keichi, I think I'm the one who's made Hasegawa so sick! And that's why her heart is breaking!"
"Whoa, whoa… Just… slow down a second. Who's breaking what now? Why don't you start form the beginning?"
But Belldandy already knew that he wouldn't understand unless she revealed to him what Yuichi and Sora both wanted kept secret. "Mister Keichi… can you keep a secret?"
"Sure Bell…"
"I mean really keep it. If you tell anyone you won't just be betraying me, but you will make Hasegawa look like a liar as well. You have to promise me… you have to give me your word you won't ever tell another soul!"
"Uh… OK. I promise."
Belldandy told Keichi the entire story, and while he was a bit surprised when she got to the part about Yuichi's admission, he still didn't seem to understand Belldandy's part. "Don't you remember what I said when we met Hasegawa for lunch? The incantation?"
"Well… you said you wanted Hasegawa to have traits that Asakawa… would… find…" Realization hit Keichi like a brick. "Wow. Ha-ha. Yeah, I guess things did go little wrong there…" He had been afraid of something going awry at the time, but when nothing immediately happened, he let it slip from his mind. "Wait… Did Hasegawa tell you all that?" He was now eyeing her a bit suspiciously.
"I'm so sorry Mister Keichi. No. She didn't. In order to try and help I looked into her thoughts."
"Aaaaah. That explains a lot…"
"She really thinks that the only reason he wanted to go out with her was because he was enjoying her sneezing so much! But, even as hurt as she was, she really likes him! And I don't know how he feels about her! I mean… I could reverse the spell in no time at all but…"
"But you're not sure how that might change things."
"Yes."
"And you don't want to make things worse for her. To leave her wondering if it would have mattered, before they even have a chance to work things out for themselves."
"Oh Mister Keichi, you understand perfectly!"
"Oh boy. I don't really know what to do either. You're sure that Hasegawa really likes him?"
"Oh, yes. That's why it hurt her so much. She didn't know why he was interested in her, and so she grabbed on to the first explanation that made sense to her. Oh, poor Hasegawa."
"And poor Asakawa, if he really likes her. I think I'll try and have a talk with him.
"Oh no, but you mustn't! You can't say anything about…" Belldandy trusted Keichi, but feared that this path was far too risky.
"Don't worry, Belldandy. I won't say anything about… you know. I just want to find out how he really feels. Who knows? Maybe he'll tell me about it himself."
"OK. Just please be careful what you say. He'll think it was Hasegawa who told…"
"Don't worry. I'll be careful."
--------------------
With a little help from Skuld, Keichi got his motorcycle running again, and went to the auto club room to find Asakawa. He was surprised to run into him on the edge of campus instead.
"Asakawa-san?" Keichi called out.
"Morisato-senpai? How are you? Sorry about skipping the club meeting… I didn't know if I should go… I thought it might upset…"
"Hasegawa? Yeah, I know. She came by our place earlier. I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but she was really torn up about something."
"It's all my fault." Yuichi said in a subdued voice with his head hung low. "Everything was going great, and I said something I guess I shouldn't have and screwed everything up."
"Well… what did you tell her?" Keichi didn't really think it would be that easy.
"Uh… ha-ha. I'd rather not say, but let's just say it gave her the totally wrong idea about why I asked her to go out with me."
"Well… if you don't mind me asking… why did you ask her?"
"You too, huh? I know she's really down on herself, and that she's not really popular with the guys, but I can't for the life of me understand why. From the moment I first caught a glimpse of her I was crazy about her. And every word of every conversation we had last night reinforced that feeling. She's so smart, and so interesting, and so… deep. I don't know… I guess that sounds pretty silly. But she's this amazing girl and it's like she just has no idea. I guess that's why she took what I said so badly. She just couldn't understand what I really saw in her. But I… I really care about her."
Keichi looked at the man in front of him and saw a lot of himself, as he was a few years ago, before he met Belldandy. "Look, I can't really tell you how this will all turn out, but if you really like her, you need to tell her. Go to her. Be patient, but don't just let her go. If she wants to reject you that's her business, but it should be for the right reasons and not some misunderstanding. Just go to her."
"Really? I don't know… she was pretty upset…"
"But how else can you make things right? Staying away will only reinforce what she's feeling now. She'll accept that she was rejected, and keep believing that she's no good; that nobody could ever like her."
"You've got a point…"
"So go! Apologize… or whatever. Bring her some flow…" They both started laughing at the same time. "OK… maybe not. But if you really care about her, she needs to know it!"
"Thanks Senpai! I'll give it another try!" With that he was off and Keichi raced back to the temple to tell Belldandy to lift the spell.
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Evening was falling when Yuichi finally knocked on Sora's door. He heard the knob rattle, but a second after the light in the peep-hole went dark he heard the low thump of what sounded like someone putting their head against the door. "Go away." came the quiet voice from the other side.
"No Hasegawa-senpai. I'm not going anywhere. I want you to know that whatever you think happened last night, I never lied to you. I never misled you. From the first moment we met I was crazy about you. Maybe I just let my head get away from me last night, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that when I did. But I can't let you go on thinking that that was the reason I asked you out. I… I care about you too much to let you think that. You're a great girl, Hasegawa-senpai. You're cute, and intelligent and interesting... You like cars as much as I do (not many girls you can say that about!) But don't you see? There are a thousand things I like about you! I don't know why you are so hard on yourself, and I'm sure I don't see the same thing as you when I look at you… When I look at you all I see is this painfully cute girl that gets me all tongue-tied and nervous. I don't care… if you want me to go away I will. I'll even quit the club if that will make you happy. I just… need you to know… how I feel."
She cracked the door open. "But why? How? There's nothing special about me. If I hadn't sneezed around you the first time we met, how do I know you still would have…" He started laughing. "Hey! What's so funny now?! I thought you were coming here to apologize or something!"
"Ha-ha. I'm sorry Hasegawa… Ha… it's just that you didn't sneeze the first time we met. Don't you remember? You didn't… until I asked you out, after lunch, in the afternoon. I remember because… well I remember that being the first time I saw you… you know… But we met in the morning? Remember?"
Suddenly Sore felt as if she'd been splashed with cold water. She opened the door the rest of the way. "Oh my God… You're right! Oh my God! Asakawa-san, I'm so sorry! Oh man! Now I'm the one who messed everything up! I'm so stu…"
"Hey… hey… It's OK." He reached up and brushed a tear off of her cheek with his thumb. He could not believe how beautiful she was. "You… uh… seem to be feeling better, by the way."
Now it was Sora's turn to laugh a little. "Yeah. Ha-ha. Well… whatever came over me yesterday seems to have left as mysteriously as it came. So yeah… all… all cleared up now. Do you… still want… to…"
"Hasegawa, I told you before that had nothing to do with it! Of course I still want to go out with you!" He wanted to kiss her but stopped short as he was struck by an unfamiliar glint in her eye.
Sora had no idea where her confidence was coming from and was positive the sly voice she was hearing her couldn't be her own. "You know…I might be feeling better but… if you wanted to… we could still… maybe… experiment a little…?" Asakawa saw that she was rolling a small vial of white powder between her fingers. He didn't recognize it at first, but was hit with a wave of profound embarrassment once it registered what she was holding.
"Where… uh… where did you get that?" He asked, smiling nervously.
"Oh… I found it between the cushions of the couch. I assume it fell out of your jacket pocket last night. Is this… what I… think it is?"
"Ha-ha… yeah… uh… it is, but… well… you see… uh… someone gave me that a long time ago…. I mean I didn't even know I still… please don't think…."
"Shhhhhhh…." She put her index finger on his mouth as took him by the hand and slowly led him inside, eager to pick up where they'd left off the night before.
TO BE CONCLUDED: Part Three - Ah! I Finally Understand! COMING SOON!
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Kosuke Fujishima
Part 2 of 3: This is a continuation of Ah! I'm Going to Sneeze!
"I'm sorry you didn't have such a good time tonight…" Yuichi started.
"No! I should apologize! I'm the one who ruined everything!" Sora interrupted, sounding almost on the verge of tears.
Yuichi laughed for almost a minute strait. "Are you kidding? I had a great time! Actually I…" He stopped abruptly, still smiling, but whatever else he was going to say he kept to himself. He looked directly into her eyes. His gaze was intense. Sora had never seen anyone look at her like that before. He put his hand to her cheek.
"What…" but she couldn't finish her question. He leaned forward and their lips met. Her eyes closed and, as if on auto-pilot, her hands found their way to his back. For a moment she could feel nothing else in the entire world except for the warmth that was filling up inside of her. Then she became aware of something else. Her eyes shot open.
"Wait…" she whispered.
"Why?" He asked.
"I have… to… snee… HAAAAT-SHOOO! (*squeak*)"
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Sora opened her eyes. Her face was cradled in Yuichi's gentle hand. Her hands, which she had intended to cover up with, were pressed against the outside of his. The realization of what she'd done horrified her - 'I. just. Sneezed. Into. His. Hand.' The thought made her wish she could vanish into thin air on the spot. She waited and braced herself for his disgust… his rejection. In a few seconds she knew she would start to cry. But that disgust never came.
Yuichi gently raised her face up, so she was looking into his kind and loving eyes. She was lost for a moment in those eyes. They grew bigger, as he leaned forward and their lips met again. Inside her it felt like that sad, frightened girl was now only a distant memory. She was filled body and soul by a warmth that felt as foreign to her as confidence. Her hand found its way to the back of his head. She had no idea how. She was holding him so tightly she was almost afraid she'd crush him. Then she held him even tighter as she fumbled for the doorknob with her other hand.
Of course the door was locked and they had to stop kissing so the she could fish the key out of her purse and unlock the door. Neither said a word, each looking at the other with shy smiles and nervous laughter. She took him by the hand and led him inside.
Once they were inside, her nervousness returned. She felt so good just seconds ago, what had happened? She didn't know what to say, or how to get back to where they just were; where she so much wanted to return to. She turned to say something… What? She didn't know. Offer him a cup of coffee, maybe? Did she even have any? It didn't matter. As she turned, he was right there and she was in his arms. He kissed her again, and the nervousness vanished. In her entire life she had never felt this happy. She had never felt this loved.
Somehow she found herself sitting on the sofa. Their lips pressed against one another. She could feel his hands, one on the back of her head, the other on her side. She could feel its warmth against her ribcage. Her heart was pounding. His hand moved ever so slightly. His thumb and index finger pressed against her, just beneath one of her small breasts. Voices of insecurity tried to speak, but only in whispers now. She wasn't even aware of where her hands were. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted him to take her. But she was brought back to awkward reality as a now familiar tickle crept into her nose.
"Wait…" She whispered. He was still kissing her.
"huh…?" He stopped, looking into her eyes through the glasses that magnified them.
"Hafta… sn… eeze… hup-*chew*!" She hated that high-pitched squeak. But when she looked back he was smiling, almost laughing, so she did the same. "I'm sorry. Must still be some cat hair or something from the party."
"It's OK," he whispered back. "You look so cute that way. I… I think you're really beautiful."
She could feel her face getting flushed. "You must say th-that a… lot… th-then… hup-*chew*!" She had turned away in time and when she faced him again, he dabbed the sides of her nose with a tissue.
"Now, now," he continued in a whisper. "I don't say that a lot and I do mean it. I don't know what you think about yourself, but I think you are beautiful."
"Even wh-when… hang on…" her eyes narrowed and she turned to the side again taking in a long sharp breath. "hup-*chew*! Even when I can't stop sneezing, and my nose is running like a faucet? Thanks, by the way." She nodded at the tissue in his hand.
"Especially when…" He cut himself off in mid sentence and remained silent for a moment longer. "Hasegawa… I really want to tell you something, but I don't know how you'll take it."
"*sniff* What is it?" She whispered, concerned that he was about to tell her something dreadful. Did he already have a girlfriend? Was he just not interested in her that way? The whispers of insecurity were screaming now. She sat up, and looked at him intently.
"I… ah… Oh boy, this is awkward." Cleary something was really bothering him.
Sora was as much surprised that she could even make such a great guy feel awkward as she was nervous about what he was about to tell her. She felt cold. She could no longer feel any trace of the warmth that had filled her just moments ago. She braced herself for the worst, leaned forward and whispered "You can tell me. It's OK."
He took a deep breath. "When I said 'especially' just now… Well… you see, I really meant that. When I said you were beautiful I really meant that and… when I said you were cute when you sneezed… well… I meant that too. In particular… I really like the way you look, and sound… when you… sneeze."
She sat bolt upright and stared at him, clearly confused. "Wait… What are you talking about? What do you mean? Like you have some kind of a sneezing fetish or something?" She wasn't sure where this voice was coming from. Was she angry? She wasn't sure. Didn't she really like him? Didn't he make her happy? Does what he just said really change anything?
"Well… yeah." He wasn't looking at her anymore.
She didn't feel so good now. Her old voice was back, filled with rejection and disappointment. If she had been flying before, she was clearly on the ground now. "So… that's the reason you came home with me? That's really why you're here, isn't it?" She sounded ashamed.
"No! No, that's not it at all! I really like you, I…" But he could tell she didn't believe him.
She wanted to believe him, but how could she? She didn't believe in herself. She had been bothered by a single thought all night, the only imperfection aside from these mysterious allergies that kept bothering her: Why? Why did he pick me? How could he like someone like me? How could he possibly find someone like me attractive? And now she thought she had her answer. It wasn't her at all; just her sneezing. "I think you should go now." She said in a sad whisper, fighting back the inevitable tears.
Now his heart raced. He wasn't sure how she would take it, but he hadn't expected it to go nearly this badly. "Hasegawa… I…" But he really had no idea what to say.
"Just *sniff* go." She could feel the tickle creeping up her nose again, and was determined not to sneeze in front of him again - ever, if she could manage it. In her long, pathetic life, she had never felt this humiliated.
"OK… I'm going… I'm… I'm so sorry." He walked out, with his head hung low.
Sora felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come. She had just thrown the only guy that ever liked her out of her apartment. But, she thought, he didn't like her. Not really. She'd tried to remember if she'd been sneezing when they first met. She must have been, she thought. That's the only reason he asked me to go to that party. She walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water before going to bed. She'd forgotten about the roses on the table.
"hup-*chew*! AAAAAAAH!" She was furious now. At him. At herself. She threw the roses in the trash, sunk to the floor beside the trash can and the tears finally came. She sobbed openly for a long while. She couldn't even remember getting into bed.
--------------------
Sora woke up the next day feeling completely miserable. Her eyes were puffy from crying the night before and her nose had still not stopped running. Her clock-radio turned on at eight O'clock and she only heard the newsman say "…POLLEN COUNT…" before her hand hitting the snooze button.
"*sniiiiifff* Ugh. I don't even want to know." It was Saturday and, while she didn't have any classes, the auto club was still meeting. There was a big race coming up and they needed to draw up a work schedule for what they had left to do on the car. She got dressed and dragged her feet to the door. As soon as she'd opened it, she knew she'd forgotten something.
"hup-*chew*! *sniiiiiif* Ugh. Tissues. Need tissues."
She sneezed several times waiting for the bus. She looked a wreck and was vaguely aware of the other people trying not to get too close to her. The bus ride was uneventful, but the walk across campus was too much. She'd sneezed so many times that the single pocket pack of tissues was almost gone by the time she reached the club room. Thankfully, the air conditioning was working. She sat and put her head down on the table.
"Hey, Hasegawa," A deep booming voice called from above her. "You look terrible!"
Well at least some men can be honest, she thought. She looked up into Tamiya's hulking silhouette. "*sniiiif* ugh. I have bad allergies today."
"Oh. I thought you were sick or something. It looks like Asakawa-san's sick anyway – he didn't show! You heard from him?"
Thank god for small favors, she thought. "I have… hang on… haaaahp-*chew*! …no idea where he is."
"Well… if you want to, you should go get some rest. You look like you really need it."
So the big lug did care, she thought to herself. Of course she was only being noticed for looking particularly awful this morning, but at least he noticed. "Yeah, I might." On the way out the door, she bumped into Megumi, her friend Keichi's younger sister.
"Hasegawa – you look…"
"Terrible, I know. I… hang on… hup-*chew*! I'm having bad allergies today."
"Wow. You must have it really bad! Do you need any more tissues? I have a spare pack in my purse."
"*sniiif* Thanks, Megumi. Hey… can I… talk to you for a minute… in private?" She'd never confided in Megumi before, but if she was anything like Keichi, Sora knew she'd understand. Plus, being a girl, she would be easier to talk to about something like this.
Sora told her everything that had happened, leaving out the bit about Yuichi's fetish. As angry as she was, she didn't think it would be right to share what he obviously considered a secret. She just said he told her something that made her feel a bit used, but refused to tell Megumi anymore.
"Wow." Megumi sat quiet for a moment while she absorbed what had happened. "Well… first off you two really need to talk. Guys can say dumb things sometimes (just look at Keichi) and you may have just taken it wrong. Besides – he did say you were pretty, didn't he?"
"No – beautiful." She answered, sarcastically. "So… I mean, come on… how…"
"Hasegawa," Megumi took her hand up in both of her own. "You are a cute girl. You…" But she could see Sora wasn't with her.
"*sniff* Do I looked attractive to you at all right now?"
"OK. No. Not right now. Right now you look a wreck!" Megumi laughed a little, and Hasegawa cracked a smiled, before blowing her nose. "You know what? You might be surprised to learn this, but guys don't all go for the same thing, you know! Those guys that are always hanging off of Sayoko? Or the ones chasing the new freshman girl? What's her name… Asako? Would you even want any of them? I mean they obviously have no taste!" Now Hasegawa was laughing a little, feeling glad that she decided to open up to Megumi. "Look at me? Do you think I'm ugly? Well all those guys aren't chasing me around either, but do I care? No way. I know there's a guy or two out there who can't take his eyes off me, and Sora – there's a few out there for you too. You really are cute. Just not in the same was as all those girls you think are so hot are! Talk it out with him. I bet this is just a misunderstanding. The way you said he looked at you at the club meeting yesterday... there was something there. If you weren't so down on yourself all the time you'd have realized that." Seeing that Sora was still down on herself, Megumi had one other idea. "All right, I'll tell you what… If you don't want to take my advice, why don't you talk to Belldandy? I won't be offended. And you know she's not going to lie to you. But if she says the same thing I did, promise me you'll take our advice."
Sora blew her nose again and though itchy eyes looked back at Megumi's encouraging smile. "Thanks Megumi. OK. I don't know what I'd say… But maybe I will try to talk it out with him. I don't know. Maybe talking to Belldandy first would still be a good idea… But, thanks. You really we're a big help"
Just clean yourself up a little and take a pill before you go talk to him, Megumi thought to herself, waving to Sora as she left.
--------------------
Sora made the trip over to the temple where Keichi and Belldandy lived in relative misery. The bus was running behind, and waiting at the bus stop she was helpless to suppress her sneezing or do anything about her runny nose. By the time the bus came she was glad for the extra pack of tissues Megumi gave her. Her's were all gone and the air conditioning on the bus was broken, so all the windows were open. About the only saving grace, Sora thought to herself, was that, as much as she was sneezing and sniffling, no one wanted to sit near her so she had most of the bench to herself. The closest bus stop was only two blocks from the temple, but for Sora it was a long trek anyway. She never noticed how much landscaping the residents and businesses in this part of town had done, but her nose was painfully aware it as every fragrant hedge she passed seemed to set her off in force. At last she reached the temple, and knocked on the door. She was met by Keichi.
"Hasegawa, you look terrible!"
It was the third time she'd been told that that day, but she barely noticed. She said that to herself almost every day, so why should today be any different? "Kei! How come you're not down at the club house?"
"Uh… yeah… my bike's acting up today, so I'm running behind. I'd take the bus but at this point I'm pretty sure I'd miss the meeting anyway. But hey! Please, come on in! Sit down. Can I get you some tea, or something? Maybe… some… tissues?"
"That would be great, thanks. Listen, I'm sorry to come over out of the blue like this but… hang on…hup-*CHEW*! Oooh… My nose! Anyway, is Belldandy around? I really need to talk to her."
"Sure, I'll get her… Are you… OK?"
"N-no…" She started, but her breath suddenly stopped cooperating. "hup-*CHEW*! *sniff* No, not really. I talked to Megumi earlier, and she thought Belldandy might be able to give me some advice." Sora tried wait for Keichi to leave before blowing her nose but, of course, he poked his head in to ask how she wanted her tea just as she was in mid-blow. "Just plain, please."
Belldandy came in shortly, bringing a couple of cups of tea with her. "Oh Hasegawa, you poor thing! Is there anything I can do for you?"
At least she didn't feel the need to comment on my horrid appearance, Sora thought. She told Belldandy what had happened the night before, again stopping short of revealing Asakawa's secret, just as she had with Megumi. She had hoped that Belldandy would know exactly what to tell her, but instead she just looked Confused.
"Well… I'm not really sure what to say. It sounded like you were having such a wonderful time, until whatever it was that he said to you. But, if it was something really awful… Are you sure you can't tell me?"
"It wasn't awful. Not really. I just couldn't figure out why he was interested in me, and then… well… what he said kind of explained it and… I felt like he didn't really like me at all… hang on… excuse me… hup-*CHEW*!"
"I still can't imagine what he could have told you…" Belldandy fell silent for a moment, then continued. "Hasegawa, do you really want me to help you?"
"*sniff* Yes, but…"
"Well, I won't make you tell me something you shouldn't, but… would you close your eyes?"
"*sniff* OK."
Belldandy gazed deeply into Sora's thoughts, replaying the memories of the night before. When Sora felt happy, it filled Belldandy with happiness but soon she heard what it was that Yuichi told her and Sora's own sadness filled her with a cold empty feeling like none she had ever experienced. Making this feeling worse was Belldandy's realization of what she had done to contribute to the situation. She held Sora firmly by the arms and stared directly into her eyes.
"Hasegawa… When did you start getting these allergies? Do you remember?" her tone suggested that this was a point of utmost importance.
"*sniff* Right… *sniff* right after I met you and Kei for lunch, why?"
Belldandy embraced her. Hasegawa felt the slightest bit awkward about this, but Belldandy sounded like she was on the verge of tears, so she hugged her back. "Oh Hasegawa, I am so sorry!" Sora had no idea why her story had such an effect of Belldandy.
"Hasegawa, can you stay for dinner?"
"Uh… Well, no… not… *sniff* not really, I…"
"OK, then!" Belldandy stood up quickly and brought Sora to her feet as well. "In that case I want you to go strait home. Right away! Get some rest, and I promise I will sort this out! Everything will be fine, just go… home… right away. OK?" Belldandy was practically pushing her down the hallway, and seemed desperate that Sora leave immediately. Before she knew it, Sora was standing on the front step, the temple doors closed behind her.
'That was weird.' She thought, just as another sneeze overtook her. She blew her nose and started to make her way home.
--------------------
"Mister Keichi! Mister Keichi!" Belldandy sounded frantic.
"What is it Belldandy?"
"Oh, Mister Keichi! I think I've done something really horrible!"
"Come on Belldandy. You couldn't have done anything that bad… Uh… did you just throw Hasegawa out of the house?"
"Keichi, I think I'm the one who's made Hasegawa so sick! And that's why her heart is breaking!"
"Whoa, whoa… Just… slow down a second. Who's breaking what now? Why don't you start form the beginning?"
But Belldandy already knew that he wouldn't understand unless she revealed to him what Yuichi and Sora both wanted kept secret. "Mister Keichi… can you keep a secret?"
"Sure Bell…"
"I mean really keep it. If you tell anyone you won't just be betraying me, but you will make Hasegawa look like a liar as well. You have to promise me… you have to give me your word you won't ever tell another soul!"
"Uh… OK. I promise."
Belldandy told Keichi the entire story, and while he was a bit surprised when she got to the part about Yuichi's admission, he still didn't seem to understand Belldandy's part. "Don't you remember what I said when we met Hasegawa for lunch? The incantation?"
"Well… you said you wanted Hasegawa to have traits that Asakawa… would… find…" Realization hit Keichi like a brick. "Wow. Ha-ha. Yeah, I guess things did go little wrong there…" He had been afraid of something going awry at the time, but when nothing immediately happened, he let it slip from his mind. "Wait… Did Hasegawa tell you all that?" He was now eyeing her a bit suspiciously.
"I'm so sorry Mister Keichi. No. She didn't. In order to try and help I looked into her thoughts."
"Aaaaah. That explains a lot…"
"She really thinks that the only reason he wanted to go out with her was because he was enjoying her sneezing so much! But, even as hurt as she was, she really likes him! And I don't know how he feels about her! I mean… I could reverse the spell in no time at all but…"
"But you're not sure how that might change things."
"Yes."
"And you don't want to make things worse for her. To leave her wondering if it would have mattered, before they even have a chance to work things out for themselves."
"Oh Mister Keichi, you understand perfectly!"
"Oh boy. I don't really know what to do either. You're sure that Hasegawa really likes him?"
"Oh, yes. That's why it hurt her so much. She didn't know why he was interested in her, and so she grabbed on to the first explanation that made sense to her. Oh, poor Hasegawa."
"And poor Asakawa, if he really likes her. I think I'll try and have a talk with him.
"Oh no, but you mustn't! You can't say anything about…" Belldandy trusted Keichi, but feared that this path was far too risky.
"Don't worry, Belldandy. I won't say anything about… you know. I just want to find out how he really feels. Who knows? Maybe he'll tell me about it himself."
"OK. Just please be careful what you say. He'll think it was Hasegawa who told…"
"Don't worry. I'll be careful."
--------------------
With a little help from Skuld, Keichi got his motorcycle running again, and went to the auto club room to find Asakawa. He was surprised to run into him on the edge of campus instead.
"Asakawa-san?" Keichi called out.
"Morisato-senpai? How are you? Sorry about skipping the club meeting… I didn't know if I should go… I thought it might upset…"
"Hasegawa? Yeah, I know. She came by our place earlier. I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but she was really torn up about something."
"It's all my fault." Yuichi said in a subdued voice with his head hung low. "Everything was going great, and I said something I guess I shouldn't have and screwed everything up."
"Well… what did you tell her?" Keichi didn't really think it would be that easy.
"Uh… ha-ha. I'd rather not say, but let's just say it gave her the totally wrong idea about why I asked her to go out with me."
"Well… if you don't mind me asking… why did you ask her?"
"You too, huh? I know she's really down on herself, and that she's not really popular with the guys, but I can't for the life of me understand why. From the moment I first caught a glimpse of her I was crazy about her. And every word of every conversation we had last night reinforced that feeling. She's so smart, and so interesting, and so… deep. I don't know… I guess that sounds pretty silly. But she's this amazing girl and it's like she just has no idea. I guess that's why she took what I said so badly. She just couldn't understand what I really saw in her. But I… I really care about her."
Keichi looked at the man in front of him and saw a lot of himself, as he was a few years ago, before he met Belldandy. "Look, I can't really tell you how this will all turn out, but if you really like her, you need to tell her. Go to her. Be patient, but don't just let her go. If she wants to reject you that's her business, but it should be for the right reasons and not some misunderstanding. Just go to her."
"Really? I don't know… she was pretty upset…"
"But how else can you make things right? Staying away will only reinforce what she's feeling now. She'll accept that she was rejected, and keep believing that she's no good; that nobody could ever like her."
"You've got a point…"
"So go! Apologize… or whatever. Bring her some flow…" They both started laughing at the same time. "OK… maybe not. But if you really care about her, she needs to know it!"
"Thanks Senpai! I'll give it another try!" With that he was off and Keichi raced back to the temple to tell Belldandy to lift the spell.
--------------------
Evening was falling when Yuichi finally knocked on Sora's door. He heard the knob rattle, but a second after the light in the peep-hole went dark he heard the low thump of what sounded like someone putting their head against the door. "Go away." came the quiet voice from the other side.
"No Hasegawa-senpai. I'm not going anywhere. I want you to know that whatever you think happened last night, I never lied to you. I never misled you. From the first moment we met I was crazy about you. Maybe I just let my head get away from me last night, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that when I did. But I can't let you go on thinking that that was the reason I asked you out. I… I care about you too much to let you think that. You're a great girl, Hasegawa-senpai. You're cute, and intelligent and interesting... You like cars as much as I do (not many girls you can say that about!) But don't you see? There are a thousand things I like about you! I don't know why you are so hard on yourself, and I'm sure I don't see the same thing as you when I look at you… When I look at you all I see is this painfully cute girl that gets me all tongue-tied and nervous. I don't care… if you want me to go away I will. I'll even quit the club if that will make you happy. I just… need you to know… how I feel."
She cracked the door open. "But why? How? There's nothing special about me. If I hadn't sneezed around you the first time we met, how do I know you still would have…" He started laughing. "Hey! What's so funny now?! I thought you were coming here to apologize or something!"
"Ha-ha. I'm sorry Hasegawa… Ha… it's just that you didn't sneeze the first time we met. Don't you remember? You didn't… until I asked you out, after lunch, in the afternoon. I remember because… well I remember that being the first time I saw you… you know… But we met in the morning? Remember?"
Suddenly Sore felt as if she'd been splashed with cold water. She opened the door the rest of the way. "Oh my God… You're right! Oh my God! Asakawa-san, I'm so sorry! Oh man! Now I'm the one who messed everything up! I'm so stu…"
"Hey… hey… It's OK." He reached up and brushed a tear off of her cheek with his thumb. He could not believe how beautiful she was. "You… uh… seem to be feeling better, by the way."
Now it was Sora's turn to laugh a little. "Yeah. Ha-ha. Well… whatever came over me yesterday seems to have left as mysteriously as it came. So yeah… all… all cleared up now. Do you… still want… to…"
"Hasegawa, I told you before that had nothing to do with it! Of course I still want to go out with you!" He wanted to kiss her but stopped short as he was struck by an unfamiliar glint in her eye.
Sora had no idea where her confidence was coming from and was positive the sly voice she was hearing her couldn't be her own. "You know…I might be feeling better but… if you wanted to… we could still… maybe… experiment a little…?" Asakawa saw that she was rolling a small vial of white powder between her fingers. He didn't recognize it at first, but was hit with a wave of profound embarrassment once it registered what she was holding.
"Where… uh… where did you get that?" He asked, smiling nervously.
"Oh… I found it between the cushions of the couch. I assume it fell out of your jacket pocket last night. Is this… what I… think it is?"
"Ha-ha… yeah… uh… it is, but… well… you see… uh… someone gave me that a long time ago…. I mean I didn't even know I still… please don't think…."
"Shhhhhhh…." She put her index finger on his mouth as took him by the hand and slowly led him inside, eager to pick up where they'd left off the night before.
TO BE CONCLUDED: Part Three - Ah! I Finally Understand! COMING SOON!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Chii Gets an Allergy (Chobits, ~18+)
A Chobits fanfic
Setting and all non-original charecters property of CLAMP
WARNING: THIS IS SLIGHTLY 18+ IN PLACES
They had discovered it weeks ago – the CHOBITS. They could hardly believe there eyes, but there she was. Walking down the street with a Hokkaido farm boy no less! There was no mistaking her features. They’d seen the picture a hundred times on “urban legend” websites: the beautiful but sad looking girl suspended in mid air by hundreds of wires, “HOBITS” visible on her thigh. (One of them actually used that picture for the wallpaper on his PC's desktop.) And here she was! The thing that finally dispelled all doubt, eliminating the possibly that some clever persocom manufacturer had simply produced a model that looked like the legendary CHOBITS, came when they tried to use there wireless transmitter to hack it her, just the be sure. The persocom they networked through was fried beyond repair. There was no doubt – this was the real deal: The self-aware, fully independent persocom; the urban legend that could think, feel and do everything else as if they were human. They had to get a hold of her AI. They would be rich.
A chuckle came from the dark room that was half mad-scientist and half manga-otaku. Hirofumi Sakai had done it. His latest masterpiece was finished. “A custom virus, for a custom persocom!” he declared to himself. He called for his twin brother, Hiroaki.
“Is it done yet?” Hiroaki asked in an almost bored tone.
“Abso-mundo brother of mine! And it’s a beauty!” Hirofumi’s exuberance was more than a little grating.
“What does it do?” the more serious of the two brother’s asked.
“It makes them sneeze!” the louder of the two replied.
“That’s it?”
“Oh come on brother of mine! You wanted me to write the decoy code right? Well, man, what could be better? I mean it’s not like persocom’s ever do that on there own! That farm boy will know something wrong, but he’ll be totally chasing the wrong thing!”
“I suppose it will work.” Hiroaki replied, careful not to overly encourage his brother, whose ego was already excessive, in his opinion. “I’ve finished mine part as well. As long as they keep trying to deal with your obnoxious prank, they’ll never notice my subtle little program slowly undermining all of her security protocols.”
“Obnoxious is what I do best brother of mine!”
“Now that’s something we agree on.” Hiroaki was amazed at his brother’s ability to both annoy and amuse him at the same time.
“We’re going to be rich, aren’t we man?” It was the first serious thing Hirofumi had said or asked all night.
“Yes… If we play our cards right, we will do quite well. Are you ready to transmit?”
“Ready, willing and able, dude!”
“Then proceed with the upload, and be careful.”
“Hey man, I’m always careful!”
“Hmpf.” But Hiroaki had to admit to himself that however irritating Hirofumi’s enthusiasm could be, his brother did always manage to escape detection. How that could be the case he had no idea, but of the two it was the more outspoken Hirofumi who always seemed to get away with everything.
--------------------
Hideki Motosuwa woke up late. Thankfully, being Golden Week, he didn’t have cram school classes and, having moved off the farm, didn’t have any chores to do or rice to plant or harvest either. As he sat up on his futon and gazed into the morning sun he looked forward to a week off, even if he did have to do a little studying to catch up.
“HAAAArchoo!” He sneezed loudly into the crook of his elbow, waking his persocom, Chii. As she sat up, rather than saying ‘Good Morning’ right away, she remained quiet watching Hideki with intense curiosity. He was still waiting for the second sneeze – whenever he was photic, they always came in pairs. He sat there with his arm raised, and his eyes half closed. This one was being stubborn.
“Haah… aaah… HAHAAARchoo! Man I have got to get some window shades. Or something. Oh! Good morning Chii!”
“Chii. Good Morning Hideki. Hideki… hah…ah…hatchoo!” Hideki was surprised, and more than a little bit aroused, by Chii’s sneeze, which was about the cutest, most kawaii sneeze he’d ever heard. Since it had sounded somewhat like his own, he assumed that Chii was merely imitating him, and thought he should probably explain what just happened to her, as he so often needed to. “Hideki has energy this morning!” Chii continued, pointing directly at his crotch.
“Ack!” He spun around, putting his back to her. He was pretty sure that most guys woke up somewhat… aroused, but it was still embarrassing to have it pointed out to him! “Um… yeah… Right... ha-ha.” After calming down he turned around to explain to his persocom what had just happened.
“Chii? That was called sneezing.”
“Sneezing?” Chii asked, in the curious tone she often used when Hideki was explaining new things to her.
“Yes, people do that when they’re sick, or when something bother’s there nose. When you here some do that, it is polite to say ‘God bless you.’”
“God bless you. Hideki… hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you!” again with the world’s cutest sneeze, Hideki thought to himself. “hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you!”
“Chii… are you OK? You don’t have to…”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you! Chii keeps sneezing. hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless…”
“You don’t have to say that after you sneeze; only when you hear someone else do it. When you sneeze you could say ‘Excuse me.’”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you Chii! But… why are you sneezing? Do persocoms get sick?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! No, Chii’s not sick. hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Too much dust in Hideki’s room. Hideki has more energy!” Chii declared happily, again pointing at his crotch.
“Aaaah!” Hideki quickly got dressed, putting on some jeans. He found it so unnerving when she pointed that out. What he found even more unnerving was the effect that Chii’s sneeze was having on him. No wonder he had so much “energy,” as she put it, that cute, girly, kawaii little sneeze was just too much! He wasn’t sure if anyone else would get so turned on by it, and it embarrassed him more than a little, but it was just so cute!
“Chii… I’m glad you’re not sick, but… What do you mean too much dust?” Hideki, being a young single male did have a bit of a dusty room, but it had never bothered either of them before. “Are you allergic to dust?” He felt uncomfortable even asking.
“Allergic? hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you! Allergic is when… well, I guess it’s when something bothers your nose, and makes you sneeze.” Hideki simplified the explanation to increase the likelihood that Chii would understand. Also, he felt extremely uncomfortable discussing allergies, even with a persocom, considering the effect that their effects had on him.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Yes… Chii’s aller… aller… al… hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dust.” Chii’s sneezy, wavering voice as she tried to talking through an impending sneeze made Hideki's pulse race. He could not get over how cute she was, and how helpless she appeared. As Hideki adjusted himself, regretting his choice of such a tight pair of jeans, he thought that it might be a good idea to clean up a little. And even though he didn’t really understand much about computers, this morning’s events did seem strange enough that he thought he’d ask his friend Shinbo, from down the hall, about it. Shinbo knew a lot more about computers than Hideki did.
--------------------
* Knock *
“Hey Shinbo! Are you awake?”
His friend opened the door, looking like he’d been not only awake, but busy for some time. “Yeah I’m awake! It’s 10:00, did you just get up?”
“Ha-ha… yeah… I guess I slept in a little. Hey… I think there’s a problem with Chii. Do you think you could have a look at her?” (Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! )
“Sure! What’s wrong with her?”
(AAAAH!) Hideki relayed the events of the morning, hoping his friend wouldn’t notice his increasingly bent over posture as he told the story. ‘I have got to change out of these pants!’ he thought to himself.
“Huh. That is strange. She said she was… allergic?”
‘Stop saying that word!’ Hideki thought to himself.
“I’ve never heard of a persocom being allergic…”
‘AAAH! Stop saying that WORD!’ Hideki thought again, his jeans getting increasingly uncomfortable.
“So I don’t think she could really be allergic…”
‘FOR THE LOVE OF BUDDHA, CHRIST AND MUHHAMAD WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT WORD!!!’ Hideki screamed in his mind, sure that he was getting red-faced by now.
“It’s probably a weird computer virus of some kind. Most likely just a stupid prank. Does she have anti-virus software? Is it up to date?”
The blank look on Hideki’s face was answer enough. “Huh? I’ve never installed any software on Chii, remember?”
“Yeah… That’s right. And based on what we’ve seen of her internal security software, I’m surprised any thing could infect her. All the same, you should get yourself some decent anti-virus software.”
“Is it expensive?” Hideki asked in a depressed tone.
“You bet!” Shinbo beamed, as he always did when giving Hideki bad news.
*sigh* Hideki hung his head. His pants fit perfectly now.
--------------------
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!” Chii sneezed several times as Shinbo checked her out, not that he could do much – the only time he’d hooked his mini-persocom, Sumomo, to Chii it took the rest of the weekend to get Sumomo working again. Hideki went to put on some baggier pants.
“Chii… can you run a virus scan?” He asked, but Chii just looked at him confused.
Hideki returned just as Chii sneezed again. “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Virus scan?”
Sumomo climbed out of Shinbo’s backpack and jumped down in front of Chii “It is polite to cover your nose and mouth whenever you sneeze!” she declared in her typical, highly cheerful voice.
“Cover… hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Cover Chii’s nose and mouth?”
“Yes, like this… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” Little Sumomo was doubled over by the force of her sneeze, her pudgy arms reaching up to cover her nose and mouth with both hands. Shinbo though her demonstration was pretty funny. Hideki was thankful for the loose fitting pants.
“Sumomo… Bless you!” Chii offered. The sight of one persocom sneezing while another blessed had Shinbo almost laughing out loud. Hideki wondered if anyone could appreciate the scene the way that he did.
“Sumomo, can you run a search and see if you can find anything out about a new computer virus that acts this way?”
“Ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! HAI!”
Shinbo was surprised to here his mini-persocom sneeze again. He’d assumed the first one was only for demonstration purposes. He kept a cautious eye on her as she ran the search.
“No!” Sumomo finally yelled, enthusiastically. “No reported viruses match th.. th… thi… tha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! …this description!” Sumomo then went over to Shinbo’s backpack and started rummaging around inside with only her legs sticking out. She came out holding a tissue that was big enough for the diminutive persocom to use for a bed sheet. She held it to her face and made a sound as if she was blowing her nose.
“What was that all about?” Hideki asked, taken totally off guard by Sumomo’s behavior.
“I don’t know.” Shinbo answered, somewhat confused himself. “What’s the deal Sumomo?”
“It’s important to blow your nose to expel irritants and clear congestion!” Sumomo declared cheerfully.
Chii took the tissue from Sumomo and did the same. It was so cute, Hideki couldn’t stand it.
“WARNING! WARNING!” cried Sumomo. “It is unsanitary to use the same tissue as another person!”
Had he not been so concerned for both his own persocom and Chii, Shinbo would have laughed. “OK. I’m going to take her home so she can rest and then I’ll come back to check out Chii a little more.” Shinbo wasn’t sure if bed rest would benefit a persocom, but he was out of ideas, and if Sumomo did get the virus, it was apparently beyond the software he’d installed anyway. Shinbo left Sumomo in the care of Kotoko, another mini-persocom that he and Hideki “liberated” from a hacker known as “Dragonfly,” and went back to Hideki’s room. After a few more attempts yielded no information, he suggested they go see Minoru Kokubunji. Minoru was a child prodigy who designed and built custom persocoms. If anyone could figure this out, he could.
--------------------
Back in Shinbo’s room, Sumomo made a make-shift futon out of a washcloth and lay down to “get some rest.” The much more serious and practical Kotoko, who Shinbo instructed to ‘take care of Sumomo,’ just look annoyed.
“What are you doing?” She asked in a disapproving tone.
“I’m getting rest!” Sumomo declared.
“Why do you need rest? Just plug in and recharge your battery.”
“I’m si… si… sa… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! I’m sick.” The little persocom said in a much more subdued tone.
“You are so impractical! You are not sick. Persocoms don’t get sick.”
Sumomo, lying on her back, pulled the top fold of the washcloth up to her chin, as if she was shivering and needed a blanket. “I have a cold. I n-nee… nee… na… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! …need rest.” She then leaned over to grab a tissue out of the box sitting nearby.
“What are you doing now?!” Kotoko demanded.
After holding the tissue to her face and making the same ‘blowing your nose’ sound as before, she explained, once again using her more cheerful voice. “It’s important to blow your nose to expel irritants and clear congestion!” Then she went back to looking pathetic and lying in bed.
“You’re so ridiculous. You’re on your own. I have work to do.” After several failed attempts by Sumomo to elicit sympathy from her appointed caretaker, she finally decided to ‘get some rest’ for real and switched into standby mode.
As Shinbo and Hideki walked with Chii over to Minoru Kokubunji’s house, their conversation centered (as usual) on computers and persocoms.
“So these viruses… they can go from persocom to persocom?” Hideki asked.
“Yes and no.” Shinbo started. “Normally persocoms don’t connect to each other wirelessly, at least not automatically, so unless they’re actively transferring data, the virus won’t transfer either.
“But Sumomo wasn’t hooked up to Chii…”
“I know. After last time, both Sumomo and I know not to try that again. And if the virus did transfer wirelessly, why didn’t Kotoko get it when I left Sumomo with her? I only stayed for a minute or two, but Sumomo seemed to get it from Chii right away.”
“Yeah… sorry about that.”
“You’ll pay for it.” Shinbo said casually, knowing Hideki was broke.
“Bastard.” Hideki shot back, knowing his friend knew he was broke.
“You know it!”
As they made their way through the crowded city, they began to notice other persocoms acting the same way that Chii did. And each time their owners would react as if they had never seen this type of thing before. What’s more Chii’s condition seemed to be getting worse.
As the passed by a lilac bush: “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to flowers.”
As they bumped into an older woman, wearing WAAAY too much perfume: “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to perfume.”
Hideki, assuming Chii was not really reacting to these things, but rather was just following a program, wasn’t even sure how she was able to discern what could cause the reaction and what couldn’t. He hadn’t given her any additional information after their awkward conversation that morning. After the discovery of several more triggers (Chii was apparently allergic to everything that a person could be) and several more observations in persocom’s they passed, Hideki had another question.
“Shinbo… If this was just some random virus, going over the ‘net for example, it would be a pretty big coincidence if it were only affecting the few persocom we’ve run into this morning and no others, right? I mean… based on what we’ve seen this morning, I would guess half the persocoms in Tokyo must have it by now.”
“I suppose. But what are you getting at?”
“Well… If it’s that widespread, and it’s a new virus and all… Wouldn’t it be on the news or something? Wouldn’t we be able to find it on the ‘Net, maybe?”
“Makes sense. But I had Sumomo check earlier and nothing came up.”
“Do… do you think Chii is… like a carrier? Like she’s the one spreading it? That would explain Sumomo… and all these others… and why nobody seems to have heard about it! Maybe it’s not everywhere… just everywhere we go!”
“I don’t know. It’s possible, but I think you’re jumping the gun – remember the haunted apartment room?”
“Hey – that was different! You have to admit…”
“It’s possible. But let’s wait until Kokubunji takes a look before we start carting out the conspiracy theories, OK?”
“OK.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to grass.”
“Bless you, Chii.” Hideki said in a concerned tone, sympathetically patting her on the head as they walked.
After a fairly long (and for Hideki extremely uncomfortable) walk they arrived at the entrance gate to the Kokubunji estate and were buzzed in by Minoru’s custom persocom, Yuzuki.
“Greetings Master Motosuwa, Master Shinbo. Lord Minoru is expecting you.” Yuzuki waited while Hideki and Shinbo were attended to by four scantily clad persocoms wearing skimpy maid outfits.
‘Oh man,’ Hideki thought to himself, ‘if these four starts sneezing, I think my head’s gonna explode!’
“You know for a 10 year old kid, Minoru sure knows how to dress a persocom!” Shinbo was clearly enjoying the maid-treatment. Hideki was just hoping to get through it without breaking something. Once their shoes and jackets were taken care of, Yuzuki led them upstairs to Minoru’s palatial office.
As they walked up the stairs they were passed by a cat, going in the opposite direction.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to cats.” Hideki had lost count of the number of triggers at this point.
“Bless you, Miss Chii.” Yuzuki offered. Hideki just smiled, sadly.
Yuzuki seated them on a sofa in Minoru’s office. Minoru joined them shortly thereafter.
“Hello Mister Shinbo, Mister Motosuwa. I got your message, and I must say it seems like a very odd case. I can’t find anything about it on the ‘net. Even in the hacker forums. If it is a virus, whoever created it isn’t bragging about it.”
“I assume you scanned the message before opening it,” Shinbo said. “Did you find anything? Did it cause you any trouble?” Hideki had no idea what Shinbo was talking about.
“All of my incoming mail is scanned, with both commercial software and my own custom programs as well. The message was clean.”
“Even though it came from an infected persocom?”
“No issues. I’ve checked Yuzuki as well as my other persocom’s out thoroughly since receiving your message and none show any sign of malfunction.”
Just as he finished saying this, a loud sneeze came from Yuzuki’s direction. “HaaayYEEESHOOO! Oh my! I’m sorry Lord Minoru.” She seemed as surprised as the rest of them.
Minoru just sat, stunned for what seemed like a minute or more. He had created Yuzuki to resemble his late sister in form, and programmed her to have the same personality and traits. He had entered as much data as he could in what was ultimately a failed attempt to try and recreate his sister. Although he could not remember doing it, he apparently had even had Yuzuki copy her sneeze. Since persocom’s never sneeze, this bit of data was long forgotten by Minoru but, for just a second, he could have sworn his sister was with them again. It was exactly how his sister sneezed.
“Are you OK, Yuzuki?” Minoru sounded almost haunted at first, but regained his composure. “Run a virus scan… Quickly!”
“Initia… In… in… HaaayYEEESHOOO! I’m sorry. Initiating now.” The three could see Yuzuki eyes go blank momentarily as she ran the scan. “No viruses or malicious program f… f… f… HaaayYEEESHOOO! …found.”
Minoru looked puzzled. “If this is a virus, the designer must be really good. Even my own personal software can’t detect it.” He thought for a minute. “There are three guys I know that you’ll want to check out. I’ll give you their addresses. They’re all pretty infamous hackers. I know them from the hacker boards. They only know me as “M” but I’ve traced back where there messages are coming from. If one of these guys didn’t actually create the virus, they might have some idea who did. Oh yeah – and you can take Chii with you. Since Yuzuki now appears to have it, I’ll work with her to try and identify it, and create a countermeasure program. Here... You three take this list. I think you know the first name on there. And try not to infect my other persocoms on the way out. I may need them to serve as a control group to test my counter program.”
Hideki took the list. He did recognize the first name on it and it made his blood boil – the same man who had once kidnapped Chii to try and hack into her AI. Next to each name was a handle and an address. :
1. Yoshiyuki Kojima (Dragonfly)
2. Kenichi Moro (Niceguy)
3. Hirofumi Sakai (Jester)
and
Hiroaki Sakai (Vendetta)
(aka – the “hero brothers”)
Shinbo, Hideki and Chii took their leave of Minoru and were met by four scantily clad, very sneezy persocoms in skimpy maid outfits on the way out to help them with their jackets and shoes. Hideki seriously thought he was going to drop dead, right there, on the spot. ‘If Chii makes any comments about ‘energy’… he didn’t know what he would do. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Chii was having some trouble herself and was too busy sneezing and excusing herself to notice.
Before heading to the first address on the list, Shinbo thought he should check in on Sumomo and Kotoko. When he opened the door to his apartment, he was not surprised to see the always serious Kotoko sitting in the middle of the floor in a trance. ‘Probably searching the ‘net for some… performance optimization software or some such thing.’ He felt a little strange about not receiving the typical, enthusiastic welcome from Sumomo. He was not prepared for what he saw in her corner of the room.
She was in standby mode, sleeping on her tiny make-shift futon, clinging to a miniature blanket that she had pulled up to her chin. She had something that looked like a tiny ice pack on her head and something that looked like a small thermometer in her mouth. The tissue box was half empty, its crumpled remnants scattered about the floor.
“Uh… Kotoko? How are you feeling?”
The tiny persocom opened her eyes and replied “I’m fine.”
“You uh… didn’t catch anything from Sumomo?”
“I said I’m fine. Like I tried telling that spazmic malfunction about a hundred times: Persocoms don’t get sick.”
Shinbo went over and picked up Sumomo. She woke, but appeared exhausted. Not herself at all. “Shinbo… Welcome… Home…” she managed meekly.
“Come on guys! We and Motosuwa have to get working on that list – and you’ll need to help us Kotoko… Sumomo’s… uh….”
“Useless?”
“She’s just…! Kokubunji thinks it’s a computer virus. Some kind of prank…”
“I couldn’t find anything about it the last time I searched the net. Do you want me to check again?” Her personality could be a bit sarcastic at times, but when you had a job for her to do, she was always ready to help.
“I do, but help us find these addresses first. Then you can search while we walk.”
--------------------
Shinbo, Hideki and Chii made there way to the first address on the list. Kotoko rode on Shinbo’s shoulder, while Sumomo moaned and groaned and occasionally sneezed from inside Shinbo’s backpack.
And so the scene repeated:
“ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” from inside the pack.
“Sumomo! God bless you!” from Chii
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to…” whatever…
“Bless you!” from inside the pack.
Each time Kotoko seemed to get a little more annoyed with them.
As they continued they also noticed, as they had earlier, that every persocom they passed started sneezing as well; again, much to the surprise of their owners. Just before they reached the apartment of the hacker and persocom kidnapper known as “Dragonfly,” Kotoko reported that she had found a hit on the net.
“Someone just posted on a computer virus helpline discussion board asking about a virus that makes per…” Kotoko paused for a few seconds “per…socoms…. sn-sneeze.” Hideki looked over and noticed that her eyes were half closed and she had a look of intense concentration on her face.
“Are you OK, Kotoko?” He asked.
“I’m fine.” The strange look was now gone. “So far there are no responses to the poster’s query.”
“Good work, Kotoko.” Shinbo said, apparently oblivious to the awkward pauses in Kotoko’s voice. “We’re here.” He knocked on “Dragonfly’s” door.
When Yoshiyuki Kojima opened the door it was all Hideki could do not to punch him right in the face. He had never forgiven him for attempting to kidnap Chii. Fortunately, since Hideki knew almost nothing about computers anyway, Shinbo did the talking, explained the situation to Yoshiyuki, and aksed him what he knew about it. Hideki, who was a pretty good judge of people, and already suspicious Yoshiyuki, was careful to look for any signs of deception in the man’s answers.
“Well... the only thing I’ve seen are a couple of posts asking about it. One of them was from ‘M’ himself. You know... you should really tell Kokubunji to change his handle...”
“So you don’t know who’s behind it?”
“Well it’s not me if that’s what your asking. I’m a hacker, not a prankster. The guy’s good though, especially if he can spread it without it being detected, bypassing all the commercial and custom virus protection that’s out there.”
Shinbo mentioned Hideki’s theory about Chii being the carrier.
Yoshiyuki thought about it for a while before replying. “It’s possible. I don’t know how they would get it into her in the first place but... if they did... well... Chii’s different you see.” Hideki didn’t like where this was going. “The last time I worked on Chii...” Hideki clenched his fist so hard his knuckles cracked. “...and her defenses activated... Not only was my own lab trashed, but for a few seconds... according to my data log (or what was left of it) Chii was momentraily connected to every single persocom in the world.”
The two were stunned. ‘Why couldn’t Kokubunji detect this?’ they thought.
“It actually happened a couple of times before. I was researching the phenomenon and discovered it was caused by this one persocom. That’s why I wanted to research her more closely.” The look on Hideki’s face resembled the one use by Medusa to petrify people. Picking up on this, Yoshiyuki chanegd the subject.
“So how have you been, Chii?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dust.”
Yoshiyuki was about to ask his guests forgiveness for the state of his apartment when he was interrupted by a loud, cheerful voice coming from Shinbo’s backpack. “God bless you!”
Yoshiyuki laughed out loud. “Does the virus make them do that too?”
Now it was Shinbo’s turn to be annoyed. “No! She’s just being... polite.”
Suddenly “ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” came from inside the pack.
“Sumomo! God bless you!” Chii replied.
Yoshiyuki was in hysterics. “Oh my God! Have they been doing this all day? That’s rich! Oh my God, that’s too much! They actually bless each other? Why on earth do they do that?”
“I told you...” Shinbo started, really annoyed now, but was interrupted by Kotoko as she climbed back out of the backpack and onto his shoulder.
“Beacuse their idiots.” She said flatly.
“Kotoko! My old mini-persocom! Are you ready to come home?”
Kotoko just looked away from her old owner. Hideki reminded “Dragonfly” that she was taken as compensation, so they wouldn’t press charges. He conceded, and shortly thereafter the group was on there way again.
“What do think Motosuwa-san?”
“Well... I think he’s an asshole. But I also think he was being truthful.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to…”
“Bless you Chii.” Hideki said for what seemed like the 500th time that day, and gently caressed the back of her head with his hand as they walked.
--------------------
Although they basically knew the way to “Dragonfly’s” apartment, having been there once before to try and rescue Chii, “Niceguy” lived in a part of the city that they were less familiar with. What was worse was that their navigator seemed to be losing steam.
“After… 100… m-meters… turn… left… on… on…”
“Kotoko are you sure you’re OK?” Hideki asked again.
“I’m f… f… f… hup-chmpfk! ...fine.” To Hideki it definitely sounded like she stifled a sneeze.
“God bless you” emanated from the backpack, simultaneously with “Kotoko! God bless you!” from Chii. That confirmed it.
Shinbo stopped. He did a quick examination of Kotoko and concluded that she too was now “sick” or “allergic” or whatever this virus was making them.
“Hey Kotoko, why don’t you team up with Sumomo on the navigating? It might be easier if you shared the load.”
Kotoko looked insulted. “I’m not… hup-chmpfk! ...going to sh-share my work…with… with… hup-chmpfk! …that ridiculous… hup-chmpfk!...”
Three times in rapid succession: “God bless you” from the backpack, along with “Kotoko! God bless you!” from Chii.
“AAAH!” Kotoko expressed in frustration upon finally reaching her breaking point. Even persocom’s had limits apparently. “Just go left in 100 meter and it will be on your right!” she said very quickly before adding another “hup-chmpfk!”
“GOD…” two voices said at once.
“SHUT UP!” yelled a tired sounding Kotoko, as she climbed into the backpack.
“Hey Shinbo… maybe we can put the mini’s on standby for awhile?” Hideki suggested, although he was almost numb to it by now.
Shinbo seemed not to have heard him as he knocked on “Niceguy’s” door. They could hear the sound of a dog barking.
A man opened the door and introduced himself as “Kenichi Moro” while he held back his energitc border collie. “Can I help you?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dogs.”
Kenichi was so surprised he almost let the dog go. “Did... uh... did you program her to do that?”
Hideki answered, “No. That what we want to see you about. Are you Niceguy?”
Kenichi looked even more suprised. “Huh? Whaddayoumean? I don’t know... I mean I don’t... I’m sorry... Please come in. Why don’t we start form the beginning?”
They all sat down on a worn yet comfortable couch inside Kenichi’s fairly cluttered apartment. The dog, ‘Kenji’ sat at Chii’s feet, resting his head on her lap looking up at her with sad, lonely looking eyes. She petted him with one hand while covering up the sneezes that came about every five to ten seconds with the other. Hideki sat next to her praying he wouldn’t be blueballed by the end of the day. Shinbo explained the situation, and asked if he knew anything about the virus.
“Well, I didn’t write it if that’s what you mean. Your friend, ‘M,’ sent you to me because tracking down computer viruses is my specialty. I’m somehwat of a digital epidemiaologist. As for what I know... well it just so happenes there was something on the news about it, just before you three came knocking.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you, Chii.” Hideki said for what felt like the 1000th time that day.
Kenichi flipped on the TV and they were repeating the story: “Hundereds of reports coming in of infected persoms accross the city. The virus does not appear harmful, and does not spread from persocom to persocom, or through email. Authorities do not know how the virus does spread, but are working to crack the code in order to prevent future....”
*click*
“That’s about it. So I know of it. But not much else I’m afraid.” Kenichi said apologetically.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you.” This time it came from Kenichi. “By the way... am I mistaken Mister Shinbo or did your backpack sneeze several times just now as well?”
Shinbo pulled Sumomo and Kotoko out of the pack. Sure snough Sumomo was still going on with her obnoxious sneezing while Kotoko was content to stifle.
“Oh my!” said Kenichi. “That’s so cute!” Hideki wondered if he was reading to much into Kenichi statement, as he pondered whether they might be thinking the same thing.
Kenichi picked up Kotoko and examined her closely. “So do you have a cold, or are you allergic?”
“hup-chmpfk!” Kotoko’s two-handed stifle was now almost doubling her over. “Neither! Persocoms don’t… get… s-s-s…. hup-chmpfk! …sick, or al… aller… aaahh… hup-chmpfk! ...allergies!” Hearing Kotoko’s sneezy denial was too much for Hideki. He asked if he could use the bathroom and excused himself.
“I have to admit,” Kenichi began, putting Kotoko back in Shinbo’s pack, “Whoever did this sure has a sense of humor.”
“So... you can’t help us then?” Shinbo asked, thinking ‘strike two.’
“Oh I’ll keep my eyes open. A virus that actually made the news? And they don’t even know how it’s spreading? I can’t help but investigate that!”
“We have an idea...” Shinbo explained Hideki’s theory bout Chii.
“Hmmm... Yeah that could be. Could I ask a favor? Would you... let... Chii infect my persocom?”
Shinbo thought he’d heard him wrong. “What? Why?”
“Ummmm... Well.... So... I... can... get a sample of the virus code in order to investigate it! ... of course.” Shinbo thought Kenichi was smiling a little too wide, but obliged and introduced Chii to Kenichi persocom. Once the other one started sneezing they headed over the the last address.
--------------------
At the aprartment of the “hero brothers,” Hiroaki “Vendetta” Sakai and Hirofumi “Jester” Sakai were watching the local news, stunned to see that their virus was that night’s top story.
“I thought you said it wouldn’t pass between persocoms?” Hiroaki asked in an annoyed tone.
“I did brother-man! Even the news-dude said it doesn’t get passed around!” Hirofumi was getting rather nervous. This had gone way beyond what they had planned to do.
“If that’s the case, the why is the news-dude even talking about it?!”
“Hey man! It wasn’t my fault! What the fuck?! I know that virus can’t be spread! And it doesn’t self-replicate! All it does is stay hidden, and make one persocom sick!”
“So… what? This is just an amazing coincidence? Did someone else create a virus that does the exact same thing as yours and release it on the exact same day?! Hang on… there one way to check… My virus piggy backed yours so…” He trailed off as he logged onto their website. He had expected to see a single automated e-mail containing the access codes and password hack for a single persocom – the Chobits. What he was seeing looked like the codes and hacks for hundreds of persocoms, maybe over a thousand! And more emails were coming in every few seconds. Hiroaki finally lost his cool.
“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! SHIT! SHIT! FUCK! FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! There no fucking way we can hide all this! We’re getting fucking spammed by our own fucking virus! What the fuck did you do?!”
While Hiroaki lost his cool, Hirofumi went silent. All he could do was shrug his shoulders. The brothers now knew they were screwed. It was only a matter of time before someone traced one of those emails back to them.
--------------------
It was getting dark as Hideki, Shinbo and Chii closed in on the final address on the list, directed by a miserable sounding Kotoko, who threatened to fall off Shinbo’s shoulder with each stifled sneeze. About a block away, a sneezy Sumomo climbed out of the pack and informed them that they had an incoming call.
“It’s from... ko… ko… ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! Kokubuji!” she declared.
“Sumomo. God bless you.” followed Chii. Shinbo instructed the little persocom to put the call through.
“Guys… I have news…” Hideki still found it unnerving to hear Minoru’s voice coming out of Sumomo. “The ‘hero brothers’ – Jester and Vendetta? There the guys behind all this! Yuzuki has been sneezing all day, and unable to find the virus code itself, but she did catch an email that was being sent through her net connection. It was automated, and contained all of her access codes and password hacks. What’s more I recognize the address it was going to - it’s theirs. Whatever you do… be careful! … ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” Sumomo sneezed just as the connection went out.
“Hmmm…” Shinbo thought for a moment. “OK… we’ll go ahead and check them out anyway, but let me do the talking. I have a plan.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you, Chii. No problem Shinbo. I’ll follow your lead.”
They climbed the staircase and knocked on the apartment door. A man who looked like he had been well dressed just a short while ago, but now looked disheveled, answered the door. A younger man who looked like all he was missing was a skateboard sat behind him. “Can I help you?” the formerly well dressed man asked.
“Well, we were….” Shinbo began.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!” The man eyes went wise when he saw Chii and heard her sneeze. When he tried to slam the door, Hideki decided that Shinbo’s plan wasn’t working out. He kicked the door as hard as he could and sent the man sprawling.
Hideki was on him in an instant, grabbing him up by the lapels and pinning him against the wall. Compared to the cows he’d spent his life pulling around, this skinny hacker felt about as soft and light as a pillow. He raised his fist and paused as the man cowered. Shinbo could tell by the look on Hideki face that, if he was going to salvage this situation, he was going to have to act fast.
“He’s a farm boy, you know.” he began calmly. “Yep, those guys sure are strong. It’s all that manly work they spend 18 hours of every day doing. Yep, I’m pretty sure he could just tear you guys apart without even breaking a sweat. It’s too bad too; he’s really a nice guy. But you… ah… messed with his persocom, and he’s really protective of her. You recognize her?”
“Y-Yeah.” It was the skater on the couch. “W-What do you want?”
Hideki still had the other subdued, so Shinbo continued. “Ok – first, nothing’s going to happen until you fix this mess! Then, we’re going to have the farm boy here toss all of these computers right out that window. NO, NO! Don’t even try to stop him! It’s either that… or we turn it all over to the authorities and let them find out what’s on these machines.” Shinbo was bluffing at this point. He really had no idea what the authorities might find, but since he had the upper hand, he thought he press them a little.
“OK. O-K. I’ve got the removal program here. But it’s only for her… she’ll have to transmit it somehow… it’s just like the virus… it won’t transfer on its own.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you Chii! Are you ready to get rid of that virus?” Shinbo was pretty happy with himself at this point.
“Chii!” answered the persocom.
The brother’s used their custom transmitter to upload the anti-virus. What happened next came as a shock to everyone, even the two brothers who had some idea of Chii’s capability. She looked around the room, and then asked in a deep, clear voice that didn’t sound like her at all, “Are you the two that tried to violate me?”
“Y-Yes.” Both brothers stammered, clearly frightened.
“I need your system to transmit the counter. I regret to inform you that all of your data is about to be… destroyed.”
Chii raised her hands and pointed both arms at the desktops, and servers. As she spread her fingers, what looked like miniature bolts of lightning flew from them, as a golden light seems to shine from all over her body. She floated a foot into the air and her hair moved like waves in the ocean, a golden tide cascading down the shores of her back. After a minute the light dimmed. All of the computers were fried as well as the modems and even the wires connecting the system to the ‘net. Chii looked up and in the same clear voice said, “All data has been deleted. Anti-virus has been transmitted to all persocoms.” When the light went out completely, she fell to the floor.
Hideki finally released his captive and ran over to pick Chii up. She was not heavy, so he knew she had not stopped functioning. She opened her eyes and in her own, child-like voice said “Chii! Hideki! Chii is OK.” The ‘hero brothers’ were almost in tears as they surveyed the damage to their system, and determined it was completely trashed.
“Look on the bright side…” Shinbo taunted, “Now you won’t have to watch us throw it out the window, and we won’t have to turn you into the police either. Come on gang. Let’s go home.”
--------------------
Hideki woke the next day staring directly into the sun, beaming though his untreated window.
“HAAAArchoo!” His photic sneeze woke up Chii.
“Hideki! God bless you. Hideki has energy this morning!”
Although he did, and he was still embarrassed by Chii pointing it out, he had to admit he was going to miss hearing her sneeze... Even if it did cause him to have some slightly visible “energy.”
Setting and all non-original charecters property of CLAMP
WARNING: THIS IS SLIGHTLY 18+ IN PLACES
They had discovered it weeks ago – the CHOBITS. They could hardly believe there eyes, but there she was. Walking down the street with a Hokkaido farm boy no less! There was no mistaking her features. They’d seen the picture a hundred times on “urban legend” websites: the beautiful but sad looking girl suspended in mid air by hundreds of wires, “HOBITS” visible on her thigh. (One of them actually used that picture for the wallpaper on his PC's desktop.) And here she was! The thing that finally dispelled all doubt, eliminating the possibly that some clever persocom manufacturer had simply produced a model that looked like the legendary CHOBITS, came when they tried to use there wireless transmitter to hack it her, just the be sure. The persocom they networked through was fried beyond repair. There was no doubt – this was the real deal: The self-aware, fully independent persocom; the urban legend that could think, feel and do everything else as if they were human. They had to get a hold of her AI. They would be rich.
A chuckle came from the dark room that was half mad-scientist and half manga-otaku. Hirofumi Sakai had done it. His latest masterpiece was finished. “A custom virus, for a custom persocom!” he declared to himself. He called for his twin brother, Hiroaki.
“Is it done yet?” Hiroaki asked in an almost bored tone.
“Abso-mundo brother of mine! And it’s a beauty!” Hirofumi’s exuberance was more than a little grating.
“What does it do?” the more serious of the two brother’s asked.
“It makes them sneeze!” the louder of the two replied.
“That’s it?”
“Oh come on brother of mine! You wanted me to write the decoy code right? Well, man, what could be better? I mean it’s not like persocom’s ever do that on there own! That farm boy will know something wrong, but he’ll be totally chasing the wrong thing!”
“I suppose it will work.” Hiroaki replied, careful not to overly encourage his brother, whose ego was already excessive, in his opinion. “I’ve finished mine part as well. As long as they keep trying to deal with your obnoxious prank, they’ll never notice my subtle little program slowly undermining all of her security protocols.”
“Obnoxious is what I do best brother of mine!”
“Now that’s something we agree on.” Hiroaki was amazed at his brother’s ability to both annoy and amuse him at the same time.
“We’re going to be rich, aren’t we man?” It was the first serious thing Hirofumi had said or asked all night.
“Yes… If we play our cards right, we will do quite well. Are you ready to transmit?”
“Ready, willing and able, dude!”
“Then proceed with the upload, and be careful.”
“Hey man, I’m always careful!”
“Hmpf.” But Hiroaki had to admit to himself that however irritating Hirofumi’s enthusiasm could be, his brother did always manage to escape detection. How that could be the case he had no idea, but of the two it was the more outspoken Hirofumi who always seemed to get away with everything.
--------------------
Hideki Motosuwa woke up late. Thankfully, being Golden Week, he didn’t have cram school classes and, having moved off the farm, didn’t have any chores to do or rice to plant or harvest either. As he sat up on his futon and gazed into the morning sun he looked forward to a week off, even if he did have to do a little studying to catch up.
“HAAAArchoo!” He sneezed loudly into the crook of his elbow, waking his persocom, Chii. As she sat up, rather than saying ‘Good Morning’ right away, she remained quiet watching Hideki with intense curiosity. He was still waiting for the second sneeze – whenever he was photic, they always came in pairs. He sat there with his arm raised, and his eyes half closed. This one was being stubborn.
“Haah… aaah… HAHAAARchoo! Man I have got to get some window shades. Or something. Oh! Good morning Chii!”
“Chii. Good Morning Hideki. Hideki… hah…ah…hatchoo!” Hideki was surprised, and more than a little bit aroused, by Chii’s sneeze, which was about the cutest, most kawaii sneeze he’d ever heard. Since it had sounded somewhat like his own, he assumed that Chii was merely imitating him, and thought he should probably explain what just happened to her, as he so often needed to. “Hideki has energy this morning!” Chii continued, pointing directly at his crotch.
“Ack!” He spun around, putting his back to her. He was pretty sure that most guys woke up somewhat… aroused, but it was still embarrassing to have it pointed out to him! “Um… yeah… Right... ha-ha.” After calming down he turned around to explain to his persocom what had just happened.
“Chii? That was called sneezing.”
“Sneezing?” Chii asked, in the curious tone she often used when Hideki was explaining new things to her.
“Yes, people do that when they’re sick, or when something bother’s there nose. When you here some do that, it is polite to say ‘God bless you.’”
“God bless you. Hideki… hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you!” again with the world’s cutest sneeze, Hideki thought to himself. “hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you!”
“Chii… are you OK? You don’t have to…”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless you! Chii keeps sneezing. hah…ah…hatchoo! God bless…”
“You don’t have to say that after you sneeze; only when you hear someone else do it. When you sneeze you could say ‘Excuse me.’”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you Chii! But… why are you sneezing? Do persocoms get sick?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! No, Chii’s not sick. hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Too much dust in Hideki’s room. Hideki has more energy!” Chii declared happily, again pointing at his crotch.
“Aaaah!” Hideki quickly got dressed, putting on some jeans. He found it so unnerving when she pointed that out. What he found even more unnerving was the effect that Chii’s sneeze was having on him. No wonder he had so much “energy,” as she put it, that cute, girly, kawaii little sneeze was just too much! He wasn’t sure if anyone else would get so turned on by it, and it embarrassed him more than a little, but it was just so cute!
“Chii… I’m glad you’re not sick, but… What do you mean too much dust?” Hideki, being a young single male did have a bit of a dusty room, but it had never bothered either of them before. “Are you allergic to dust?” He felt uncomfortable even asking.
“Allergic? hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you! Allergic is when… well, I guess it’s when something bothers your nose, and makes you sneeze.” Hideki simplified the explanation to increase the likelihood that Chii would understand. Also, he felt extremely uncomfortable discussing allergies, even with a persocom, considering the effect that their effects had on him.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Yes… Chii’s aller… aller… al… hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dust.” Chii’s sneezy, wavering voice as she tried to talking through an impending sneeze made Hideki's pulse race. He could not get over how cute she was, and how helpless she appeared. As Hideki adjusted himself, regretting his choice of such a tight pair of jeans, he thought that it might be a good idea to clean up a little. And even though he didn’t really understand much about computers, this morning’s events did seem strange enough that he thought he’d ask his friend Shinbo, from down the hall, about it. Shinbo knew a lot more about computers than Hideki did.
--------------------
* Knock *
“Hey Shinbo! Are you awake?”
His friend opened the door, looking like he’d been not only awake, but busy for some time. “Yeah I’m awake! It’s 10:00, did you just get up?”
“Ha-ha… yeah… I guess I slept in a little. Hey… I think there’s a problem with Chii. Do you think you could have a look at her?” (Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! Please don’t ask me what’s wrong with her! )
“Sure! What’s wrong with her?”
(AAAAH!) Hideki relayed the events of the morning, hoping his friend wouldn’t notice his increasingly bent over posture as he told the story. ‘I have got to change out of these pants!’ he thought to himself.
“Huh. That is strange. She said she was… allergic?”
‘Stop saying that word!’ Hideki thought to himself.
“I’ve never heard of a persocom being allergic…”
‘AAAH! Stop saying that WORD!’ Hideki thought again, his jeans getting increasingly uncomfortable.
“So I don’t think she could really be allergic…”
‘FOR THE LOVE OF BUDDHA, CHRIST AND MUHHAMAD WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT WORD!!!’ Hideki screamed in his mind, sure that he was getting red-faced by now.
“It’s probably a weird computer virus of some kind. Most likely just a stupid prank. Does she have anti-virus software? Is it up to date?”
The blank look on Hideki’s face was answer enough. “Huh? I’ve never installed any software on Chii, remember?”
“Yeah… That’s right. And based on what we’ve seen of her internal security software, I’m surprised any thing could infect her. All the same, you should get yourself some decent anti-virus software.”
“Is it expensive?” Hideki asked in a depressed tone.
“You bet!” Shinbo beamed, as he always did when giving Hideki bad news.
*sigh* Hideki hung his head. His pants fit perfectly now.
--------------------
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!” Chii sneezed several times as Shinbo checked her out, not that he could do much – the only time he’d hooked his mini-persocom, Sumomo, to Chii it took the rest of the weekend to get Sumomo working again. Hideki went to put on some baggier pants.
“Chii… can you run a virus scan?” He asked, but Chii just looked at him confused.
Hideki returned just as Chii sneezed again. “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Virus scan?”
Sumomo climbed out of Shinbo’s backpack and jumped down in front of Chii “It is polite to cover your nose and mouth whenever you sneeze!” she declared in her typical, highly cheerful voice.
“Cover… hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Cover Chii’s nose and mouth?”
“Yes, like this… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” Little Sumomo was doubled over by the force of her sneeze, her pudgy arms reaching up to cover her nose and mouth with both hands. Shinbo though her demonstration was pretty funny. Hideki was thankful for the loose fitting pants.
“Sumomo… Bless you!” Chii offered. The sight of one persocom sneezing while another blessed had Shinbo almost laughing out loud. Hideki wondered if anyone could appreciate the scene the way that he did.
“Sumomo, can you run a search and see if you can find anything out about a new computer virus that acts this way?”
“Ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! HAI!”
Shinbo was surprised to here his mini-persocom sneeze again. He’d assumed the first one was only for demonstration purposes. He kept a cautious eye on her as she ran the search.
“No!” Sumomo finally yelled, enthusiastically. “No reported viruses match th.. th… thi… tha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! …this description!” Sumomo then went over to Shinbo’s backpack and started rummaging around inside with only her legs sticking out. She came out holding a tissue that was big enough for the diminutive persocom to use for a bed sheet. She held it to her face and made a sound as if she was blowing her nose.
“What was that all about?” Hideki asked, taken totally off guard by Sumomo’s behavior.
“I don’t know.” Shinbo answered, somewhat confused himself. “What’s the deal Sumomo?”
“It’s important to blow your nose to expel irritants and clear congestion!” Sumomo declared cheerfully.
Chii took the tissue from Sumomo and did the same. It was so cute, Hideki couldn’t stand it.
“WARNING! WARNING!” cried Sumomo. “It is unsanitary to use the same tissue as another person!”
Had he not been so concerned for both his own persocom and Chii, Shinbo would have laughed. “OK. I’m going to take her home so she can rest and then I’ll come back to check out Chii a little more.” Shinbo wasn’t sure if bed rest would benefit a persocom, but he was out of ideas, and if Sumomo did get the virus, it was apparently beyond the software he’d installed anyway. Shinbo left Sumomo in the care of Kotoko, another mini-persocom that he and Hideki “liberated” from a hacker known as “Dragonfly,” and went back to Hideki’s room. After a few more attempts yielded no information, he suggested they go see Minoru Kokubunji. Minoru was a child prodigy who designed and built custom persocoms. If anyone could figure this out, he could.
--------------------
Back in Shinbo’s room, Sumomo made a make-shift futon out of a washcloth and lay down to “get some rest.” The much more serious and practical Kotoko, who Shinbo instructed to ‘take care of Sumomo,’ just look annoyed.
“What are you doing?” She asked in a disapproving tone.
“I’m getting rest!” Sumomo declared.
“Why do you need rest? Just plug in and recharge your battery.”
“I’m si… si… sa… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! I’m sick.” The little persocom said in a much more subdued tone.
“You are so impractical! You are not sick. Persocoms don’t get sick.”
Sumomo, lying on her back, pulled the top fold of the washcloth up to her chin, as if she was shivering and needed a blanket. “I have a cold. I n-nee… nee… na… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! …need rest.” She then leaned over to grab a tissue out of the box sitting nearby.
“What are you doing now?!” Kotoko demanded.
After holding the tissue to her face and making the same ‘blowing your nose’ sound as before, she explained, once again using her more cheerful voice. “It’s important to blow your nose to expel irritants and clear congestion!” Then she went back to looking pathetic and lying in bed.
“You’re so ridiculous. You’re on your own. I have work to do.” After several failed attempts by Sumomo to elicit sympathy from her appointed caretaker, she finally decided to ‘get some rest’ for real and switched into standby mode.
As Shinbo and Hideki walked with Chii over to Minoru Kokubunji’s house, their conversation centered (as usual) on computers and persocoms.
“So these viruses… they can go from persocom to persocom?” Hideki asked.
“Yes and no.” Shinbo started. “Normally persocoms don’t connect to each other wirelessly, at least not automatically, so unless they’re actively transferring data, the virus won’t transfer either.
“But Sumomo wasn’t hooked up to Chii…”
“I know. After last time, both Sumomo and I know not to try that again. And if the virus did transfer wirelessly, why didn’t Kotoko get it when I left Sumomo with her? I only stayed for a minute or two, but Sumomo seemed to get it from Chii right away.”
“Yeah… sorry about that.”
“You’ll pay for it.” Shinbo said casually, knowing Hideki was broke.
“Bastard.” Hideki shot back, knowing his friend knew he was broke.
“You know it!”
As they made their way through the crowded city, they began to notice other persocoms acting the same way that Chii did. And each time their owners would react as if they had never seen this type of thing before. What’s more Chii’s condition seemed to be getting worse.
As the passed by a lilac bush: “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to flowers.”
As they bumped into an older woman, wearing WAAAY too much perfume: “hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to perfume.”
Hideki, assuming Chii was not really reacting to these things, but rather was just following a program, wasn’t even sure how she was able to discern what could cause the reaction and what couldn’t. He hadn’t given her any additional information after their awkward conversation that morning. After the discovery of several more triggers (Chii was apparently allergic to everything that a person could be) and several more observations in persocom’s they passed, Hideki had another question.
“Shinbo… If this was just some random virus, going over the ‘net for example, it would be a pretty big coincidence if it were only affecting the few persocom we’ve run into this morning and no others, right? I mean… based on what we’ve seen this morning, I would guess half the persocoms in Tokyo must have it by now.”
“I suppose. But what are you getting at?”
“Well… If it’s that widespread, and it’s a new virus and all… Wouldn’t it be on the news or something? Wouldn’t we be able to find it on the ‘Net, maybe?”
“Makes sense. But I had Sumomo check earlier and nothing came up.”
“Do… do you think Chii is… like a carrier? Like she’s the one spreading it? That would explain Sumomo… and all these others… and why nobody seems to have heard about it! Maybe it’s not everywhere… just everywhere we go!”
“I don’t know. It’s possible, but I think you’re jumping the gun – remember the haunted apartment room?”
“Hey – that was different! You have to admit…”
“It’s possible. But let’s wait until Kokubunji takes a look before we start carting out the conspiracy theories, OK?”
“OK.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to grass.”
“Bless you, Chii.” Hideki said in a concerned tone, sympathetically patting her on the head as they walked.
After a fairly long (and for Hideki extremely uncomfortable) walk they arrived at the entrance gate to the Kokubunji estate and were buzzed in by Minoru’s custom persocom, Yuzuki.
“Greetings Master Motosuwa, Master Shinbo. Lord Minoru is expecting you.” Yuzuki waited while Hideki and Shinbo were attended to by four scantily clad persocoms wearing skimpy maid outfits.
‘Oh man,’ Hideki thought to himself, ‘if these four starts sneezing, I think my head’s gonna explode!’
“You know for a 10 year old kid, Minoru sure knows how to dress a persocom!” Shinbo was clearly enjoying the maid-treatment. Hideki was just hoping to get through it without breaking something. Once their shoes and jackets were taken care of, Yuzuki led them upstairs to Minoru’s palatial office.
As they walked up the stairs they were passed by a cat, going in the opposite direction.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to cats.” Hideki had lost count of the number of triggers at this point.
“Bless you, Miss Chii.” Yuzuki offered. Hideki just smiled, sadly.
Yuzuki seated them on a sofa in Minoru’s office. Minoru joined them shortly thereafter.
“Hello Mister Shinbo, Mister Motosuwa. I got your message, and I must say it seems like a very odd case. I can’t find anything about it on the ‘net. Even in the hacker forums. If it is a virus, whoever created it isn’t bragging about it.”
“I assume you scanned the message before opening it,” Shinbo said. “Did you find anything? Did it cause you any trouble?” Hideki had no idea what Shinbo was talking about.
“All of my incoming mail is scanned, with both commercial software and my own custom programs as well. The message was clean.”
“Even though it came from an infected persocom?”
“No issues. I’ve checked Yuzuki as well as my other persocom’s out thoroughly since receiving your message and none show any sign of malfunction.”
Just as he finished saying this, a loud sneeze came from Yuzuki’s direction. “HaaayYEEESHOOO! Oh my! I’m sorry Lord Minoru.” She seemed as surprised as the rest of them.
Minoru just sat, stunned for what seemed like a minute or more. He had created Yuzuki to resemble his late sister in form, and programmed her to have the same personality and traits. He had entered as much data as he could in what was ultimately a failed attempt to try and recreate his sister. Although he could not remember doing it, he apparently had even had Yuzuki copy her sneeze. Since persocom’s never sneeze, this bit of data was long forgotten by Minoru but, for just a second, he could have sworn his sister was with them again. It was exactly how his sister sneezed.
“Are you OK, Yuzuki?” Minoru sounded almost haunted at first, but regained his composure. “Run a virus scan… Quickly!”
“Initia… In… in… HaaayYEEESHOOO! I’m sorry. Initiating now.” The three could see Yuzuki eyes go blank momentarily as she ran the scan. “No viruses or malicious program f… f… f… HaaayYEEESHOOO! …found.”
Minoru looked puzzled. “If this is a virus, the designer must be really good. Even my own personal software can’t detect it.” He thought for a minute. “There are three guys I know that you’ll want to check out. I’ll give you their addresses. They’re all pretty infamous hackers. I know them from the hacker boards. They only know me as “M” but I’ve traced back where there messages are coming from. If one of these guys didn’t actually create the virus, they might have some idea who did. Oh yeah – and you can take Chii with you. Since Yuzuki now appears to have it, I’ll work with her to try and identify it, and create a countermeasure program. Here... You three take this list. I think you know the first name on there. And try not to infect my other persocoms on the way out. I may need them to serve as a control group to test my counter program.”
Hideki took the list. He did recognize the first name on it and it made his blood boil – the same man who had once kidnapped Chii to try and hack into her AI. Next to each name was a handle and an address. :
1. Yoshiyuki Kojima (Dragonfly)
2. Kenichi Moro (Niceguy)
3. Hirofumi Sakai (Jester)
and
Hiroaki Sakai (Vendetta)
(aka – the “hero brothers”)
Shinbo, Hideki and Chii took their leave of Minoru and were met by four scantily clad, very sneezy persocoms in skimpy maid outfits on the way out to help them with their jackets and shoes. Hideki seriously thought he was going to drop dead, right there, on the spot. ‘If Chii makes any comments about ‘energy’… he didn’t know what he would do. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Chii was having some trouble herself and was too busy sneezing and excusing herself to notice.
Before heading to the first address on the list, Shinbo thought he should check in on Sumomo and Kotoko. When he opened the door to his apartment, he was not surprised to see the always serious Kotoko sitting in the middle of the floor in a trance. ‘Probably searching the ‘net for some… performance optimization software or some such thing.’ He felt a little strange about not receiving the typical, enthusiastic welcome from Sumomo. He was not prepared for what he saw in her corner of the room.
She was in standby mode, sleeping on her tiny make-shift futon, clinging to a miniature blanket that she had pulled up to her chin. She had something that looked like a tiny ice pack on her head and something that looked like a small thermometer in her mouth. The tissue box was half empty, its crumpled remnants scattered about the floor.
“Uh… Kotoko? How are you feeling?”
The tiny persocom opened her eyes and replied “I’m fine.”
“You uh… didn’t catch anything from Sumomo?”
“I said I’m fine. Like I tried telling that spazmic malfunction about a hundred times: Persocoms don’t get sick.”
Shinbo went over and picked up Sumomo. She woke, but appeared exhausted. Not herself at all. “Shinbo… Welcome… Home…” she managed meekly.
“Come on guys! We and Motosuwa have to get working on that list – and you’ll need to help us Kotoko… Sumomo’s… uh….”
“Useless?”
“She’s just…! Kokubunji thinks it’s a computer virus. Some kind of prank…”
“I couldn’t find anything about it the last time I searched the net. Do you want me to check again?” Her personality could be a bit sarcastic at times, but when you had a job for her to do, she was always ready to help.
“I do, but help us find these addresses first. Then you can search while we walk.”
--------------------
Shinbo, Hideki and Chii made there way to the first address on the list. Kotoko rode on Shinbo’s shoulder, while Sumomo moaned and groaned and occasionally sneezed from inside Shinbo’s backpack.
And so the scene repeated:
“ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” from inside the pack.
“Sumomo! God bless you!” from Chii
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to…” whatever…
“Bless you!” from inside the pack.
Each time Kotoko seemed to get a little more annoyed with them.
As they continued they also noticed, as they had earlier, that every persocom they passed started sneezing as well; again, much to the surprise of their owners. Just before they reached the apartment of the hacker and persocom kidnapper known as “Dragonfly,” Kotoko reported that she had found a hit on the net.
“Someone just posted on a computer virus helpline discussion board asking about a virus that makes per…” Kotoko paused for a few seconds “per…socoms…. sn-sneeze.” Hideki looked over and noticed that her eyes were half closed and she had a look of intense concentration on her face.
“Are you OK, Kotoko?” He asked.
“I’m fine.” The strange look was now gone. “So far there are no responses to the poster’s query.”
“Good work, Kotoko.” Shinbo said, apparently oblivious to the awkward pauses in Kotoko’s voice. “We’re here.” He knocked on “Dragonfly’s” door.
When Yoshiyuki Kojima opened the door it was all Hideki could do not to punch him right in the face. He had never forgiven him for attempting to kidnap Chii. Fortunately, since Hideki knew almost nothing about computers anyway, Shinbo did the talking, explained the situation to Yoshiyuki, and aksed him what he knew about it. Hideki, who was a pretty good judge of people, and already suspicious Yoshiyuki, was careful to look for any signs of deception in the man’s answers.
“Well... the only thing I’ve seen are a couple of posts asking about it. One of them was from ‘M’ himself. You know... you should really tell Kokubunji to change his handle...”
“So you don’t know who’s behind it?”
“Well it’s not me if that’s what your asking. I’m a hacker, not a prankster. The guy’s good though, especially if he can spread it without it being detected, bypassing all the commercial and custom virus protection that’s out there.”
Shinbo mentioned Hideki’s theory about Chii being the carrier.
Yoshiyuki thought about it for a while before replying. “It’s possible. I don’t know how they would get it into her in the first place but... if they did... well... Chii’s different you see.” Hideki didn’t like where this was going. “The last time I worked on Chii...” Hideki clenched his fist so hard his knuckles cracked. “...and her defenses activated... Not only was my own lab trashed, but for a few seconds... according to my data log (or what was left of it) Chii was momentraily connected to every single persocom in the world.”
The two were stunned. ‘Why couldn’t Kokubunji detect this?’ they thought.
“It actually happened a couple of times before. I was researching the phenomenon and discovered it was caused by this one persocom. That’s why I wanted to research her more closely.” The look on Hideki’s face resembled the one use by Medusa to petrify people. Picking up on this, Yoshiyuki chanegd the subject.
“So how have you been, Chii?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dust.”
Yoshiyuki was about to ask his guests forgiveness for the state of his apartment when he was interrupted by a loud, cheerful voice coming from Shinbo’s backpack. “God bless you!”
Yoshiyuki laughed out loud. “Does the virus make them do that too?”
Now it was Shinbo’s turn to be annoyed. “No! She’s just being... polite.”
Suddenly “ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” came from inside the pack.
“Sumomo! God bless you!” Chii replied.
Yoshiyuki was in hysterics. “Oh my God! Have they been doing this all day? That’s rich! Oh my God, that’s too much! They actually bless each other? Why on earth do they do that?”
“I told you...” Shinbo started, really annoyed now, but was interrupted by Kotoko as she climbed back out of the backpack and onto his shoulder.
“Beacuse their idiots.” She said flatly.
“Kotoko! My old mini-persocom! Are you ready to come home?”
Kotoko just looked away from her old owner. Hideki reminded “Dragonfly” that she was taken as compensation, so they wouldn’t press charges. He conceded, and shortly thereafter the group was on there way again.
“What do think Motosuwa-san?”
“Well... I think he’s an asshole. But I also think he was being truthful.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to…”
“Bless you Chii.” Hideki said for what seemed like the 500th time that day, and gently caressed the back of her head with his hand as they walked.
--------------------
Although they basically knew the way to “Dragonfly’s” apartment, having been there once before to try and rescue Chii, “Niceguy” lived in a part of the city that they were less familiar with. What was worse was that their navigator seemed to be losing steam.
“After… 100… m-meters… turn… left… on… on…”
“Kotoko are you sure you’re OK?” Hideki asked again.
“I’m f… f… f… hup-chmpfk! ...fine.” To Hideki it definitely sounded like she stifled a sneeze.
“God bless you” emanated from the backpack, simultaneously with “Kotoko! God bless you!” from Chii. That confirmed it.
Shinbo stopped. He did a quick examination of Kotoko and concluded that she too was now “sick” or “allergic” or whatever this virus was making them.
“Hey Kotoko, why don’t you team up with Sumomo on the navigating? It might be easier if you shared the load.”
Kotoko looked insulted. “I’m not… hup-chmpfk! ...going to sh-share my work…with… with… hup-chmpfk! …that ridiculous… hup-chmpfk!...”
Three times in rapid succession: “God bless you” from the backpack, along with “Kotoko! God bless you!” from Chii.
“AAAH!” Kotoko expressed in frustration upon finally reaching her breaking point. Even persocom’s had limits apparently. “Just go left in 100 meter and it will be on your right!” she said very quickly before adding another “hup-chmpfk!”
“GOD…” two voices said at once.
“SHUT UP!” yelled a tired sounding Kotoko, as she climbed into the backpack.
“Hey Shinbo… maybe we can put the mini’s on standby for awhile?” Hideki suggested, although he was almost numb to it by now.
Shinbo seemed not to have heard him as he knocked on “Niceguy’s” door. They could hear the sound of a dog barking.
A man opened the door and introduced himself as “Kenichi Moro” while he held back his energitc border collie. “Can I help you?”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me! Chii’s allergic to dogs.”
Kenichi was so surprised he almost let the dog go. “Did... uh... did you program her to do that?”
Hideki answered, “No. That what we want to see you about. Are you Niceguy?”
Kenichi looked even more suprised. “Huh? Whaddayoumean? I don’t know... I mean I don’t... I’m sorry... Please come in. Why don’t we start form the beginning?”
They all sat down on a worn yet comfortable couch inside Kenichi’s fairly cluttered apartment. The dog, ‘Kenji’ sat at Chii’s feet, resting his head on her lap looking up at her with sad, lonely looking eyes. She petted him with one hand while covering up the sneezes that came about every five to ten seconds with the other. Hideki sat next to her praying he wouldn’t be blueballed by the end of the day. Shinbo explained the situation, and asked if he knew anything about the virus.
“Well, I didn’t write it if that’s what you mean. Your friend, ‘M,’ sent you to me because tracking down computer viruses is my specialty. I’m somehwat of a digital epidemiaologist. As for what I know... well it just so happenes there was something on the news about it, just before you three came knocking.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you, Chii.” Hideki said for what felt like the 1000th time that day.
Kenichi flipped on the TV and they were repeating the story: “Hundereds of reports coming in of infected persoms accross the city. The virus does not appear harmful, and does not spread from persocom to persocom, or through email. Authorities do not know how the virus does spread, but are working to crack the code in order to prevent future....”
*click*
“That’s about it. So I know of it. But not much else I’m afraid.” Kenichi said apologetically.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you.” This time it came from Kenichi. “By the way... am I mistaken Mister Shinbo or did your backpack sneeze several times just now as well?”
Shinbo pulled Sumomo and Kotoko out of the pack. Sure snough Sumomo was still going on with her obnoxious sneezing while Kotoko was content to stifle.
“Oh my!” said Kenichi. “That’s so cute!” Hideki wondered if he was reading to much into Kenichi statement, as he pondered whether they might be thinking the same thing.
Kenichi picked up Kotoko and examined her closely. “So do you have a cold, or are you allergic?”
“hup-chmpfk!” Kotoko’s two-handed stifle was now almost doubling her over. “Neither! Persocoms don’t… get… s-s-s…. hup-chmpfk! …sick, or al… aller… aaahh… hup-chmpfk! ...allergies!” Hearing Kotoko’s sneezy denial was too much for Hideki. He asked if he could use the bathroom and excused himself.
“I have to admit,” Kenichi began, putting Kotoko back in Shinbo’s pack, “Whoever did this sure has a sense of humor.”
“So... you can’t help us then?” Shinbo asked, thinking ‘strike two.’
“Oh I’ll keep my eyes open. A virus that actually made the news? And they don’t even know how it’s spreading? I can’t help but investigate that!”
“We have an idea...” Shinbo explained Hideki’s theory bout Chii.
“Hmmm... Yeah that could be. Could I ask a favor? Would you... let... Chii infect my persocom?”
Shinbo thought he’d heard him wrong. “What? Why?”
“Ummmm... Well.... So... I... can... get a sample of the virus code in order to investigate it! ... of course.” Shinbo thought Kenichi was smiling a little too wide, but obliged and introduced Chii to Kenichi persocom. Once the other one started sneezing they headed over the the last address.
--------------------
At the aprartment of the “hero brothers,” Hiroaki “Vendetta” Sakai and Hirofumi “Jester” Sakai were watching the local news, stunned to see that their virus was that night’s top story.
“I thought you said it wouldn’t pass between persocoms?” Hiroaki asked in an annoyed tone.
“I did brother-man! Even the news-dude said it doesn’t get passed around!” Hirofumi was getting rather nervous. This had gone way beyond what they had planned to do.
“If that’s the case, the why is the news-dude even talking about it?!”
“Hey man! It wasn’t my fault! What the fuck?! I know that virus can’t be spread! And it doesn’t self-replicate! All it does is stay hidden, and make one persocom sick!”
“So… what? This is just an amazing coincidence? Did someone else create a virus that does the exact same thing as yours and release it on the exact same day?! Hang on… there one way to check… My virus piggy backed yours so…” He trailed off as he logged onto their website. He had expected to see a single automated e-mail containing the access codes and password hack for a single persocom – the Chobits. What he was seeing looked like the codes and hacks for hundreds of persocoms, maybe over a thousand! And more emails were coming in every few seconds. Hiroaki finally lost his cool.
“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! SHIT! SHIT! FUCK! FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! There no fucking way we can hide all this! We’re getting fucking spammed by our own fucking virus! What the fuck did you do?!”
While Hiroaki lost his cool, Hirofumi went silent. All he could do was shrug his shoulders. The brothers now knew they were screwed. It was only a matter of time before someone traced one of those emails back to them.
--------------------
It was getting dark as Hideki, Shinbo and Chii closed in on the final address on the list, directed by a miserable sounding Kotoko, who threatened to fall off Shinbo’s shoulder with each stifled sneeze. About a block away, a sneezy Sumomo climbed out of the pack and informed them that they had an incoming call.
“It’s from... ko… ko… ha… ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE! Kokubuji!” she declared.
“Sumomo. God bless you.” followed Chii. Shinbo instructed the little persocom to put the call through.
“Guys… I have news…” Hideki still found it unnerving to hear Minoru’s voice coming out of Sumomo. “The ‘hero brothers’ – Jester and Vendetta? There the guys behind all this! Yuzuki has been sneezing all day, and unable to find the virus code itself, but she did catch an email that was being sent through her net connection. It was automated, and contained all of her access codes and password hacks. What’s more I recognize the address it was going to - it’s theirs. Whatever you do… be careful! … ha… haaaAAAAH-CHOOIE!” Sumomo sneezed just as the connection went out.
“Hmmm…” Shinbo thought for a moment. “OK… we’ll go ahead and check them out anyway, but let me do the talking. I have a plan.”
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you, Chii. No problem Shinbo. I’ll follow your lead.”
They climbed the staircase and knocked on the apartment door. A man who looked like he had been well dressed just a short while ago, but now looked disheveled, answered the door. A younger man who looked like all he was missing was a skateboard sat behind him. “Can I help you?” the formerly well dressed man asked.
“Well, we were….” Shinbo began.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!” The man eyes went wise when he saw Chii and heard her sneeze. When he tried to slam the door, Hideki decided that Shinbo’s plan wasn’t working out. He kicked the door as hard as he could and sent the man sprawling.
Hideki was on him in an instant, grabbing him up by the lapels and pinning him against the wall. Compared to the cows he’d spent his life pulling around, this skinny hacker felt about as soft and light as a pillow. He raised his fist and paused as the man cowered. Shinbo could tell by the look on Hideki face that, if he was going to salvage this situation, he was going to have to act fast.
“He’s a farm boy, you know.” he began calmly. “Yep, those guys sure are strong. It’s all that manly work they spend 18 hours of every day doing. Yep, I’m pretty sure he could just tear you guys apart without even breaking a sweat. It’s too bad too; he’s really a nice guy. But you… ah… messed with his persocom, and he’s really protective of her. You recognize her?”
“Y-Yeah.” It was the skater on the couch. “W-What do you want?”
Hideki still had the other subdued, so Shinbo continued. “Ok – first, nothing’s going to happen until you fix this mess! Then, we’re going to have the farm boy here toss all of these computers right out that window. NO, NO! Don’t even try to stop him! It’s either that… or we turn it all over to the authorities and let them find out what’s on these machines.” Shinbo was bluffing at this point. He really had no idea what the authorities might find, but since he had the upper hand, he thought he press them a little.
“OK. O-K. I’ve got the removal program here. But it’s only for her… she’ll have to transmit it somehow… it’s just like the virus… it won’t transfer on its own.
“hah…ah…hatchoo! Excuse me!”
“Bless you Chii! Are you ready to get rid of that virus?” Shinbo was pretty happy with himself at this point.
“Chii!” answered the persocom.
The brother’s used their custom transmitter to upload the anti-virus. What happened next came as a shock to everyone, even the two brothers who had some idea of Chii’s capability. She looked around the room, and then asked in a deep, clear voice that didn’t sound like her at all, “Are you the two that tried to violate me?”
“Y-Yes.” Both brothers stammered, clearly frightened.
“I need your system to transmit the counter. I regret to inform you that all of your data is about to be… destroyed.”
Chii raised her hands and pointed both arms at the desktops, and servers. As she spread her fingers, what looked like miniature bolts of lightning flew from them, as a golden light seems to shine from all over her body. She floated a foot into the air and her hair moved like waves in the ocean, a golden tide cascading down the shores of her back. After a minute the light dimmed. All of the computers were fried as well as the modems and even the wires connecting the system to the ‘net. Chii looked up and in the same clear voice said, “All data has been deleted. Anti-virus has been transmitted to all persocoms.” When the light went out completely, she fell to the floor.
Hideki finally released his captive and ran over to pick Chii up. She was not heavy, so he knew she had not stopped functioning. She opened her eyes and in her own, child-like voice said “Chii! Hideki! Chii is OK.” The ‘hero brothers’ were almost in tears as they surveyed the damage to their system, and determined it was completely trashed.
“Look on the bright side…” Shinbo taunted, “Now you won’t have to watch us throw it out the window, and we won’t have to turn you into the police either. Come on gang. Let’s go home.”
--------------------
Hideki woke the next day staring directly into the sun, beaming though his untreated window.
“HAAAArchoo!” His photic sneeze woke up Chii.
“Hideki! God bless you. Hideki has energy this morning!”
Although he did, and he was still embarrassed by Chii pointing it out, he had to admit he was going to miss hearing her sneeze... Even if it did cause him to have some slightly visible “energy.”
Monday, October 17, 2011
Wandering from the Path (Mahou Sensei Negima!)
A Mahou Sensei Negima! Fanfic
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Ken Akamatsu
The Mirror of Eirsed is the property of J.K. Rowling
After a long day of lecturing and several hours spent in the office grading papers, 10 year old Professor Negi Springfield finally arrived at the dorm room he shared with two of his students, Asuna Kagurazaka and Konoka Konoe. He wanted nothing more than to drop into his bed and get a good night's sleep, but as he opened the door, careful not to wake his dorm mates, he noticed a small envelope on the floor. It was a letter, and he could sense the hint of enchantment it bore. Assuming it was from his sister back in Whales, he opened it without even noticing that there was no return address. Expecting the familiar image of his older sister to rise off of the page, he was shocked by what he saw instead.
Rising from the page was what looked like a ghost, except it was all black. After getting over his surprise, he realized that it was the figure of a man in a long black cloak. The cowl was drawn low over the man’s face and Negi could not see his features. The dark figure spoke:
“Professor Negi Springfield,
Due to certain constrains relative to my security, I am afraid that I am unable to introduce myself, but rest assured that I am a friend and I want to help you. You are searching for something… someone, to be more precise. I have no knowledge or skill that can help you, but I know where you may be able to find something that can. If you are interested in learning more, go the club known as Seppuku on the same night that you arrive in Kyoto. Once you are there, I will find you.”
As if the figure’s dark demeanor and mysterious tone were not enough to make Negi feel ill at ease, moments after the ghostly figure finished his message, the page ignited and was consumed almost instantly in purple flame. Neither of his dorm mates, nor his ermine familiar, Kamo, were awakened by the letter or the flame. It also made Negi nervous that the man apparently knew so much about him. He was searching for someone: his father, whom he had seen only once in his entire life that he could remember - outside of old photographs. ‘Something that can… Help me?’ he pondered to himself. Although exhausted, sleep was slow to come as he kept replaying the mysterious message over and over in his mind. They left for their class trip to Kyoto the day after tomorrow.
--------------------
Saturday normally meant a half day of classes but, since they were leaving for Kyoto the following day, classes were cancelled. As they sat down to lunch, Negi decided it would be wise to enlist the help of his friend Asuna, with who he shared one of several Pactio contracts. He told her about the letter and asked what she thought about it.
Asuna answered him in a whisper to avoid anyone overhearing. “Sounds dangerous if you ask me. You remember what happened last time right? It could be a trap.”
“I’m sure it is quite dangerous, but I’ve already made up my mind to go. I want you to help me.”
Asuna was quite surprised. It was not often that Negi actually asked for help. “W-What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to come with me, but to stay out of sight. I’ll activate the contract before we go into the club. You keep your distance, but look sharp. If anything happens, you come in a flash to back me up!” Negi’s enthusiasm gave Asuna the impression that he thought he was the first person to ever think up something like that.
“There is one problem… The 10 foot sword – fan – thingy that comes out when I use the card or you activate the contract? Might attract a little attention.”
“Hmmm… You’re right.” Negi was disappointed in himself, not having spotted something so obvious. It did occur to him however that his student was rather clever for having seen it. “Well… if you attracted attention, maybe we could bring someone else… Someone who would not attract attention. They could be our element of surprise!”
Asuna thought for a moment. She still had her misgivings, and didn’t like the idea of playing decoy, which felt too much to her like being the bait, but she had to admit: this plan did have some potential.
“OK. I’m surprised you actually want more students along, but of those you have contracts with… Bookworm for sure. She’s so quiet, she could escape your attention in an empty room.” ‘Bookworm’ was the nickname of Nodoka Miyazaki, a shy mouse of a girl, with enormous courage despite, and rather a large crush on Negi, though she was practically phobic about most other men and boys. Although he was hesitant to put Nodoka in danger, he had to admit she was a natural choice. She was quiet and, when her contract was activated she received a journal whose pages displayed the thoughts and intentions of whomever she asked it to. That made her the perfect lookout.
“…And if bookworm comes you’ll need Yue as well – someone who can keep a cool head in case something goes wrong. Bookworm will freak if she’s faced with a pressure situation.” Negi wasn’t so sure about that, but Yue Ayase was also a natural choice to partner with Nodoka. They were best friends and Yue always kept her cool in any situation.
“Now… I might need some help in the front line, so… Setsuna.” The list was getting longer than Negi planned, but again Setsuna Sakurazaki was a master sword maiden in the Shinmei-ryu and stealth was one of her specialties. Although he was already straining to keep everyone’s role strait in his head, Asuna was still adding to the roster.
“As a second lookout you also can’t beat Asakura… and Fei Ku would be perfect for…”
“No, I think that will do Asuna.” Negi interrupted her gently. “You, Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna will be my backup. That should work out swimmingly. Thank you. I knew I could count on you for advice.”
“Eh… thanks.” Seeing as this was the first time he’d ever asked her ‘advice’ she was a bit confused by his reaction. “By the way, you told me you were meeting with this suspicious guy, but you never told me why.”
“He can help me find my father.” Negi’s reply quashed any idea’s Asuna might have had about trying to talk him out of it. “We’ll approach the others once we’re in Kyoto. Oh… and… if for some reason Nodoka and Yue can’t go with us, Asakura would be a good second choice as a lookout. Fei could fill in for Setsuna as well. Good thinking.”
Asuna was surprised. His mind was racing and yet he still managed to not only listen to what she was saying, but actually used her idea, even after he had essentially turned it down. ‘For a little brat, he’s pretty sharp,’ Asuna thought to herself as they finished lunch.
--------------------
Back in the Dean’s office, Professor Takamichi Takahata had been called in to discuss an important matter with Dean Konoe.
“The Mirror of Erised has been located.” The ancient man said in his slow, creaky voice. “It’s in Kyoto.”
“Hmmm… That could complicate things. Do you think he’ll…?”
“He already knows.”
“Then should we warn Negi?”
“Yes… Yes, I think it is important that he be warned… But be careful with your words Takahata-sensei. The youth’s desire to find his father is strong. If he gets the wrong idea… Your warning may backfire. Make sure to tell him everything he needs to know, but nothing more.”
“You can count on me, Dean Konoe.”
Takahata-sensei had known Negi since he was a very little boy, and had also known his father, Nagi, the ‘Thousand Master,’ quite well. They had been close friends, and he missed him deeply. He caught up to Negi on his way back from lunch.
“Hello there, Negi! How are you doing?”
“Takamichi! I’m feeling splendid! How are you?”
“Fine, fine. Are you all packed and ready for the trip? I’m excited myself, I’ll be able to go with everyone this year!” Takahata had been sent on diplomatic errand by Dean Konoe during the previous trip to Kyoto, and missed it.
“Just about, yes. I can’t wait to get back. I might actually get to visit some of the temples this time! With the business last time, I didn’t have even a minute to play tourist!” Although he hadn’t been there, Takahata knew about the trouble they had with the Hogakio clan, and their uprising against the Kansai Magic Association.
“Yeah, about the trip… There’s something I need to discuss with you.” For a moment Negi’s feared that he was going to be told he wouldn’t be able to go. “Do you know about the Mirror of Erised?”
No longer in danger of missing the trip, Negi regained his composure. “Uh… Sure, it’s a legend. A mirror that shows you whatever you want.”
“Well… that’s almost right. The mirror shows the viewer nothing more or less than his heart’s most desperate desire. And it’s no legend… in fact, it’s been found.”
“Really? My word! To think of it… But… why are you telling me about this?”
“Dean Konoe asked me to talk to you about it. We wanted to warn you about it. To make sure you knew that nothing could ever be gained by looking into that mirror. No wisdom has ever been found there, and so tempting are its images that even great men have wasted away sitting in front of it. If you ever want to actually find what your heart desires, you should not be tempted to look there. Please Negi. Promise me that if you hear anything else about it, that you’ll stay away.”
“OK… I promise… But… my heart’s most… You mean to see my…”
“Yes. It will show him to you, but that’s it. It won’t reunite you, nor will the mirror tell you anything about him. You must understand this.”
“I do. Although I thought it was only a legend, I wouldn't have considered using something like that. You don’t have to worry about me!” The whole conversation struck Negi as a bit odd, since he had no intention of taking on a quest anytime soon.
“Although I trust your word, there’s something else I need to tell you. Although the mirror itself is useless, it is located in a temple that houses many other treasures. These are all guarded with dangerous and deadly enchantments. If you went in there to get the mirror despite your promise to me, you’ll probably get yourself killed.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me! I don’t plan to do anything dangerous on this trip!” Negi thought of the cloaked man, but there was nothing dangerous about talking to someone, he reasoned, especially with four of his friends keeping an eye out. ‘But why do you need a lookout out if it’s not dangerous?’ his conscious asked him.
--------------------
The trip to Kyoto was uneventful, and once all of the girls were checked into the hotel, Negi and Asuna sought out Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna. The five of them disappearing into the night did not escape the attention of Kazumi Asakura – the school’s resident paparazzi, who also shared a Pactio with Negi. She spied on them from a distance, but missed the first part of the conversation.
“So that’s it really.” Negi had just finished telling the four girls whatever it was he had called them away for. “Will you help me?”
“I am hesitant to leave lady Konoe unprotected, especially considering what happened last year, but I will do so for one night. I’ll have Mana fill in for me. Don’t worry… I won’t tell her what we’re doing. Just that I’ll need to be away.” Setsuna Sakurazaki was duty bound to protect the life of Konoka Konoe even at the cost of her own. She was often assisted in this duty by her classmate Mana Tatsumiya a capable shrine maiden and demon hunter.
“Um… It sounds dangerous… and… well… I’m afraid, but I’ll protect… I mean… I’ll go.” Despite her timid tone there was no limit to Nodoka’s courage, especially when it came to Negi.
“If bookworm’s going, you’ll need me. If anything happens she’ll wet her pants.” Yue teased her friend in a cool, even tone.
“Hey!” Yue’s gentle taunt managed to cement Nodoka’s resolve.
As the five started into town, they separated to increase the chance that some of them would go unnoticed. As they did this Asakura, also unseen, drew her Pactio from her vest pocket. She activated it and used the camera that appeared to snap five quick pictures of her friends, just in case she’d need them for later. As she snuck after the group, she didn’t notice that she herself was being followed.
--------------------
“How many are with him?” The dark figure asked, coming out onto the balcony.
“The red-head with the Bells in her hair is following him at a distance. She was his minister last time… And someone’s following her, but somehow… I don’t think they know she is.” answered the young girl in the pink dress.
“Well. Nothing should happen tonight, but wait here just in case, and make a note if you see anyone else.”
“Hai!”
The cloaked figure withdrew and crossed the street to the club Seppuku.
The inside of the club was dark, with pulsating lights. Smoke hung in the air and while there was music playing, the dance floor remained empty for the moment. Negi entered apprehensively and took his seat at a table facing the door. Asuna sat down on the opposite side of the room and made no effort to hide the fact that she was watching him. (Carrying the large Harisen that was summoned upon activating her Pactio card, she was hard to miss.) Setsuna reached the back alleyway unnoticed and slipped in through the rear. Neither Negi nor Asuna were aware of where she was and no one else noticed as Yue and Nodoka entered, taking a seat towards the back of the club. Once settled, Nodoka activated her Pactio card and was now trying to locate Negi’s contact using the journal.
Negi recognized the figure’s cloak from the letter, but still couldn’t see his face. “Hello, Negi Springfield. I am here to help you in your quest.”
“I’m not on a quest.” Negi answered, somewhat annoyed sounding. “You said you had something that could help me find my…”
“...Father. Yes. I do. Tell me… have you ever heard of the mirror of Erised?”
Negi felt deflated. All this preparation and anticipation and the only thing this mysterious looking charlatan had to offer was smoke and mirrors. “Not interested.” Negi answered flatly and got up to leave.
“I wouldn’t leave so quickly.” said the dark figure in a deep, steady voice. “I see that you know of it, but what exactly do you know. What have you been told?”
Negi paused, but did not yet take his seat. Standing up, at least he was looking eye to eye with the cloaked man. “It shows you your heart’s deepest desire. Nothing more. It’s useless as a tool for knowledge.”
“Heh-heh-heh… But what if knowledge was in fact your heart’s most desperate desire?” As he pondered this, Negi didn’t even realize that he’d sat down again. “For you, your heart’s desire may be to see your father again. Easy enough, and you are right – no knowledge can be gained from the mirror that way. But what if you trained your heart… what if you truly believed that what you wanted so desperately was to know where your father was?”
Negi felt as though he’d had the wind knocked out of him. Could the mirror tell him that? Why didn’t Takahata tell him? “My mentor told me that no wisdom could be gained from it. Are you saying he lied to me?”
“No, my boy. But many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Your mentor was simply telling you the truth as he knew it. But his knowledge was incomplete, and this is because so few have had the necessary wisdom and discipline to wield the mirror properly. Are you willing to take the risk? Great men have wasted away sitting in front of it.” Takahata’s exact words. Was Negi being tested?
“Go on. Tell me how this would work.”
“As I said, you must possess both discipline and wisdom in great abundance. You need discipline to control your heart. The heart is simple, basic. It wants only to see your father again. But you must convince it that what it really wants is to know where your father is. You will then need wisdom to discern his location from the details in the pictures you are presented with.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well… The mirror won’t just come out and tell you where he is, but… Are there Mountains in the background? Are they snow capped? Do you see any rare flora? Is there a river nearby? All of these details will help narrow down the possible locations. If you comeback in a day and he’s now in the desert, then the desert must be close to the mountains you saw. Can you see the ocean in the background? All of these are subtle clues that will, in fact, impart great knowledge… But only if you have the discipline to conjure them and the wisdom to interpret them. It won’t be easy, or quick, but you may get something that will shorten your search.”
‘I’m sorry Takamichi,’ Negi thought to himself, ‘but I’m going to have to break that promise I made to you.’ “Do you know where it is?”
“Yes. It's in a temple, not far from here... deep in the catacombs. I have this ancient map…” He handed a rolled parchment to Negi, who took it with great care. “You must be able to detect and dispel barrier enchantments as well as disarm magical traps.”
“I think we… I mean I can handle that.” Negi could almost feel the dark figure’s smile, having given up information he’d have preferred not to.
“And there are Stone Golems inside… you must be prepared to fight them.”
Negi just nodded, not wanting to give away any more information.
“But most importantly of all… The air inside the catacombs is dense with a certain type of fungal spore. The body reacts very badly… inflammation… suffocation… death awaits all who would breathe them. You must protect yourself against that, and you must cast the spell in the entrance room of the temple.”
“Why…?” Negi thought this advice sounded a little too specific.
“The interior chamber of the Temple has powerful protections to prevent any magic from being used inside. If you wait until inside the catacombs, it will be too late, and if you cast the spell out in the street, even assuming it wouldn’t run out too soon, there would be witnesses. The entryway is poorly lit, and mostly cut off from view. You will not been seen or disturbed there. And it’s only a quick walk from there to the catacombs… the entrance is a hidden staircase behind the Altar. It’s a trap door, and should be easy enough to find, even without the use of your magic.”
“There is one problem…” He thought of Asuna. “One of my part… I mean my partner,” Negi was kicking himself again for given the man more free information, “well, she’s sort of immune to magic. How shall I protect her?”
“Hmmmm…” The man in the shadowy cloak thought quietly to himself for a while. “You practice the western magic, yes? If I may be so bold, may I ask you… is she your minister?”
“We have a contract, yes.”
“Well then that’s easy! Even if she’s a magic canceller, just activate the contract. Her magical shield will not prevent you from casting a protective spell on her while the contract is active.”
[Author’s Note: The aforementioned point may not be cannon. Please just go with it.]
“Wow… Thanks, I never knew… Wait a second. How do you know so much anyway? And why are you helping me? What do you want?”
“I will not tell you how I come by my information. I’m sorry. As for what I want… After you’re done... Once you are reunited with your father or, heaven forbid, find out that he has, beyond any doubt or recall, passed on… I will come for the Mirror. I want it… once it is no longer of any use to your present search.”
Negi was surprised by this. In the course of there conversation, while he could not see the man’s face, he did spy the end of a short beard, and the man’s whiskers were white. “But… it could take so long… and you’re so… so…”
“Old? Heh-heh-heh… Older than you could possibly guess. But have no fear - time is on my side. For you, however, or for your father, it can run out. Do we have a deal? Will you grant my wish, in exchange for what I have given you?”
“Well… Yes but… how do I know I can trust you? I do I know you won’t simply take it from me, once I have it?”
“My boy… If I had the strength, to defeat you… and your friends,” so he had picked up on that, Negi thought to himself, “I would simply go and get it myself. But that is beyond my power.”
“All right. I’ll do it.” Negi replied, as he thought to himself, ‘I’m so sorry, Takamichi.’
--------------------
While Negi was inside talking to the figure, Kazumi Asakura waited across the street from the club, trying to figure out what was going on inside. Through her camera, she could see Asuna, Nodoka and Yue. Setsuna had used a charm to hide herself, so there was no surprise that Asakura couldn’t see her, but something was also preventing her from seeing Negi. As she tried to get a better view, she was startled when something small, white and furry jumped from the bushes behind her and landed on her shoulder.
“HIYA SISTER!” Kazumi almost jumped out of her skin, but it was just Kamo, Negi’s ermine familiar.
Asakura scolded the little pest, in her valley-girl accent. “Oh – my – god… Kamo! You just, like, scared the hell out of me!”
“Well what’s going on? I can’t find the boss or the chief anywhere! I’m surprised to run into you here!”
“Professor Negi is inside but, like, I can’t see what’s going on. Bookworm and Yue are with him, so are, like, Asuna and Setsuna.”
“WHOA! He calls out the troops and doesn’t even tell me?! Oh boy! He’s gonna hear it when I get back!”
“Aaaah… No-o! You, like, can’t say any-thing about this! He doesn’t know I was, like, spying on him! If he needs our help then, like, it’s better if he doesn’t know we’re keeping tabs. We’ll round up, like, Mana, Kaede and Fei Ku. We can, like, be the reserves in case anything really bad happens.”
“Oh, MAN! OK, OK. I’ll keep quiet about it.”
The two then snuck back the hotel.
--------------------
After meeting with Negi, the cloaked man was the first of the two to leave. He knew that the boy had other helpers, but that didn’t concern him right now. Hopefully Tsukuyomi was doing her job, and making note of anyone roughly the age of Negi’s students who left the club. As he entered his own room across the street he was happy to see that she was still keeping watch from the balcony. In her pink, frilly, Lolita dress with that white bonnet hat and eyeglasses, just the slightest bit too big for her face, he found himself amazed that this delicate looking porcelain doll of a girl could be so deadly. He was not sure her exact age, but her body still looked undeveloped and her face was a balance of awkwardness and beauty, with just some a child’s cute features remaining, mingled with a subtle hint of the woman’s face she would one day possess.
“So… How many others?” The dark man asked his ally, as he sat down.
“Well, two more left the club after Negi and Bells. And although I didn’t see her, I’m sure that… Setsuna was with them.” There seemed to be the slightest bit of longing in her eyes as she said this.
“That’s the one from Shinmei-ryu?”
“Yes.”
“Your rival? Your… equal?”
Tsukuyomi looked downward and answered quietly. “Yes.”
“Have no fear. This time you shall have the advantage.” As he said this his gaze fell upon a potted plant in the corner of the room. A small cat came from behind it, crossed the room and leapt into the man’s lap.
“But what if your spell doesn’t work? What if they disarm the traps in the temple? You were paid to capture him! Not to go on some kind of…”
“Correction.” The man interrupted sternly. “I will be paid to capture him, and will get a bonus for the Shinmei-ryu and the Magic Canceller. And from that payment, you will be paid for your assistance. If he succeeds… then the temple will be open to us. I assure you there will be something in there that you would gladly take as compensation should my payment somehow… fall through. So my dear… even if my plan fails… we still win.”
“There was still the other one, taking… pictures of the club. I’m sure she was keeping watch, but I'm still not sure that they knew it.”
“As I thought.” The man concluded. “I sensed that someone was trying to break my detection barrier. It must have been her.” The cloaked man now stroked the small black cat in his lap.
--------------------
Once they were a good distance for the meeting place, the five friends joined up again. Negi wanted to know immediately what Nodoka’s Journal revealed about the man.
“Um… well… nothing. I couldn’t even locate him, even though he was right there in front of me!” Her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears.
“That’s OK Nodoka! At least we know he is a wizard of some kind! And that he’s powerful enough to shield his thoughts from your journal. That’s not a comforting thought, but it’s important to know!” Negi knew that they would have to be on their guard. What he hadn’t expected was to see Professor Takahata waiting for them in the Hotel lobby as they arrived, way past curfew. He didn’t look happy, but he remained quite calm.
“You girls are in trouble.” He said evenly. “Negi-sensei, where did you find them?” So he was still being treated like a teacher, Negi thought to himself. That was good, but he felt terrible about what he now had to do, in order to keep their little quest a secret from Takahata.
“I caught them trying to sneak into a dance club.” Negi felt his body temperature rise with such a bold lie. He wasn’t sure if Takahata bought it, but he could feel the waves of anger rising off of the girls at his betrayal.
“Well… In that case I’d say you girls should be confined to quarters for say… All day and all night tomorrow?”
Negi’s body heat now swelled as his heart started racing. He would need them tomorrow. Plus he knew Asuna’s punishment for him would be even worse if she was personally grounded by her crush, Professor Takahata.
“Aaaaaahh… Takamichi… don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? I mean…”
“No, Professor Springfield. Sneaking into a club underage is serious business. I’m being lenient not sending them home right this minute.” At that thought, Negi decided not to push his luck. He felt like an absolute heel getting the girls in trouble just for helping him, and then getting off scott free himself.
He whispered to Asuna “Don’t worry… I’ll get you all out of this.”
But the fire in her Blue and Green eyes spoke volumes. “You … are … so … dead!” she muttered back under her breath, her boiling rage making Negi feel smaller than he thought possible.
He couldn’t sleep a wink that night. He knew he had to sneak the girls out and sneak them back in… if they were caught breaking their confinement, the girls would be sent home, and he’d be force to admit to Takahata-sensei that he’d broken his promise and lied, rather profoundly.
--------------------
The next day passed without the girls getting even a message from Negi. The four girls were put in a single room as the chaperones took turns keeping watch in the hall. They were told not to socialize, and that they would be separated if they made any noise. By sunset, they had just about concluded that the quest was off.
“Come on,” Asuna whispered. “The little brat’s not coming. Let’s get ready for bed.”
“Oh Asuna…” Nodoka tried to keep her hopes up, she really wanted to spend time with Negi, especially doing something so exciting, but she didn’t know what else she could say.
“I mean the little runt betrayed us! He made me look like some kind of delinquent in front of Tak…” She cut herself off, blushing profusely. She wasn’t sure how many of them really knew about her infatuation with Takahata-sensei, but she hadn’t wanted to just blurt it out.
“Think about it, Asuna!” Setsuna whispered harshly. “What else could he do? He must have his reasons for keeping the quest a secret. We agreed to help him. So give him a chance to make it right. I’m sure he didn’t plan for things to work out that way. Truth be told…” she was immediately struck by the irony of this statement, “it was pretty quick thinking on the kid’s part.”
“Hmpft! Well I’m going to bed!” Asuna shot back quietly. “You all may as well do the same!”
Setsuna remained where she was but Asuna took off her tee shirt and folded her pants neatly on the bed before rummaging through her bag for her nightgown. Nodoka did the same.
“I gotta pee.” Yue said, and went into the bathroom. She left the door open, in case anyone still wanted to talk. Since she was behind the wall, she reasoned, it was not as if anyone could see.
--------------------
While the young hostages stewed in their makeshift prison, Negi stood on the edge of the roof. He’d spent the entire day brewing four flying potions. It wasn’t easy, given the time constraints, but he was sure they would work. He mounted his staff, and flew in a wide arc towards the window to the girl’s room. Seeing it was open he figured he would fly right in. ‘It would be like making an almost… heroic entrance,’ he thought to himself.
“I’m here!” He whispered loudly, as he landed in the middle of the room.
“Eek!” Nodoka let out the tiniest scream as she tried to cover up with nothing to use except her own two hands. She stood directly right in front of him wearing only a small a-cup bra and narrow pair of candy-striped panties. While Nodoka was embarrassed beyond all reckoning, the sight of her stunned the young Negi into a state of near paralysis.
‘Oh. And there’s Asuna…’ his mind told him in a stupid sounding sing-song voice. ‘She’s not even wearing a bra and… oh look… she must have bought another pair of those teddy bear underpants I accidentally disintegrated on her that one time...’ In his shocked and confused state this all seemed like a happy dream. Although the image shifted to nightmarish rather quickly, the happy narration still played in his head.
‘My word, Asuna does not look happy at all.’ He thought, his mind still speaking to him in the same dull, sing-song tone. ‘Oh my… she looks even madder than before. My word… is she going to…’
*&$% POW @#$% !
‘… hit … me … ?’
Negi tumbled accross the room from the force of the blow, landing in the small hallway in front of the door. He gained consciousness just in time to look up and see a very surprised Yue, sitting with her panties down around her ankles. Whatever else he might have seen, from his vantage point below her on the floor, was consumed by darkness as he fainted.
‘So… indigo… then…’ was the last thought he had before going limp.
--------------------
“Ne-gi…? Ne-gi…?” It was the sweet sound of Nodoka’s voice. Negi came to and looked up to find himself surrounded by the four girls, thankfully fully dressed this time. “Oh! You’re OK. Thank God!” Negi sat up…
“No…doka?” The image of her trembling, half-naked body threatened to creep back into his mind, but he pushed it away. They had work to do. He explained to them what it was they were actually seeking, and showed the girls the flying potions which luckily had not been broken as a result of Asuna’s attack. At the end he explained why he had lied to Takahata. Yue and Setsuna seemed to understand. Nodoka looked disappointed. Asuna was furious.
“So not only do you make me look like some kind of miscreant in front of Professor Takahata, but you lied and broke your promise to him as well?! Why the hell should we help you anyway?!” If Negi didn’t know better he’d swear her long orange pigtails looked as if they were on fire.
Negi thought for a moment… “Asuna… What is your heart’s most desperate desire?” A voice whispered in Negi’s conscious, but he ignored it.
“Huh…? Me…? I… uh… well… you know…” Asuna stammered. She couldn’t just come out and say it, could she? ‘What the hell?’ she thought, ‘Is the little runt trying to embarrass me some more?!’
Negi continued, in a knowing tone of voice. “You may think it’s that certain person but…” The voice in Negi’s conscious was practically screaming at him to stop talking. “… Are you sure it’s not to find a way to make him… love you?” Once said, the voice in Negi’s head went silent.
“Eek.” A small cry escape Nodoka, but Asuna just stared at him.
After a few seconds, she answered him. “Let’s go.”
--------------------
The five friends crept through dark, back alleys trying to avoid the main street as they made there way to the temple. Once Setsuna was convinced the coast was clear, they went through the massive double doors at the front of the temple. As they waited quietly in the entryway, hearts pounding, Negi began the incantation that would protect them from the deadly spores in the catacombs.
“Activate the contract for Asuna Kagurazaka, Setsuna Sakuazaki, Yue Ayase and Nodoka Miyazaki for one hour.” All four girls felt themselves powering up. Negi felt drained, but continued with the spell. “Inkipium confestum muys magica… Allergium prohibitus totallus!” The last word echoed in the chamber, but the blue light that Negi expected to rise up and engulf them instead seems to slough off of them and fall to the floor. He was sure he’d done the incantation correctly, but felt uneasy about it. “Um… perhaps we should try that again?”
“Meow.” The four girls were startled by the sound of a black cat coming from the shadows. It started rubbing itself against Asuna’s legs, purring as it went.
“Ha-hah. It’s just a ca… ca… caHAHT-SHOOO!”
“Asuna please!” Negi cried, more startled by the sneeze than by the cat. “Not so loud! We’re not supposed to be here! We need to keep…”
“Hey… I th… though that incanta… a… ation was supposed to protect us from th-this kind… of… thing…ing… HAHT-SHOO!” Negi knew something went wrong with the spell; the ethereal flow didn’t look right at all. Nodoka went over to pick up the cat, as Asuna was to busy rubbing her nose and trying to get away, with nowhere to go in the small room.
“I didn’t know you were aller… aller… gic… to… ca… eSHOO!” Nodoka’s cute, high pitched sneeze was not nearly as loud as Asuna’s, but it reverberated in the nearly silent temple none the less.
“I’m… n-not… HAHT-SHOO!” Every breath Asuna took increased her urge to sneeze. The cat left the two and walked past Yue.
“aaaAAAAHHH-choo!” Yue’s sneeze was deep and throaty. The cat continued past Setsuna.
“Some… S… Something went wr...wrong w-with th-the s-spell… eh… EHTChoo!” Although she was bent over, she was pointing upwards. The group saw a small paper charm stuck to the ceiling. Negi couldn’t read most of it, but he recognized one of the Kanji: REVERSE.
“It’s a tra… aaa… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” As always happened when Negi sneezed his air magic went out of control. The gale force wind blew up all of the girl’s skirts, despite their best efforts to hold them down. Needless to say, while he was the smallest of the group, even slightly smaller than Yue, his sneeze was far and away the loudest. “…trap! Oh dear me… I’m terribly sorry.” Four faces glared back at him, looking simultaneously embarrassed and annoyed.
The cat left the entranceway and the group pulled desperately at the door… but it wouldn’t budge. Setsuna drew her sword to cut it down.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” called a deep voice from the middle of the temple. It belonged to the dark figure Negi had met with earlier. Standing next to him was a tween-aged looking girl in a frilly pink dress, wearing eyeglasses and a wide brimmed bonnet-hat, and wielding a sword almost identical to Setsuna’s. Her other hand was behind her back. Setsuna recognized her immediately, and remembered that she’d also used a dagger in their last encounter.
“W-Why n-not?” Setsuna tried to sound threatening, but her voice wavered and betrayed her as she struggled against another sneeze.
“There’s an explosive rune on the other side. If you strike through the door… it will detonate, killing you… and your friends. Ent-Golem! Necoyokai!” On that command the black cat walked towards him, growing larger as it did. Although the shadows obscured the transformation, by the time it reached the cloaked man, it was standing upright, roughly six feet tall – a cat demon. With their itchy noses the group was dreading even more what was already an unwelcome surprise. The next thing they saw filled them with despair.
Lumbering out of the shadows from the back end of the temple, standing nearly twelve feet tall, was what looked like a giant, woven out of ragweed bushes. Coarse vines stuck out where tendons would be, and tree limbs substituted for bones. Fine dust seemed to shake off the monstrosity with every step as he shambled up behind the man in black. His mere presence was causing their eyes to water and there noses to run liberally.
“Now… you can surrender now, and I will ease your suffering while we wait for my clients, or you can try to fight… in which case you will only suffer more.” There was no decision to be made. Setsuna and Asuna charged, while Negi, Nodoka and Yue began their incantations.
Asuna engaged the Ent-Golem, while Setsuna crossed swords once again with her Shinmei-Ryu rival, Tsukuyomi. The attack was fierce – she knew she would have to end it quickly, but it was hard to concentrate with her eyes tearing up and her nose in a constant state of over-sensitivity. Their blades clashed, but Tsukuyomi kept her left hand behind her. ‘I can’t forget about the dagger…’ Setsuna thought to herself. Seeing an opening, Setsuna pinned Tsukuyomi against a bench. Unfortunately, she could no longer move herself, or her opponent would free herself. It took almost all her strength to maintain the hold, but she had just enough leverage to raise her other hand in defense as Tsukuyomi’s hidden hand flashed from behind her back. When Setsuna caught it mid-air, it did not possess a dagger, as she had expected, but a long feather. Despite her best efforts, with a quick manipulation of her fingers, Setsuna’s opponent angled the feather downward and gently tickled her nose with the end of it, smiling mischievously all the while.
“H-Hey… N-No… eh… EHTChoo!” The sneeze momentarily sapped her strength and she was pushed off by her opponent, who continued her attack, this time striking with both sword and feather. Every swipe of the feather caused Setsuna to sneeze again, breaking her concentration. The fight was quickly going against her.
Meanwhile, Asuna had her plate full with the Ent-Golem. She held her hands on opposite ends of her Harisen, as she tried to push back against the creature’s relentless assault.
“HAHT-SHOO! Hey! ha… HAHT-SHOO! How about some h-help over here?” She looked back at the three diminutive Wizards, desperately trying to complete their incantations, but between the sniffling and sneezing, noone could get the complicated wording out properly. “HAHT-SHOO! Oh man!”
The Golem was pushing her into a corner. Her eyes stung and her nose felt as if ants were crawling around inside it. With one more sneeze, she pushed back and gave herself enough room to launch a counter offensive. One strike… Another… Another… she knocked more pollen of the creature with every blow as she drove it back. At this point she wrote off getting any help from Negi and the others. With the Golem on the ropes she raised her weapon to strike the finishing blow when the Cat-Demon flew past her.
With her left paw, she shredded the front of Asuna’s shirt, giving her several lacerations on her torso as she flew by. One of her claws caught the front of Asuna’s bra, severing the fabric holding the two cups together. While this was both embarrassing and painful, it would not have been enough to break Asuna’s attack on the Golem… but she was struck in the nose by the cat-demon's tail. At this point, already off balance having drawn back her Harisen, the sneeze took out her last bit of concentration.
“HAHT-SHOOO!” With her eyes closed, she never saw it coming.
* WHAM *
What felt like a tree trunk slammed into her, sending her sprawling across the floor. She hit her head, breaking an urn as she landed, and fell unconscious.
The entire time this was happening, the Dark figure just stood and watched while Negi tried to ready an attack spell meant for him, and Yue and Nodoka tried to act as artillery for Asuna against the Ent-Golem.
“Inkipium confestum we… we… we… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” Every hurricane force sneeze that Negi issued just served to spread more pollen and dander into the air.
“aaaAAAAHHH-choo! *sniff* This is n-no good Negi! aaaAAAAHHH-choo!” Yue, normally cool in any situation, sounded almost panicky. Since they were inside, she could not use her broom to call lightning, and she could not string two words together without sneezing.
“Inkip… eSHOO! Ink… Ink… In… eSHOO!” Tears ran from Nodoka’s eyes, although she was not crying. She tried to think of the shortest spell she knew, but nothing came to mind that would be of any use here. If any of them got even close to completing a spell that dratted cat demon flew by, with its claws and tail. Once Asuna fell however, their fight ended quickly as the Golem swept up all three with a single blow of its mighty limb.
Finally it was down to Setsuna. “*sniff* eh… EHTChoo!” She knew it was coming, she left her sword open on that one, and her grip was too light.
* CLANG *
Tsukuyomi sent Setsuna’s sword flying, and then came back with the feather.
“Ack! *sniff* eh… eh… EHTChoo!” Her eyes were now closed.
* THUD *
Tsukuyomi drove an open, flat hand into Setsuna’s chin as hard as she could. Setsuna fell. “Wow. I’ve finally defeated you! I don’t believe it!” Setsuna, looking up from the ground, heard the girl’s gloating, but could not respond. The world went dark as her head dropped to the floor.
--------------------
When they came to, the group found themselves disarmed and bound. Their hands were tied behind them, to their ankles and they were lined up along a wall in an uncomfortable kneeling position. Most of there clothes were in tatters from the fight. The man in the black cloak and the girl in the pink dress had left, and the Ent-Golem was also nowhere to be seen. Necoyokai was the only visible guard left. She was back the form of a small black housecat, but there was little doubt in the captives’ minds that it was the same cat-demon they’d fought before – its voice hadn’t changed.
“I’m bored.” The small cat said, in a high-pitched and whiny tone.
It pounced up on Nodoka’s lap, and to her dismay, Nodoka discovered that the botched protection spell was still very much in effect. The tickle in her nose started with her first, hitched breath.
“Oh… *sniff*… K-Kitty… *sniff* please…” Necoyokai dragged it tail gently across the end of Nodoka’s pink, runny nose, overwhelming any defenses she had left. “eSHOO! *sniff* eSHOO! eSHOO! *sniff* eSHOO-OO! Oh… Please kitty… eSHOO!”
The cat jumped from Nodoka to Yue, who looked strait ahead, remaining as still as stone. The look on her face was one of casual indifference. The demon-cat gave Yue the same treatment as Nodoka, running its tail under her nose. Yue didn’t even blink.
“Oh come one!” The demon-cat demanded. “You're no fun!” She tried few more twitches of her tail, but the only response from Yue was a single tear from her left eye running down her cheek. She didn’t even seem to notice it.
“Oooooh… Playing it cool, huh? That’s OK. I like a challenge.” The cat demon began pacing over Yue’s lap, keeping its tail pointed upwards the entire time. Looking back, it noticed Yue eyes narrow every so slightly. Then her lips parted as she fought the urge to sneeze. The demon cat now began lightly batting her nose with its tail. Yue’s irritated nostrils flared as she drew a long, sharp breath.
“aaaaaAAAAAAHHH-choo!”
“Gotcha! That was fun!”
She then jumped from Yue to Asuna, who had no intentions of begging, like Nodoka or of trying to play it cool, like Yue. The instant the beast landed on her, she began bucking and hopping about, trying to throw it off of her. This hurt her wrists and ankles like hell, but she refused to give her jailor any satisfaction. “Get off of me you little…”
As Asuna pitched and struggled, the demon-cat extended her claws into Asuna’s thighs in an effort to hold on.
“OW! You bi…”
“If you don’t want the claws then… SIT… STILL!” Asuna stopped fighting, but leaned back, trying to get her face out of range of the cat’s tail. This plan backfired, as the cat simply leapt up onto her shoulders. She briefly considered trying to throw her off again, but she could feel just the slightest poke from the cat’s claws through her shirt and reconsidered. She didn’t exactly want it taking a swipe at her face.
“What the…?! W-Why don’t y-you j-just go aw…aw…away… ay… HAHT-SHOO!”
“What? Aren’t you enjoying this?” The cat’s innocent tone made it sound even crueler. “I need to do something to pass the time.”
“Well… HAHT-SHOO! Why do you go chase a… a… HAHT-SHOO! mouse or go lick your backside or some… some… HAHT-SHOO! something!”
“Lick my…?! Why you!”
Necoyokai now started doing what could only be described as laps around Asuna’s head. She made sure to drag her entire body across the whole of Asuna’s face. Asuna could feel the beast’s claws digging in to her chest and shoulders, in order to hold on while navigating the awkward circuit. After several minutes, during which Asuna’s sneezing was about as steady and constant as her breathing should have been, the cat jumped down and eyed Setsuna. Asuna fell over and lay on her side on the ground. Her nose was bright read and ran like a stream. Her eyes were also red and nearly swollen shut. She breathed through her mouth, with a raspy sound, and didn’t have an ounce of fight left in her. Negi felt like crying at the sight of his dear, if somewhat violent-tempered, friend in this state.
When the cat landed on Setsuna she, like Yue, showed no response. “You too, huh? Oh well.”
She went to work, pacing across her lap, running her tail across her nose, but got no response from the disciplined warrior-girl.
“Hmmm… you’re good! I can see why Tsukuyomi has such a crush on you.” At hearing those words, Setsuna felt her body temperature rise a few degrees, but it didn’t show. The cat jumped up of her shoulders. It stretched around behind her head; poking its face around one side and nuzzling the right side of her nose, while her tail reached around the other side tickle her from the left.
“Still nothing?” It asked sounding both innocent and disappointed. Setsuna stared directly ahead. Yue was immensely impressed by her discipline. Asuna was far too miserable to notice. Nodoka was looking at Negi, who had changed from looking sad to angry, though his voice still sounded as it he was on the verge of tears.
“STOP IT!” he screamed. “JUST STOP IT!” He was crying now. He knew that this was all his fault: That’s he’d lied and broken his promise, to his friend and mentor no less; and that he’d led the girls into danger for purely selfish reasons. He sobbed openly as tears ran down his face. This sight broke Nodoka’s heart, but she didn’t cry herself, trying to be strong for this boy, who she loved.
“You want some? You want your’s now?” The cat jumped down from Setsuna’s shoulders, having been unable to elicit even a sniff. It made its way over to Negi.
“You think you can talk to me like that? You think you’re important? You’re just a kid. A brat, just like them!” She wasted no time in getting up on Negi’s shoulder and rubbing her head against his nose, oblivious to the danger she was putting herself in.
“aahh… haaaaaahhh… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” The wind blew the cat demon across the floor. It rolled to a stop having been forced it back into it bipedal human-hybrid form. The girl’s tattered shirts were also blown upwards in the breeze, but as his eyes were closed, the girls were spared another embarrassing exposure.
Negi had hoped his sneeze would have knocked the cat-demon unconscious, but she seemed relatively unharmed. Seeming a bit annoyed however, she stomped back to Negi and, taking him by the back of his shirt, dragged his about halfway across the room and dumped him unceremonious on his side. “You’ll stay over here.” She said tersely.
Necoyokai went back to torturing the four girls, although her efforts on Setsuna were still frustrated. After several minutes of this, the man in the cloak and Tsukuyomi returned.
“Come, we have much to discuss.” The cloaked figure said to the Cat-demon in an authoritative voice as he passed. “Is the spell still in effect?”
“On everyone except the Shinmei-Ryu, it seems.” Necoyokai answered.
Tsukuyomi approached Setsuna with the same mischievous glint her eye as earlier. “Oh….?” She withdrew the long feather for its holder on her belt and rapidly tickled the end of Setsuna’s nose with it. The response was strong and immediate.
“Oh… ah… no… eh… eh… EHTChoo! EHTChoo! eh… EHTChoo!” Setsuna was helpless to resist.
“I’d say it’s still very much in effect.” Tsukuyomi concluded in a highly satisfied tone. The cat-demon seemed simultaneously impressed and disappointed, as the three went into a room in the back of the temple, leaving the five captives unguarded. Each struggled against their bonds but after several minutes none were able to free themselves.
“Girls…” Negi began, “I can’t begin to say how sorry I am to have gotten you all into this. I swear… I promise that we will get out of this, and that I will explain everything to Takami… Professor Takahata when we get back. I will take full responsibility for what’s happened, and make sure that you girl’s aren’t punished any further. I’m… so sorry.”
“Negi…” if she’d been free, Nodoka would have held him. Her heart ached, and even though she had suffered, and was still very much in danger, she had completely forgiven him.
As they sat silently in the gloom, their captors secluded in a back room, a small creature came bounding across the wide room, right towards Negi. “Kamo!” Negi exclaimed in an excited whisper.
“Hey Boss!” Kamo replied, also keeping quiet. “I’m gonna get you outta here! I’ve got Asakura and the rest of the cavalry waiting outside!” Negi didn’t like the idea of more students getting involved, but he had to admit he needed the help. Kamo got to work quickly and quietly, trying to undo Negi’s bonds without arousing attention. Unfortunately he was not aware of what had happened to them. He stood directly in front of Negi’s chest, reaching over his side to work on the knot. His tail was inches from Negi’s nose.
“K-Kamo… *sniff* tah...tail… huh… aaaah…”
“Boss? What’s wrong?”
“AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” Kamo flew through air hitting the opposite wall, a good twenty yards away, with a thud and fell unconscious. Negi resisted the urge to cry out, not wanting to broadcast the fact that they were getting help. Asuna, who was not as fond of the ermine, just thought to herself, ‘Now why couldn’t he have done that to the damn cat?’ Again they redoubled their efforts to break free, and again the got nowhere. Their captors returned.
“Our clients will arrive shortly, and they are most pleased with the work we’ve done.” He looked right at Negi. “I must thank you. You in particular have been very helpful.” Negi burned with anger. The man was about to continue when the group was startled by a loud CRACK coming from outside. One of the temple’s window panes shattered and the Cat-Demon was struck in the shoulder.
“What the…” was all she could say before disappearing in a cloud of ash. The temple doors were kicked open, as several students charged in. The attack was led by the Kung Fu fighting Fei Ku alongside the Ninja-in-training, Kaede Nagase. While they took up the front line, shrine-maiden and demon hunter Mana Tatsumiya entered slowly behind them, her rifle still leveled, followed closely by Kazumi Asakura.
As Fei charged to the front, Kaede threw a small metal star in Setsuna’s direction. Her aim was true and it struck her bindings, severing them. Setsuna slowly rose and picked up her sword, which had been left about ten yards from where they were being held. It was Kazumi who address the cloaked man.
“OK! You’re, like, totally outnumbered! We’re taking our friends home!” Negi had never heard the valley girl speak with so much conviction.
Tsukuyomi looked around, “Uh… Yeah… I’m not getting paid for this!” She said sweetly and fled to the back of the temple. Shortly after disappearing in the shadows they could hear the sound of a door closing. With his Golem long since dispelled, his demon banished and his sword-maiden having fled, the dark man was forced to agree with Kazumi’s assessment of the situation
“Yes. You’re right. And I have no intention of trying to fight all of you…” with a flourish of his cloak, the shadowy figure disappeared in thick cloud of noxious black smoke.
“Come on,” Kazumi said, looking at Negi. “Let’s get you home
--------------------
Although Negi wanted to go back and admit responsibility right away, the four rescuers thought it would go better for all of them if they snuck back in. “You can, like, explain everything to Takahata-sensei in the morning.’ Kazumi argued. Reluctantly, Negi gave in. The group decided it would be best to split up. Kazumi joined Asuna and Negi; Fei carried Kamo; Kaede escorted Nodoka and Yue; while Mana went with Setsuna. They each took separate routes back the hotel, approaching it from different paths.
Fei-Ku had the easiest time, scaling the wall and slipping into her 2nd floor window with the unconscious Kamo tucked into a deep pocket in her Gi. Unfortunately, she had gotten turned around a bit making her way back and the window she was slipping into was in the same position, but on the opposite side of the building, as her room. Professor Takahata was jarred awake as Fei Ku nearly tripped over him lying in bed. Needless to say he got quite a shock from the sight of Ku Fei sneaking in though the window and into his bed. Fei just smiled innocently and gave up. She was caught.
Outside, Kaede waited for the clerk at the front desk to be called away before sneaking in with Yue and Nodoka and making a break for the nearest stairwell. The reached their floor without any trouble, but opened the stairwell door and almost walked right into the back of one of the school chaperones. The much taller Kaede grabbed the girls and silently whisked them into a nearby utility closet to hide until the chaperone moved on. The fit was close, and Nodoka was squashed against Yue, whose jacket had a lot more cat hair on it than Nodoka’s mainly due to Yue’s resistance to the demon’s little game.
“Yue… Y-You’re jacket *sniff*…” Nodoka whispered desperately.
“Hang in there, bookworm…” Yue’s whisper was cool and level, as always.
“…t-too m-much… *sniff* cat… hair... *sniff*…” Kaede was able to move just enough to put a finger under Nodoka’s twitching nose. This was more than either of the smaller girls could manage as they were pinned in the tight space.
“Just another minute… b-book… w-worm…. aaaaaAAAAAAHHH-choo!” Seconds after Yue’s loud, throaty sneeze the door opened and they were greeted by the chaperone, who stood outside, tapping his foot.
As Mana and Setsuna approached the hotel from a wooded area, Mana noticed a shadow coming from around the corner of the building. It was a teacher. “Get down!” She commanded in a whisper, grabbing Setsuna and forcing her to the ground. Her attention was so focused on the patrolling teacher the she did not notice Setsuna struggling as her face was planted directly into a small patch of flowering weeds.
“*sniiiif* Mana!” Setsuna pleaded in a whisper.
“Shhh! Quiet now!” She was still looking at the teacher. Setsuna pushed against the ground, trying frantically to raise herself, but Mana’s hand was of the back of her head, holding her down.
“*sniff* Mana… *sniff* I… can’t…!”
“Shush! She’s almost gone…”
“can’t… ha…hold…. on… eh… eh… EHTChoo! EHTChoo! EHTChoo!” Setsuna’s triple brought the attention of the teacher and they surrendered, caught.
Last to arrive were Kazumi, Asuna and Negi. Along the way he pleaded with Kazumi to just let him go, and explain everything to Professor Takahata, but Kazumi wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted on trying to sneak in and told Negi to sleep on it, and tell Takahata-sensei about it the morning if he still felt like he should. After a few more tries he gave up. The trio walked up behind the hotel, and caught just a whiff of tobacco and the sound of footsteps from around the corner before diving behind a dumpster. It was Takahata, who decided to take a look around after being woken by Fei Ku crawling into his window and over his bed.
The three crouched down in the shadows. Asuna gazed at Takahata through her still irritated eyes. Even roused from sleep in the middle of the night he seemed handsome to her. She pinched her nose as a precaution. She did not want to be caught by him a second time.
“Ka…zumi…” Negi managed as quietly as he could, “are you… w-wearing p-perfume?”
“Yeah! I, like, got it for my birthday! Do you like it?”
Asuna rolled her swollen eyes. ‘What were these two idiots doing?!’ she thought to herself.
“Yes… but… it’s going… to make… m-me… snee… ah… sneeze…. AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!”
Gravel and mulch flew past the startled Takahata. “Ok, Negi. Gig’s up. Come on out.”
The three did the ‘dead man’s walk’ back the hotel lobby, and were dismayed to see every single one of their co-conspirators lined up. Mana, Kaede, and Fei (with Kamo on her shoulder) stood behind a couch, while Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna sat on the couch, dabbing their red noses with tissues from a shared box on the coffee table.
Negi looked forlornly at Takahata. “Let them go back to their rooms, Takahata-sensei. This is all my doing. Let them go up and get some sleep and I’ll explain what’s been going on. I’ll take responsibility.”
Takahata sounded only the slightest bit angry. “I’ll decide who will take responsibility, Negi-sensei. But… I’ll hear you out. Girls? You can head up to your rooms. Go right to bed now, or there will be punishments! You’ve used up all your second chances.”
Negi started from the beginning, and told his friend about the cloaked man and his offer for the Mirror, as well as his own lies and broken promise. He considered explaining the reason for his deception, but figured Takahata was wise enough to fill that in for himself. When he finished, he was fighting back tears. “I’m so sorry… I’ll understand if I’m fired. I won’t protest. There’s no excuse for my behavior.”
Expected to be hit, or yelled at, or at the very least sacked, Negi was surprised when Takahata embraced him instead. He hugged his mentor back and finally broke down.
“Negi… I can’t say I’m not disappointed in you. I’m hurt that you broke your promise to me, and also that you never asked for my advice or told me about this man. And although I’m aware of how special these girls are, I’m appalled that you got them involved so recklessly. But… I can’t say that at your age, in your position, that I would have done any better. You’ve been given the responsibilities and burdens of an adult, and you always handle them so flawlessly, that it’s easy for me to forget how young you actually are. Don’t worry. You’re not fired. And I won’t report any of the girls’ involvement in this affair either. I know how much your dad means to you. That’s why Dean Konoe asked me to warn you. We didn’t want to go looking for this thing and end up getting thrown off the real trail in your search for your father. Negi, know this: I want you to find him. I long to see him again myself. And I will never be an obstacle in that endeavor. I will always be there to help you… All you have to do is: ask me.”
Drying his tears he looked up into his mentor’s gentle face. After all he’d done he did not deserve this man’s kindness. He was overwhelmed by it. ‘Was his father a man like Takamichi?’ he thought to himself. He stared at his friend for a moment longer before saying, “Thank you, Takamichi.” After embracing him one more time, as a grateful son would a beloved father, he headed upstairs to his room to get some much needed sleep.
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Ken Akamatsu
The Mirror of Eirsed is the property of J.K. Rowling
After a long day of lecturing and several hours spent in the office grading papers, 10 year old Professor Negi Springfield finally arrived at the dorm room he shared with two of his students, Asuna Kagurazaka and Konoka Konoe. He wanted nothing more than to drop into his bed and get a good night's sleep, but as he opened the door, careful not to wake his dorm mates, he noticed a small envelope on the floor. It was a letter, and he could sense the hint of enchantment it bore. Assuming it was from his sister back in Whales, he opened it without even noticing that there was no return address. Expecting the familiar image of his older sister to rise off of the page, he was shocked by what he saw instead.
Rising from the page was what looked like a ghost, except it was all black. After getting over his surprise, he realized that it was the figure of a man in a long black cloak. The cowl was drawn low over the man’s face and Negi could not see his features. The dark figure spoke:
“Professor Negi Springfield,
Due to certain constrains relative to my security, I am afraid that I am unable to introduce myself, but rest assured that I am a friend and I want to help you. You are searching for something… someone, to be more precise. I have no knowledge or skill that can help you, but I know where you may be able to find something that can. If you are interested in learning more, go the club known as Seppuku on the same night that you arrive in Kyoto. Once you are there, I will find you.”
As if the figure’s dark demeanor and mysterious tone were not enough to make Negi feel ill at ease, moments after the ghostly figure finished his message, the page ignited and was consumed almost instantly in purple flame. Neither of his dorm mates, nor his ermine familiar, Kamo, were awakened by the letter or the flame. It also made Negi nervous that the man apparently knew so much about him. He was searching for someone: his father, whom he had seen only once in his entire life that he could remember - outside of old photographs. ‘Something that can… Help me?’ he pondered to himself. Although exhausted, sleep was slow to come as he kept replaying the mysterious message over and over in his mind. They left for their class trip to Kyoto the day after tomorrow.
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Saturday normally meant a half day of classes but, since they were leaving for Kyoto the following day, classes were cancelled. As they sat down to lunch, Negi decided it would be wise to enlist the help of his friend Asuna, with who he shared one of several Pactio contracts. He told her about the letter and asked what she thought about it.
Asuna answered him in a whisper to avoid anyone overhearing. “Sounds dangerous if you ask me. You remember what happened last time right? It could be a trap.”
“I’m sure it is quite dangerous, but I’ve already made up my mind to go. I want you to help me.”
Asuna was quite surprised. It was not often that Negi actually asked for help. “W-What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to come with me, but to stay out of sight. I’ll activate the contract before we go into the club. You keep your distance, but look sharp. If anything happens, you come in a flash to back me up!” Negi’s enthusiasm gave Asuna the impression that he thought he was the first person to ever think up something like that.
“There is one problem… The 10 foot sword – fan – thingy that comes out when I use the card or you activate the contract? Might attract a little attention.”
“Hmmm… You’re right.” Negi was disappointed in himself, not having spotted something so obvious. It did occur to him however that his student was rather clever for having seen it. “Well… if you attracted attention, maybe we could bring someone else… Someone who would not attract attention. They could be our element of surprise!”
Asuna thought for a moment. She still had her misgivings, and didn’t like the idea of playing decoy, which felt too much to her like being the bait, but she had to admit: this plan did have some potential.
“OK. I’m surprised you actually want more students along, but of those you have contracts with… Bookworm for sure. She’s so quiet, she could escape your attention in an empty room.” ‘Bookworm’ was the nickname of Nodoka Miyazaki, a shy mouse of a girl, with enormous courage despite, and rather a large crush on Negi, though she was practically phobic about most other men and boys. Although he was hesitant to put Nodoka in danger, he had to admit she was a natural choice. She was quiet and, when her contract was activated she received a journal whose pages displayed the thoughts and intentions of whomever she asked it to. That made her the perfect lookout.
“…And if bookworm comes you’ll need Yue as well – someone who can keep a cool head in case something goes wrong. Bookworm will freak if she’s faced with a pressure situation.” Negi wasn’t so sure about that, but Yue Ayase was also a natural choice to partner with Nodoka. They were best friends and Yue always kept her cool in any situation.
“Now… I might need some help in the front line, so… Setsuna.” The list was getting longer than Negi planned, but again Setsuna Sakurazaki was a master sword maiden in the Shinmei-ryu and stealth was one of her specialties. Although he was already straining to keep everyone’s role strait in his head, Asuna was still adding to the roster.
“As a second lookout you also can’t beat Asakura… and Fei Ku would be perfect for…”
“No, I think that will do Asuna.” Negi interrupted her gently. “You, Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna will be my backup. That should work out swimmingly. Thank you. I knew I could count on you for advice.”
“Eh… thanks.” Seeing as this was the first time he’d ever asked her ‘advice’ she was a bit confused by his reaction. “By the way, you told me you were meeting with this suspicious guy, but you never told me why.”
“He can help me find my father.” Negi’s reply quashed any idea’s Asuna might have had about trying to talk him out of it. “We’ll approach the others once we’re in Kyoto. Oh… and… if for some reason Nodoka and Yue can’t go with us, Asakura would be a good second choice as a lookout. Fei could fill in for Setsuna as well. Good thinking.”
Asuna was surprised. His mind was racing and yet he still managed to not only listen to what she was saying, but actually used her idea, even after he had essentially turned it down. ‘For a little brat, he’s pretty sharp,’ Asuna thought to herself as they finished lunch.
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Back in the Dean’s office, Professor Takamichi Takahata had been called in to discuss an important matter with Dean Konoe.
“The Mirror of Erised has been located.” The ancient man said in his slow, creaky voice. “It’s in Kyoto.”
“Hmmm… That could complicate things. Do you think he’ll…?”
“He already knows.”
“Then should we warn Negi?”
“Yes… Yes, I think it is important that he be warned… But be careful with your words Takahata-sensei. The youth’s desire to find his father is strong. If he gets the wrong idea… Your warning may backfire. Make sure to tell him everything he needs to know, but nothing more.”
“You can count on me, Dean Konoe.”
Takahata-sensei had known Negi since he was a very little boy, and had also known his father, Nagi, the ‘Thousand Master,’ quite well. They had been close friends, and he missed him deeply. He caught up to Negi on his way back from lunch.
“Hello there, Negi! How are you doing?”
“Takamichi! I’m feeling splendid! How are you?”
“Fine, fine. Are you all packed and ready for the trip? I’m excited myself, I’ll be able to go with everyone this year!” Takahata had been sent on diplomatic errand by Dean Konoe during the previous trip to Kyoto, and missed it.
“Just about, yes. I can’t wait to get back. I might actually get to visit some of the temples this time! With the business last time, I didn’t have even a minute to play tourist!” Although he hadn’t been there, Takahata knew about the trouble they had with the Hogakio clan, and their uprising against the Kansai Magic Association.
“Yeah, about the trip… There’s something I need to discuss with you.” For a moment Negi’s feared that he was going to be told he wouldn’t be able to go. “Do you know about the Mirror of Erised?”
No longer in danger of missing the trip, Negi regained his composure. “Uh… Sure, it’s a legend. A mirror that shows you whatever you want.”
“Well… that’s almost right. The mirror shows the viewer nothing more or less than his heart’s most desperate desire. And it’s no legend… in fact, it’s been found.”
“Really? My word! To think of it… But… why are you telling me about this?”
“Dean Konoe asked me to talk to you about it. We wanted to warn you about it. To make sure you knew that nothing could ever be gained by looking into that mirror. No wisdom has ever been found there, and so tempting are its images that even great men have wasted away sitting in front of it. If you ever want to actually find what your heart desires, you should not be tempted to look there. Please Negi. Promise me that if you hear anything else about it, that you’ll stay away.”
“OK… I promise… But… my heart’s most… You mean to see my…”
“Yes. It will show him to you, but that’s it. It won’t reunite you, nor will the mirror tell you anything about him. You must understand this.”
“I do. Although I thought it was only a legend, I wouldn't have considered using something like that. You don’t have to worry about me!” The whole conversation struck Negi as a bit odd, since he had no intention of taking on a quest anytime soon.
“Although I trust your word, there’s something else I need to tell you. Although the mirror itself is useless, it is located in a temple that houses many other treasures. These are all guarded with dangerous and deadly enchantments. If you went in there to get the mirror despite your promise to me, you’ll probably get yourself killed.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me! I don’t plan to do anything dangerous on this trip!” Negi thought of the cloaked man, but there was nothing dangerous about talking to someone, he reasoned, especially with four of his friends keeping an eye out. ‘But why do you need a lookout out if it’s not dangerous?’ his conscious asked him.
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The trip to Kyoto was uneventful, and once all of the girls were checked into the hotel, Negi and Asuna sought out Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna. The five of them disappearing into the night did not escape the attention of Kazumi Asakura – the school’s resident paparazzi, who also shared a Pactio with Negi. She spied on them from a distance, but missed the first part of the conversation.
“So that’s it really.” Negi had just finished telling the four girls whatever it was he had called them away for. “Will you help me?”
“I am hesitant to leave lady Konoe unprotected, especially considering what happened last year, but I will do so for one night. I’ll have Mana fill in for me. Don’t worry… I won’t tell her what we’re doing. Just that I’ll need to be away.” Setsuna Sakurazaki was duty bound to protect the life of Konoka Konoe even at the cost of her own. She was often assisted in this duty by her classmate Mana Tatsumiya a capable shrine maiden and demon hunter.
“Um… It sounds dangerous… and… well… I’m afraid, but I’ll protect… I mean… I’ll go.” Despite her timid tone there was no limit to Nodoka’s courage, especially when it came to Negi.
“If bookworm’s going, you’ll need me. If anything happens she’ll wet her pants.” Yue teased her friend in a cool, even tone.
“Hey!” Yue’s gentle taunt managed to cement Nodoka’s resolve.
As the five started into town, they separated to increase the chance that some of them would go unnoticed. As they did this Asakura, also unseen, drew her Pactio from her vest pocket. She activated it and used the camera that appeared to snap five quick pictures of her friends, just in case she’d need them for later. As she snuck after the group, she didn’t notice that she herself was being followed.
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“How many are with him?” The dark figure asked, coming out onto the balcony.
“The red-head with the Bells in her hair is following him at a distance. She was his minister last time… And someone’s following her, but somehow… I don’t think they know she is.” answered the young girl in the pink dress.
“Well. Nothing should happen tonight, but wait here just in case, and make a note if you see anyone else.”
“Hai!”
The cloaked figure withdrew and crossed the street to the club Seppuku.
The inside of the club was dark, with pulsating lights. Smoke hung in the air and while there was music playing, the dance floor remained empty for the moment. Negi entered apprehensively and took his seat at a table facing the door. Asuna sat down on the opposite side of the room and made no effort to hide the fact that she was watching him. (Carrying the large Harisen that was summoned upon activating her Pactio card, she was hard to miss.) Setsuna reached the back alleyway unnoticed and slipped in through the rear. Neither Negi nor Asuna were aware of where she was and no one else noticed as Yue and Nodoka entered, taking a seat towards the back of the club. Once settled, Nodoka activated her Pactio card and was now trying to locate Negi’s contact using the journal.
Negi recognized the figure’s cloak from the letter, but still couldn’t see his face. “Hello, Negi Springfield. I am here to help you in your quest.”
“I’m not on a quest.” Negi answered, somewhat annoyed sounding. “You said you had something that could help me find my…”
“...Father. Yes. I do. Tell me… have you ever heard of the mirror of Erised?”
Negi felt deflated. All this preparation and anticipation and the only thing this mysterious looking charlatan had to offer was smoke and mirrors. “Not interested.” Negi answered flatly and got up to leave.
“I wouldn’t leave so quickly.” said the dark figure in a deep, steady voice. “I see that you know of it, but what exactly do you know. What have you been told?”
Negi paused, but did not yet take his seat. Standing up, at least he was looking eye to eye with the cloaked man. “It shows you your heart’s deepest desire. Nothing more. It’s useless as a tool for knowledge.”
“Heh-heh-heh… But what if knowledge was in fact your heart’s most desperate desire?” As he pondered this, Negi didn’t even realize that he’d sat down again. “For you, your heart’s desire may be to see your father again. Easy enough, and you are right – no knowledge can be gained from the mirror that way. But what if you trained your heart… what if you truly believed that what you wanted so desperately was to know where your father was?”
Negi felt as though he’d had the wind knocked out of him. Could the mirror tell him that? Why didn’t Takahata tell him? “My mentor told me that no wisdom could be gained from it. Are you saying he lied to me?”
“No, my boy. But many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Your mentor was simply telling you the truth as he knew it. But his knowledge was incomplete, and this is because so few have had the necessary wisdom and discipline to wield the mirror properly. Are you willing to take the risk? Great men have wasted away sitting in front of it.” Takahata’s exact words. Was Negi being tested?
“Go on. Tell me how this would work.”
“As I said, you must possess both discipline and wisdom in great abundance. You need discipline to control your heart. The heart is simple, basic. It wants only to see your father again. But you must convince it that what it really wants is to know where your father is. You will then need wisdom to discern his location from the details in the pictures you are presented with.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well… The mirror won’t just come out and tell you where he is, but… Are there Mountains in the background? Are they snow capped? Do you see any rare flora? Is there a river nearby? All of these details will help narrow down the possible locations. If you comeback in a day and he’s now in the desert, then the desert must be close to the mountains you saw. Can you see the ocean in the background? All of these are subtle clues that will, in fact, impart great knowledge… But only if you have the discipline to conjure them and the wisdom to interpret them. It won’t be easy, or quick, but you may get something that will shorten your search.”
‘I’m sorry Takamichi,’ Negi thought to himself, ‘but I’m going to have to break that promise I made to you.’ “Do you know where it is?”
“Yes. It's in a temple, not far from here... deep in the catacombs. I have this ancient map…” He handed a rolled parchment to Negi, who took it with great care. “You must be able to detect and dispel barrier enchantments as well as disarm magical traps.”
“I think we… I mean I can handle that.” Negi could almost feel the dark figure’s smile, having given up information he’d have preferred not to.
“And there are Stone Golems inside… you must be prepared to fight them.”
Negi just nodded, not wanting to give away any more information.
“But most importantly of all… The air inside the catacombs is dense with a certain type of fungal spore. The body reacts very badly… inflammation… suffocation… death awaits all who would breathe them. You must protect yourself against that, and you must cast the spell in the entrance room of the temple.”
“Why…?” Negi thought this advice sounded a little too specific.
“The interior chamber of the Temple has powerful protections to prevent any magic from being used inside. If you wait until inside the catacombs, it will be too late, and if you cast the spell out in the street, even assuming it wouldn’t run out too soon, there would be witnesses. The entryway is poorly lit, and mostly cut off from view. You will not been seen or disturbed there. And it’s only a quick walk from there to the catacombs… the entrance is a hidden staircase behind the Altar. It’s a trap door, and should be easy enough to find, even without the use of your magic.”
“There is one problem…” He thought of Asuna. “One of my part… I mean my partner,” Negi was kicking himself again for given the man more free information, “well, she’s sort of immune to magic. How shall I protect her?”
“Hmmmm…” The man in the shadowy cloak thought quietly to himself for a while. “You practice the western magic, yes? If I may be so bold, may I ask you… is she your minister?”
“We have a contract, yes.”
“Well then that’s easy! Even if she’s a magic canceller, just activate the contract. Her magical shield will not prevent you from casting a protective spell on her while the contract is active.”
[Author’s Note: The aforementioned point may not be cannon. Please just go with it.]
“Wow… Thanks, I never knew… Wait a second. How do you know so much anyway? And why are you helping me? What do you want?”
“I will not tell you how I come by my information. I’m sorry. As for what I want… After you’re done... Once you are reunited with your father or, heaven forbid, find out that he has, beyond any doubt or recall, passed on… I will come for the Mirror. I want it… once it is no longer of any use to your present search.”
Negi was surprised by this. In the course of there conversation, while he could not see the man’s face, he did spy the end of a short beard, and the man’s whiskers were white. “But… it could take so long… and you’re so… so…”
“Old? Heh-heh-heh… Older than you could possibly guess. But have no fear - time is on my side. For you, however, or for your father, it can run out. Do we have a deal? Will you grant my wish, in exchange for what I have given you?”
“Well… Yes but… how do I know I can trust you? I do I know you won’t simply take it from me, once I have it?”
“My boy… If I had the strength, to defeat you… and your friends,” so he had picked up on that, Negi thought to himself, “I would simply go and get it myself. But that is beyond my power.”
“All right. I’ll do it.” Negi replied, as he thought to himself, ‘I’m so sorry, Takamichi.’
--------------------
While Negi was inside talking to the figure, Kazumi Asakura waited across the street from the club, trying to figure out what was going on inside. Through her camera, she could see Asuna, Nodoka and Yue. Setsuna had used a charm to hide herself, so there was no surprise that Asakura couldn’t see her, but something was also preventing her from seeing Negi. As she tried to get a better view, she was startled when something small, white and furry jumped from the bushes behind her and landed on her shoulder.
“HIYA SISTER!” Kazumi almost jumped out of her skin, but it was just Kamo, Negi’s ermine familiar.
Asakura scolded the little pest, in her valley-girl accent. “Oh – my – god… Kamo! You just, like, scared the hell out of me!”
“Well what’s going on? I can’t find the boss or the chief anywhere! I’m surprised to run into you here!”
“Professor Negi is inside but, like, I can’t see what’s going on. Bookworm and Yue are with him, so are, like, Asuna and Setsuna.”
“WHOA! He calls out the troops and doesn’t even tell me?! Oh boy! He’s gonna hear it when I get back!”
“Aaaah… No-o! You, like, can’t say any-thing about this! He doesn’t know I was, like, spying on him! If he needs our help then, like, it’s better if he doesn’t know we’re keeping tabs. We’ll round up, like, Mana, Kaede and Fei Ku. We can, like, be the reserves in case anything really bad happens.”
“Oh, MAN! OK, OK. I’ll keep quiet about it.”
The two then snuck back the hotel.
--------------------
After meeting with Negi, the cloaked man was the first of the two to leave. He knew that the boy had other helpers, but that didn’t concern him right now. Hopefully Tsukuyomi was doing her job, and making note of anyone roughly the age of Negi’s students who left the club. As he entered his own room across the street he was happy to see that she was still keeping watch from the balcony. In her pink, frilly, Lolita dress with that white bonnet hat and eyeglasses, just the slightest bit too big for her face, he found himself amazed that this delicate looking porcelain doll of a girl could be so deadly. He was not sure her exact age, but her body still looked undeveloped and her face was a balance of awkwardness and beauty, with just some a child’s cute features remaining, mingled with a subtle hint of the woman’s face she would one day possess.
“So… How many others?” The dark man asked his ally, as he sat down.
“Well, two more left the club after Negi and Bells. And although I didn’t see her, I’m sure that… Setsuna was with them.” There seemed to be the slightest bit of longing in her eyes as she said this.
“That’s the one from Shinmei-ryu?”
“Yes.”
“Your rival? Your… equal?”
Tsukuyomi looked downward and answered quietly. “Yes.”
“Have no fear. This time you shall have the advantage.” As he said this his gaze fell upon a potted plant in the corner of the room. A small cat came from behind it, crossed the room and leapt into the man’s lap.
“But what if your spell doesn’t work? What if they disarm the traps in the temple? You were paid to capture him! Not to go on some kind of…”
“Correction.” The man interrupted sternly. “I will be paid to capture him, and will get a bonus for the Shinmei-ryu and the Magic Canceller. And from that payment, you will be paid for your assistance. If he succeeds… then the temple will be open to us. I assure you there will be something in there that you would gladly take as compensation should my payment somehow… fall through. So my dear… even if my plan fails… we still win.”
“There was still the other one, taking… pictures of the club. I’m sure she was keeping watch, but I'm still not sure that they knew it.”
“As I thought.” The man concluded. “I sensed that someone was trying to break my detection barrier. It must have been her.” The cloaked man now stroked the small black cat in his lap.
--------------------
Once they were a good distance for the meeting place, the five friends joined up again. Negi wanted to know immediately what Nodoka’s Journal revealed about the man.
“Um… well… nothing. I couldn’t even locate him, even though he was right there in front of me!” Her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears.
“That’s OK Nodoka! At least we know he is a wizard of some kind! And that he’s powerful enough to shield his thoughts from your journal. That’s not a comforting thought, but it’s important to know!” Negi knew that they would have to be on their guard. What he hadn’t expected was to see Professor Takahata waiting for them in the Hotel lobby as they arrived, way past curfew. He didn’t look happy, but he remained quite calm.
“You girls are in trouble.” He said evenly. “Negi-sensei, where did you find them?” So he was still being treated like a teacher, Negi thought to himself. That was good, but he felt terrible about what he now had to do, in order to keep their little quest a secret from Takahata.
“I caught them trying to sneak into a dance club.” Negi felt his body temperature rise with such a bold lie. He wasn’t sure if Takahata bought it, but he could feel the waves of anger rising off of the girls at his betrayal.
“Well… In that case I’d say you girls should be confined to quarters for say… All day and all night tomorrow?”
Negi’s body heat now swelled as his heart started racing. He would need them tomorrow. Plus he knew Asuna’s punishment for him would be even worse if she was personally grounded by her crush, Professor Takahata.
“Aaaaaahh… Takamichi… don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? I mean…”
“No, Professor Springfield. Sneaking into a club underage is serious business. I’m being lenient not sending them home right this minute.” At that thought, Negi decided not to push his luck. He felt like an absolute heel getting the girls in trouble just for helping him, and then getting off scott free himself.
He whispered to Asuna “Don’t worry… I’ll get you all out of this.”
But the fire in her Blue and Green eyes spoke volumes. “You … are … so … dead!” she muttered back under her breath, her boiling rage making Negi feel smaller than he thought possible.
He couldn’t sleep a wink that night. He knew he had to sneak the girls out and sneak them back in… if they were caught breaking their confinement, the girls would be sent home, and he’d be force to admit to Takahata-sensei that he’d broken his promise and lied, rather profoundly.
--------------------
The next day passed without the girls getting even a message from Negi. The four girls were put in a single room as the chaperones took turns keeping watch in the hall. They were told not to socialize, and that they would be separated if they made any noise. By sunset, they had just about concluded that the quest was off.
“Come on,” Asuna whispered. “The little brat’s not coming. Let’s get ready for bed.”
“Oh Asuna…” Nodoka tried to keep her hopes up, she really wanted to spend time with Negi, especially doing something so exciting, but she didn’t know what else she could say.
“I mean the little runt betrayed us! He made me look like some kind of delinquent in front of Tak…” She cut herself off, blushing profusely. She wasn’t sure how many of them really knew about her infatuation with Takahata-sensei, but she hadn’t wanted to just blurt it out.
“Think about it, Asuna!” Setsuna whispered harshly. “What else could he do? He must have his reasons for keeping the quest a secret. We agreed to help him. So give him a chance to make it right. I’m sure he didn’t plan for things to work out that way. Truth be told…” she was immediately struck by the irony of this statement, “it was pretty quick thinking on the kid’s part.”
“Hmpft! Well I’m going to bed!” Asuna shot back quietly. “You all may as well do the same!”
Setsuna remained where she was but Asuna took off her tee shirt and folded her pants neatly on the bed before rummaging through her bag for her nightgown. Nodoka did the same.
“I gotta pee.” Yue said, and went into the bathroom. She left the door open, in case anyone still wanted to talk. Since she was behind the wall, she reasoned, it was not as if anyone could see.
--------------------
While the young hostages stewed in their makeshift prison, Negi stood on the edge of the roof. He’d spent the entire day brewing four flying potions. It wasn’t easy, given the time constraints, but he was sure they would work. He mounted his staff, and flew in a wide arc towards the window to the girl’s room. Seeing it was open he figured he would fly right in. ‘It would be like making an almost… heroic entrance,’ he thought to himself.
“I’m here!” He whispered loudly, as he landed in the middle of the room.
“Eek!” Nodoka let out the tiniest scream as she tried to cover up with nothing to use except her own two hands. She stood directly right in front of him wearing only a small a-cup bra and narrow pair of candy-striped panties. While Nodoka was embarrassed beyond all reckoning, the sight of her stunned the young Negi into a state of near paralysis.
‘Oh. And there’s Asuna…’ his mind told him in a stupid sounding sing-song voice. ‘She’s not even wearing a bra and… oh look… she must have bought another pair of those teddy bear underpants I accidentally disintegrated on her that one time...’ In his shocked and confused state this all seemed like a happy dream. Although the image shifted to nightmarish rather quickly, the happy narration still played in his head.
‘My word, Asuna does not look happy at all.’ He thought, his mind still speaking to him in the same dull, sing-song tone. ‘Oh my… she looks even madder than before. My word… is she going to…’
*&$% POW @#$% !
‘… hit … me … ?’
Negi tumbled accross the room from the force of the blow, landing in the small hallway in front of the door. He gained consciousness just in time to look up and see a very surprised Yue, sitting with her panties down around her ankles. Whatever else he might have seen, from his vantage point below her on the floor, was consumed by darkness as he fainted.
‘So… indigo… then…’ was the last thought he had before going limp.
--------------------
“Ne-gi…? Ne-gi…?” It was the sweet sound of Nodoka’s voice. Negi came to and looked up to find himself surrounded by the four girls, thankfully fully dressed this time. “Oh! You’re OK. Thank God!” Negi sat up…
“No…doka?” The image of her trembling, half-naked body threatened to creep back into his mind, but he pushed it away. They had work to do. He explained to them what it was they were actually seeking, and showed the girls the flying potions which luckily had not been broken as a result of Asuna’s attack. At the end he explained why he had lied to Takahata. Yue and Setsuna seemed to understand. Nodoka looked disappointed. Asuna was furious.
“So not only do you make me look like some kind of miscreant in front of Professor Takahata, but you lied and broke your promise to him as well?! Why the hell should we help you anyway?!” If Negi didn’t know better he’d swear her long orange pigtails looked as if they were on fire.
Negi thought for a moment… “Asuna… What is your heart’s most desperate desire?” A voice whispered in Negi’s conscious, but he ignored it.
“Huh…? Me…? I… uh… well… you know…” Asuna stammered. She couldn’t just come out and say it, could she? ‘What the hell?’ she thought, ‘Is the little runt trying to embarrass me some more?!’
Negi continued, in a knowing tone of voice. “You may think it’s that certain person but…” The voice in Negi’s conscious was practically screaming at him to stop talking. “… Are you sure it’s not to find a way to make him… love you?” Once said, the voice in Negi’s head went silent.
“Eek.” A small cry escape Nodoka, but Asuna just stared at him.
After a few seconds, she answered him. “Let’s go.”
--------------------
The five friends crept through dark, back alleys trying to avoid the main street as they made there way to the temple. Once Setsuna was convinced the coast was clear, they went through the massive double doors at the front of the temple. As they waited quietly in the entryway, hearts pounding, Negi began the incantation that would protect them from the deadly spores in the catacombs.
“Activate the contract for Asuna Kagurazaka, Setsuna Sakuazaki, Yue Ayase and Nodoka Miyazaki for one hour.” All four girls felt themselves powering up. Negi felt drained, but continued with the spell. “Inkipium confestum muys magica… Allergium prohibitus totallus!” The last word echoed in the chamber, but the blue light that Negi expected to rise up and engulf them instead seems to slough off of them and fall to the floor. He was sure he’d done the incantation correctly, but felt uneasy about it. “Um… perhaps we should try that again?”
“Meow.” The four girls were startled by the sound of a black cat coming from the shadows. It started rubbing itself against Asuna’s legs, purring as it went.
“Ha-hah. It’s just a ca… ca… caHAHT-SHOOO!”
“Asuna please!” Negi cried, more startled by the sneeze than by the cat. “Not so loud! We’re not supposed to be here! We need to keep…”
“Hey… I th… though that incanta… a… ation was supposed to protect us from th-this kind… of… thing…ing… HAHT-SHOO!” Negi knew something went wrong with the spell; the ethereal flow didn’t look right at all. Nodoka went over to pick up the cat, as Asuna was to busy rubbing her nose and trying to get away, with nowhere to go in the small room.
“I didn’t know you were aller… aller… gic… to… ca… eSHOO!” Nodoka’s cute, high pitched sneeze was not nearly as loud as Asuna’s, but it reverberated in the nearly silent temple none the less.
“I’m… n-not… HAHT-SHOO!” Every breath Asuna took increased her urge to sneeze. The cat left the two and walked past Yue.
“aaaAAAAHHH-choo!” Yue’s sneeze was deep and throaty. The cat continued past Setsuna.
“Some… S… Something went wr...wrong w-with th-the s-spell… eh… EHTChoo!” Although she was bent over, she was pointing upwards. The group saw a small paper charm stuck to the ceiling. Negi couldn’t read most of it, but he recognized one of the Kanji: REVERSE.
“It’s a tra… aaa… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” As always happened when Negi sneezed his air magic went out of control. The gale force wind blew up all of the girl’s skirts, despite their best efforts to hold them down. Needless to say, while he was the smallest of the group, even slightly smaller than Yue, his sneeze was far and away the loudest. “…trap! Oh dear me… I’m terribly sorry.” Four faces glared back at him, looking simultaneously embarrassed and annoyed.
The cat left the entranceway and the group pulled desperately at the door… but it wouldn’t budge. Setsuna drew her sword to cut it down.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” called a deep voice from the middle of the temple. It belonged to the dark figure Negi had met with earlier. Standing next to him was a tween-aged looking girl in a frilly pink dress, wearing eyeglasses and a wide brimmed bonnet-hat, and wielding a sword almost identical to Setsuna’s. Her other hand was behind her back. Setsuna recognized her immediately, and remembered that she’d also used a dagger in their last encounter.
“W-Why n-not?” Setsuna tried to sound threatening, but her voice wavered and betrayed her as she struggled against another sneeze.
“There’s an explosive rune on the other side. If you strike through the door… it will detonate, killing you… and your friends. Ent-Golem! Necoyokai!” On that command the black cat walked towards him, growing larger as it did. Although the shadows obscured the transformation, by the time it reached the cloaked man, it was standing upright, roughly six feet tall – a cat demon. With their itchy noses the group was dreading even more what was already an unwelcome surprise. The next thing they saw filled them with despair.
Lumbering out of the shadows from the back end of the temple, standing nearly twelve feet tall, was what looked like a giant, woven out of ragweed bushes. Coarse vines stuck out where tendons would be, and tree limbs substituted for bones. Fine dust seemed to shake off the monstrosity with every step as he shambled up behind the man in black. His mere presence was causing their eyes to water and there noses to run liberally.
“Now… you can surrender now, and I will ease your suffering while we wait for my clients, or you can try to fight… in which case you will only suffer more.” There was no decision to be made. Setsuna and Asuna charged, while Negi, Nodoka and Yue began their incantations.
Asuna engaged the Ent-Golem, while Setsuna crossed swords once again with her Shinmei-Ryu rival, Tsukuyomi. The attack was fierce – she knew she would have to end it quickly, but it was hard to concentrate with her eyes tearing up and her nose in a constant state of over-sensitivity. Their blades clashed, but Tsukuyomi kept her left hand behind her. ‘I can’t forget about the dagger…’ Setsuna thought to herself. Seeing an opening, Setsuna pinned Tsukuyomi against a bench. Unfortunately, she could no longer move herself, or her opponent would free herself. It took almost all her strength to maintain the hold, but she had just enough leverage to raise her other hand in defense as Tsukuyomi’s hidden hand flashed from behind her back. When Setsuna caught it mid-air, it did not possess a dagger, as she had expected, but a long feather. Despite her best efforts, with a quick manipulation of her fingers, Setsuna’s opponent angled the feather downward and gently tickled her nose with the end of it, smiling mischievously all the while.
“H-Hey… N-No… eh… EHTChoo!” The sneeze momentarily sapped her strength and she was pushed off by her opponent, who continued her attack, this time striking with both sword and feather. Every swipe of the feather caused Setsuna to sneeze again, breaking her concentration. The fight was quickly going against her.
Meanwhile, Asuna had her plate full with the Ent-Golem. She held her hands on opposite ends of her Harisen, as she tried to push back against the creature’s relentless assault.
“HAHT-SHOO! Hey! ha… HAHT-SHOO! How about some h-help over here?” She looked back at the three diminutive Wizards, desperately trying to complete their incantations, but between the sniffling and sneezing, noone could get the complicated wording out properly. “HAHT-SHOO! Oh man!”
The Golem was pushing her into a corner. Her eyes stung and her nose felt as if ants were crawling around inside it. With one more sneeze, she pushed back and gave herself enough room to launch a counter offensive. One strike… Another… Another… she knocked more pollen of the creature with every blow as she drove it back. At this point she wrote off getting any help from Negi and the others. With the Golem on the ropes she raised her weapon to strike the finishing blow when the Cat-Demon flew past her.
With her left paw, she shredded the front of Asuna’s shirt, giving her several lacerations on her torso as she flew by. One of her claws caught the front of Asuna’s bra, severing the fabric holding the two cups together. While this was both embarrassing and painful, it would not have been enough to break Asuna’s attack on the Golem… but she was struck in the nose by the cat-demon's tail. At this point, already off balance having drawn back her Harisen, the sneeze took out her last bit of concentration.
“HAHT-SHOOO!” With her eyes closed, she never saw it coming.
* WHAM *
What felt like a tree trunk slammed into her, sending her sprawling across the floor. She hit her head, breaking an urn as she landed, and fell unconscious.
The entire time this was happening, the Dark figure just stood and watched while Negi tried to ready an attack spell meant for him, and Yue and Nodoka tried to act as artillery for Asuna against the Ent-Golem.
“Inkipium confestum we… we… we… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” Every hurricane force sneeze that Negi issued just served to spread more pollen and dander into the air.
“aaaAAAAHHH-choo! *sniff* This is n-no good Negi! aaaAAAAHHH-choo!” Yue, normally cool in any situation, sounded almost panicky. Since they were inside, she could not use her broom to call lightning, and she could not string two words together without sneezing.
“Inkip… eSHOO! Ink… Ink… In… eSHOO!” Tears ran from Nodoka’s eyes, although she was not crying. She tried to think of the shortest spell she knew, but nothing came to mind that would be of any use here. If any of them got even close to completing a spell that dratted cat demon flew by, with its claws and tail. Once Asuna fell however, their fight ended quickly as the Golem swept up all three with a single blow of its mighty limb.
Finally it was down to Setsuna. “*sniff* eh… EHTChoo!” She knew it was coming, she left her sword open on that one, and her grip was too light.
* CLANG *
Tsukuyomi sent Setsuna’s sword flying, and then came back with the feather.
“Ack! *sniff* eh… eh… EHTChoo!” Her eyes were now closed.
* THUD *
Tsukuyomi drove an open, flat hand into Setsuna’s chin as hard as she could. Setsuna fell. “Wow. I’ve finally defeated you! I don’t believe it!” Setsuna, looking up from the ground, heard the girl’s gloating, but could not respond. The world went dark as her head dropped to the floor.
--------------------
When they came to, the group found themselves disarmed and bound. Their hands were tied behind them, to their ankles and they were lined up along a wall in an uncomfortable kneeling position. Most of there clothes were in tatters from the fight. The man in the black cloak and the girl in the pink dress had left, and the Ent-Golem was also nowhere to be seen. Necoyokai was the only visible guard left. She was back the form of a small black housecat, but there was little doubt in the captives’ minds that it was the same cat-demon they’d fought before – its voice hadn’t changed.
“I’m bored.” The small cat said, in a high-pitched and whiny tone.
It pounced up on Nodoka’s lap, and to her dismay, Nodoka discovered that the botched protection spell was still very much in effect. The tickle in her nose started with her first, hitched breath.
“Oh… *sniff*… K-Kitty… *sniff* please…” Necoyokai dragged it tail gently across the end of Nodoka’s pink, runny nose, overwhelming any defenses she had left. “eSHOO! *sniff* eSHOO! eSHOO! *sniff* eSHOO-OO! Oh… Please kitty… eSHOO!”
The cat jumped from Nodoka to Yue, who looked strait ahead, remaining as still as stone. The look on her face was one of casual indifference. The demon-cat gave Yue the same treatment as Nodoka, running its tail under her nose. Yue didn’t even blink.
“Oh come one!” The demon-cat demanded. “You're no fun!” She tried few more twitches of her tail, but the only response from Yue was a single tear from her left eye running down her cheek. She didn’t even seem to notice it.
“Oooooh… Playing it cool, huh? That’s OK. I like a challenge.” The cat demon began pacing over Yue’s lap, keeping its tail pointed upwards the entire time. Looking back, it noticed Yue eyes narrow every so slightly. Then her lips parted as she fought the urge to sneeze. The demon cat now began lightly batting her nose with its tail. Yue’s irritated nostrils flared as she drew a long, sharp breath.
“aaaaaAAAAAAHHH-choo!”
“Gotcha! That was fun!”
She then jumped from Yue to Asuna, who had no intentions of begging, like Nodoka or of trying to play it cool, like Yue. The instant the beast landed on her, she began bucking and hopping about, trying to throw it off of her. This hurt her wrists and ankles like hell, but she refused to give her jailor any satisfaction. “Get off of me you little…”
As Asuna pitched and struggled, the demon-cat extended her claws into Asuna’s thighs in an effort to hold on.
“OW! You bi…”
“If you don’t want the claws then… SIT… STILL!” Asuna stopped fighting, but leaned back, trying to get her face out of range of the cat’s tail. This plan backfired, as the cat simply leapt up onto her shoulders. She briefly considered trying to throw her off again, but she could feel just the slightest poke from the cat’s claws through her shirt and reconsidered. She didn’t exactly want it taking a swipe at her face.
“What the…?! W-Why don’t y-you j-just go aw…aw…away… ay… HAHT-SHOO!”
“What? Aren’t you enjoying this?” The cat’s innocent tone made it sound even crueler. “I need to do something to pass the time.”
“Well… HAHT-SHOO! Why do you go chase a… a… HAHT-SHOO! mouse or go lick your backside or some… some… HAHT-SHOO! something!”
“Lick my…?! Why you!”
Necoyokai now started doing what could only be described as laps around Asuna’s head. She made sure to drag her entire body across the whole of Asuna’s face. Asuna could feel the beast’s claws digging in to her chest and shoulders, in order to hold on while navigating the awkward circuit. After several minutes, during which Asuna’s sneezing was about as steady and constant as her breathing should have been, the cat jumped down and eyed Setsuna. Asuna fell over and lay on her side on the ground. Her nose was bright read and ran like a stream. Her eyes were also red and nearly swollen shut. She breathed through her mouth, with a raspy sound, and didn’t have an ounce of fight left in her. Negi felt like crying at the sight of his dear, if somewhat violent-tempered, friend in this state.
When the cat landed on Setsuna she, like Yue, showed no response. “You too, huh? Oh well.”
She went to work, pacing across her lap, running her tail across her nose, but got no response from the disciplined warrior-girl.
“Hmmm… you’re good! I can see why Tsukuyomi has such a crush on you.” At hearing those words, Setsuna felt her body temperature rise a few degrees, but it didn’t show. The cat jumped up of her shoulders. It stretched around behind her head; poking its face around one side and nuzzling the right side of her nose, while her tail reached around the other side tickle her from the left.
“Still nothing?” It asked sounding both innocent and disappointed. Setsuna stared directly ahead. Yue was immensely impressed by her discipline. Asuna was far too miserable to notice. Nodoka was looking at Negi, who had changed from looking sad to angry, though his voice still sounded as it he was on the verge of tears.
“STOP IT!” he screamed. “JUST STOP IT!” He was crying now. He knew that this was all his fault: That’s he’d lied and broken his promise, to his friend and mentor no less; and that he’d led the girls into danger for purely selfish reasons. He sobbed openly as tears ran down his face. This sight broke Nodoka’s heart, but she didn’t cry herself, trying to be strong for this boy, who she loved.
“You want some? You want your’s now?” The cat jumped down from Setsuna’s shoulders, having been unable to elicit even a sniff. It made its way over to Negi.
“You think you can talk to me like that? You think you’re important? You’re just a kid. A brat, just like them!” She wasted no time in getting up on Negi’s shoulder and rubbing her head against his nose, oblivious to the danger she was putting herself in.
“aahh… haaaaaahhh… AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” The wind blew the cat demon across the floor. It rolled to a stop having been forced it back into it bipedal human-hybrid form. The girl’s tattered shirts were also blown upwards in the breeze, but as his eyes were closed, the girls were spared another embarrassing exposure.
Negi had hoped his sneeze would have knocked the cat-demon unconscious, but she seemed relatively unharmed. Seeming a bit annoyed however, she stomped back to Negi and, taking him by the back of his shirt, dragged his about halfway across the room and dumped him unceremonious on his side. “You’ll stay over here.” She said tersely.
Necoyokai went back to torturing the four girls, although her efforts on Setsuna were still frustrated. After several minutes of this, the man in the cloak and Tsukuyomi returned.
“Come, we have much to discuss.” The cloaked figure said to the Cat-demon in an authoritative voice as he passed. “Is the spell still in effect?”
“On everyone except the Shinmei-Ryu, it seems.” Necoyokai answered.
Tsukuyomi approached Setsuna with the same mischievous glint her eye as earlier. “Oh….?” She withdrew the long feather for its holder on her belt and rapidly tickled the end of Setsuna’s nose with it. The response was strong and immediate.
“Oh… ah… no… eh… eh… EHTChoo! EHTChoo! eh… EHTChoo!” Setsuna was helpless to resist.
“I’d say it’s still very much in effect.” Tsukuyomi concluded in a highly satisfied tone. The cat-demon seemed simultaneously impressed and disappointed, as the three went into a room in the back of the temple, leaving the five captives unguarded. Each struggled against their bonds but after several minutes none were able to free themselves.
“Girls…” Negi began, “I can’t begin to say how sorry I am to have gotten you all into this. I swear… I promise that we will get out of this, and that I will explain everything to Takami… Professor Takahata when we get back. I will take full responsibility for what’s happened, and make sure that you girl’s aren’t punished any further. I’m… so sorry.”
“Negi…” if she’d been free, Nodoka would have held him. Her heart ached, and even though she had suffered, and was still very much in danger, she had completely forgiven him.
As they sat silently in the gloom, their captors secluded in a back room, a small creature came bounding across the wide room, right towards Negi. “Kamo!” Negi exclaimed in an excited whisper.
“Hey Boss!” Kamo replied, also keeping quiet. “I’m gonna get you outta here! I’ve got Asakura and the rest of the cavalry waiting outside!” Negi didn’t like the idea of more students getting involved, but he had to admit he needed the help. Kamo got to work quickly and quietly, trying to undo Negi’s bonds without arousing attention. Unfortunately he was not aware of what had happened to them. He stood directly in front of Negi’s chest, reaching over his side to work on the knot. His tail was inches from Negi’s nose.
“K-Kamo… *sniff* tah...tail… huh… aaaah…”
“Boss? What’s wrong?”
“AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!” Kamo flew through air hitting the opposite wall, a good twenty yards away, with a thud and fell unconscious. Negi resisted the urge to cry out, not wanting to broadcast the fact that they were getting help. Asuna, who was not as fond of the ermine, just thought to herself, ‘Now why couldn’t he have done that to the damn cat?’ Again they redoubled their efforts to break free, and again the got nowhere. Their captors returned.
“Our clients will arrive shortly, and they are most pleased with the work we’ve done.” He looked right at Negi. “I must thank you. You in particular have been very helpful.” Negi burned with anger. The man was about to continue when the group was startled by a loud CRACK coming from outside. One of the temple’s window panes shattered and the Cat-Demon was struck in the shoulder.
“What the…” was all she could say before disappearing in a cloud of ash. The temple doors were kicked open, as several students charged in. The attack was led by the Kung Fu fighting Fei Ku alongside the Ninja-in-training, Kaede Nagase. While they took up the front line, shrine-maiden and demon hunter Mana Tatsumiya entered slowly behind them, her rifle still leveled, followed closely by Kazumi Asakura.
As Fei charged to the front, Kaede threw a small metal star in Setsuna’s direction. Her aim was true and it struck her bindings, severing them. Setsuna slowly rose and picked up her sword, which had been left about ten yards from where they were being held. It was Kazumi who address the cloaked man.
“OK! You’re, like, totally outnumbered! We’re taking our friends home!” Negi had never heard the valley girl speak with so much conviction.
Tsukuyomi looked around, “Uh… Yeah… I’m not getting paid for this!” She said sweetly and fled to the back of the temple. Shortly after disappearing in the shadows they could hear the sound of a door closing. With his Golem long since dispelled, his demon banished and his sword-maiden having fled, the dark man was forced to agree with Kazumi’s assessment of the situation
“Yes. You’re right. And I have no intention of trying to fight all of you…” with a flourish of his cloak, the shadowy figure disappeared in thick cloud of noxious black smoke.
“Come on,” Kazumi said, looking at Negi. “Let’s get you home
--------------------
Although Negi wanted to go back and admit responsibility right away, the four rescuers thought it would go better for all of them if they snuck back in. “You can, like, explain everything to Takahata-sensei in the morning.’ Kazumi argued. Reluctantly, Negi gave in. The group decided it would be best to split up. Kazumi joined Asuna and Negi; Fei carried Kamo; Kaede escorted Nodoka and Yue; while Mana went with Setsuna. They each took separate routes back the hotel, approaching it from different paths.
Fei-Ku had the easiest time, scaling the wall and slipping into her 2nd floor window with the unconscious Kamo tucked into a deep pocket in her Gi. Unfortunately, she had gotten turned around a bit making her way back and the window she was slipping into was in the same position, but on the opposite side of the building, as her room. Professor Takahata was jarred awake as Fei Ku nearly tripped over him lying in bed. Needless to say he got quite a shock from the sight of Ku Fei sneaking in though the window and into his bed. Fei just smiled innocently and gave up. She was caught.
Outside, Kaede waited for the clerk at the front desk to be called away before sneaking in with Yue and Nodoka and making a break for the nearest stairwell. The reached their floor without any trouble, but opened the stairwell door and almost walked right into the back of one of the school chaperones. The much taller Kaede grabbed the girls and silently whisked them into a nearby utility closet to hide until the chaperone moved on. The fit was close, and Nodoka was squashed against Yue, whose jacket had a lot more cat hair on it than Nodoka’s mainly due to Yue’s resistance to the demon’s little game.
“Yue… Y-You’re jacket *sniff*…” Nodoka whispered desperately.
“Hang in there, bookworm…” Yue’s whisper was cool and level, as always.
“…t-too m-much… *sniff* cat… hair... *sniff*…” Kaede was able to move just enough to put a finger under Nodoka’s twitching nose. This was more than either of the smaller girls could manage as they were pinned in the tight space.
“Just another minute… b-book… w-worm…. aaaaaAAAAAAHHH-choo!” Seconds after Yue’s loud, throaty sneeze the door opened and they were greeted by the chaperone, who stood outside, tapping his foot.
As Mana and Setsuna approached the hotel from a wooded area, Mana noticed a shadow coming from around the corner of the building. It was a teacher. “Get down!” She commanded in a whisper, grabbing Setsuna and forcing her to the ground. Her attention was so focused on the patrolling teacher the she did not notice Setsuna struggling as her face was planted directly into a small patch of flowering weeds.
“*sniiiif* Mana!” Setsuna pleaded in a whisper.
“Shhh! Quiet now!” She was still looking at the teacher. Setsuna pushed against the ground, trying frantically to raise herself, but Mana’s hand was of the back of her head, holding her down.
“*sniff* Mana… *sniff* I… can’t…!”
“Shush! She’s almost gone…”
“can’t… ha…hold…. on… eh… eh… EHTChoo! EHTChoo! EHTChoo!” Setsuna’s triple brought the attention of the teacher and they surrendered, caught.
Last to arrive were Kazumi, Asuna and Negi. Along the way he pleaded with Kazumi to just let him go, and explain everything to Professor Takahata, but Kazumi wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted on trying to sneak in and told Negi to sleep on it, and tell Takahata-sensei about it the morning if he still felt like he should. After a few more tries he gave up. The trio walked up behind the hotel, and caught just a whiff of tobacco and the sound of footsteps from around the corner before diving behind a dumpster. It was Takahata, who decided to take a look around after being woken by Fei Ku crawling into his window and over his bed.
The three crouched down in the shadows. Asuna gazed at Takahata through her still irritated eyes. Even roused from sleep in the middle of the night he seemed handsome to her. She pinched her nose as a precaution. She did not want to be caught by him a second time.
“Ka…zumi…” Negi managed as quietly as he could, “are you… w-wearing p-perfume?”
“Yeah! I, like, got it for my birthday! Do you like it?”
Asuna rolled her swollen eyes. ‘What were these two idiots doing?!’ she thought to herself.
“Yes… but… it’s going… to make… m-me… snee… ah… sneeze…. AAAAHHH-SSSSHHHHOOOOOO!”
Gravel and mulch flew past the startled Takahata. “Ok, Negi. Gig’s up. Come on out.”
The three did the ‘dead man’s walk’ back the hotel lobby, and were dismayed to see every single one of their co-conspirators lined up. Mana, Kaede, and Fei (with Kamo on her shoulder) stood behind a couch, while Nodoka, Yue and Setsuna sat on the couch, dabbing their red noses with tissues from a shared box on the coffee table.
Negi looked forlornly at Takahata. “Let them go back to their rooms, Takahata-sensei. This is all my doing. Let them go up and get some sleep and I’ll explain what’s been going on. I’ll take responsibility.”
Takahata sounded only the slightest bit angry. “I’ll decide who will take responsibility, Negi-sensei. But… I’ll hear you out. Girls? You can head up to your rooms. Go right to bed now, or there will be punishments! You’ve used up all your second chances.”
Negi started from the beginning, and told his friend about the cloaked man and his offer for the Mirror, as well as his own lies and broken promise. He considered explaining the reason for his deception, but figured Takahata was wise enough to fill that in for himself. When he finished, he was fighting back tears. “I’m so sorry… I’ll understand if I’m fired. I won’t protest. There’s no excuse for my behavior.”
Expected to be hit, or yelled at, or at the very least sacked, Negi was surprised when Takahata embraced him instead. He hugged his mentor back and finally broke down.
“Negi… I can’t say I’m not disappointed in you. I’m hurt that you broke your promise to me, and also that you never asked for my advice or told me about this man. And although I’m aware of how special these girls are, I’m appalled that you got them involved so recklessly. But… I can’t say that at your age, in your position, that I would have done any better. You’ve been given the responsibilities and burdens of an adult, and you always handle them so flawlessly, that it’s easy for me to forget how young you actually are. Don’t worry. You’re not fired. And I won’t report any of the girls’ involvement in this affair either. I know how much your dad means to you. That’s why Dean Konoe asked me to warn you. We didn’t want to go looking for this thing and end up getting thrown off the real trail in your search for your father. Negi, know this: I want you to find him. I long to see him again myself. And I will never be an obstacle in that endeavor. I will always be there to help you… All you have to do is: ask me.”
Drying his tears he looked up into his mentor’s gentle face. After all he’d done he did not deserve this man’s kindness. He was overwhelmed by it. ‘Was his father a man like Takamichi?’ he thought to himself. He stared at his friend for a moment longer before saying, “Thank you, Takamichi.” After embracing him one more time, as a grateful son would a beloved father, he headed upstairs to his room to get some much needed sleep.
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