Ah! Now I Understand!

An Ah! My Goddess! Fanfic by Niceguy
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Kosuke Fujishima

NOTE: This is the third (and final) part of a story arc that includes Ah! I'm Going to Sneeze! and Ah! We Really Screwed Up!. So if you haven't read those yet, please go check them out first!



"You know…I might be feeling better but… if you wanted to… we could still… maybe… experiment a little…?" Asakawa saw that she was rolling a small vial of white powder between her fingers. He didn't recognize it at first, but was hit with a wave of profound embarrassment once it registered what she was holding.

"Where… uh… where did you get that?" He asked, smiling nervously.

"Oh… I found it between the cushions of the couch. I assume it fell out of your jacket pocket last night. Is this… what I… think it is?"

"Ha-ha… yeah… uh… it is, but… well… you see… uh… someone gave me that a long time ago…. I mean I didn't even know I still… please don't think…."

"Shhhhhhh…." She put her index finger on his mouth as took him by the hand and slowly led him inside, eager to pick up where they'd left off.

-----------------------------------------------

He was lying on his back, looking up with an almost silly anticipation.

She was on her knees, straddling his waist, looking down at him with a nervous smile on her face. Although this moment had been a long, awkward and exasperating time in coming, she could still hardly believe it had arrived.

He kept looking up at her, content to watch as events unfolded. He could feel Hasegawa’s weight on him, even though she felt as light as feather. They looked at each other a moment longer before that mischievous look returned to Hasegawa’s eyes. A million thoughts raced through her head as she raised the small vial to her nose and began to remove the stopper.

Where was this reckless abandon coming from? When had she gotten so bold? She was overwhelmed by it, but decided to continue to embrace it. What would he do? How would he react? What would the contents of this vial do to her? Would it feel like the other day? That was awful, but she thought she could deal with it, since she thought she knew what it would do to him. What if they…? What would that feel like? She pulled the stopper and took the slightest sniff of the vial’s contents.

Nothing. She laughed nervously, as did he.

“Be careful.” He smiled.

“Uh-huh.”

She inhaled a little deeper. She could feel a slight tingling in her nose, but nowhere near how she felt the other day, and definitely not enough to make her sneeze. He smiled a little wider as he looked at her.

A few more sniffs and not much was happening. Anticipation was quickly turning into frustration. And that was leading to fear: Was this frustrating to him as well? He didn’t seem to mind. He kept smiling; but there was anticipation in that smile. What if this didn’t work? Part of what motivated her to do this was that she didn’t really know what she doing when it came to “making out.” She never really had a boyfriend, and thus had practically no experience in the matter. She thought this might make things go more smoothly, but now things weren’t going smoothly at all.

She put her finger over the neck of the vial to plug the hole and shook it gently. “Yeah, this’ll work for sure!” she thought. When she sniffed it this time there was a fairly intense reaction. Her nose burned slightly, but really started to tickle rather strongly. It still didn’t feel like the other day, but she knew that it was only a matter of time. She put the vial down on the nightstand, to avoid spilling it, and started to breathe deeply through her nose.

“That’s it!” she thought. It was fanning the coals of a fire. The glowing ember would get brighter and brighter until finally erupting in flame. She could visualize the same thing happening in her nose. She took a very deep breath, let it out and then felt the fire finally ignite.

Her eyes, which had started to tear a little, narrowed as her nose quivered slightly. She opened her mouth in kind of upside-down smile, drawing her lower lip down and showing the tops of her teeth as she inhaled sharply.

“hitch-*squeak*”

She had not intended to cover up, but did so anyway out of habit. All she could think was: “I did it! It worked!” She lowered her hands so that she could see his reaction. She was somewhat disappointed that he didn’t seem to react at all. He kept looking up at her with that same, silly grin. His smile may have widened a little, but nothing really happened. She didn’t know what to expect, she probably would have peed herself in fright if one sneeze had turned him into a ravaging animal, but she had hoped for something. He just kept looking at her.

Figuring the “embers” needed a little more “fanning” and feeling both a little bit self-conscious and a little bit impatient; she grabbed the vial from the nightstand, covered the top again and shook it violently.

Anticipating what she was about to do, Asakawa tried to caution her, “Be careful now, don’t inhale too much…” But it was too late.

Hasegawa put the vial right up to her nose and inhaled fiercely, as if it was her intention to snort up the entire contents. She realized her mistake before she was even done making it. The tickle in her nose was gone, replaced with a painfully intense burning as the fiery particles ripped into the delicate tissues inside her nose and sinuses, irritating them to a torturous degree. The pain reached up into her eyes, which now welled up like faucets.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” She grabbed at her nose, unable to do anything about the blinding pain within. She could feel the irritation starting to creep down her throat. “Oh my god! Ow! Oh… it burns!”

“Water, get some water! Quickly!” Asakawa didn’t really know if that would help, but he figured it couldn’t hurt. As Hasegawa ran to the bathroom, he picked up the discarded and now empty vial from the floor and read the label: Ingredients: Finely ground white pepper. He went over to see if there was anything he could do for her.

She was over the sink, splashing water on her face, trying to get some into her nose. At the same time she was blowing her nose, trying to rid herself of the irritants she had inhaled. He felt like such a heel. He had never told anyone about his fetish before and now because he had told her, she may have really hurt herself. That she was in pain was more than he could bear, but there was nothing he could really do. He wondered what was he supposed to do? Stand here and watch? Go back to the bed? Leave? Apologize? He wished he had the power to just make her stop hurting. He was sure she would be furious with him. He braced himself for the worst and started to apologize.

“Hasa….” but that was as far as got before she interrupted him.

She turned to face him. She looked awful; almost worse than she did the day before. But even thought her face and hair were soaked and her nose and eyes were red and puffy, she didn’t seem angry. It seemed more like she was the one on the verge of tears

“Yuichi… *sniff* I’m so sorry!”

Now he really felt horrible. She’s the one who gets hurt trying to please him, and now she ends up apologizing. He never felt so low. “No Hasegawa. I’m sorry. You… you didn’t have to do that. I… I really shouldn’t have let you. I’m…so sorry.” By the time he finished, he could barely look at her.

Each looking up, they stared at each other for a moment before Hasegawa finally broke down and started to cry. She fell into his arms, and he held her tightly. He kept whispering that he was sorry, and all she could do was shake her head and try to stop crying. Things had really not worked out at all for either of them. He felt horrible about having caused her pain, and she felt as if this was the second time that a potential make-out session was ruined by her inadequacy. They shared the embrace for several minutes before he suggested that maybe he should go.

“*sniff* Hm-mmm. *sniff*” was all she could manage. As he left, she wondered if he’d ever come back. This was the second time things had ended badly. Would there even be a third?

The next time they met up was at the auto-club meeting after class. The turnout was pretty good that day. Keichi Morisato and Belldandy were both there and so was Asako Watanabe, this year’s other new recruit. Hasegawa had to admit she didn’t care for Asako that much. It wasn’t just that Asako was so much prettier than her – she had become accustomed to thinking of everyone else as being in a league well above her own; but she had noticed that Asako was not particularly friendly. She didn’t seem to know her way around engines, and yet every time Hasegawa had tried to talk to her she’d get the cold shoulder; only to see her talking to one of the upper classmen about the very same thing only a minute later. But she didn’t seem too interested in either Keichi or Yuichi, so Hasegawa figured that, even if she’s wasn’t very friendly, she’s wasn’t someone she really needed to concern herself with one way or the other. But when she joined the club meeting this day, she said something that made Hasegawa seriously reconsider that judgment:

“*sniff* Oh man! *sniff* My allergies are really bothering me today!”

Waves of emotion washed over Hasegawa. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Nervousness. A million questions flooded her mind: Did Asakawa hear that? What if she started sneezing? What if he saw that? Asako is so much prettier than me, and she has allergies?! Would she steal him away from her? Asako could have anyone she wanted, and yet Yuichi was the only one that Hasegawa had ever come close to having! Would he change his mind? Would he drop the mousy, insecure, spaz in favor of the beautiful and potentially sneezy model-girl? Why did this have to happen? Why did their only two dates so far have to end so badly? Was she about to lose the only guy that ever showed any interest in her?

In reality she needn’t have worried so much. Yuichi had barely noticed Asako, and she really wasn’t his type. He would concede that she was attractive, but only in a detached, objective sort of way. As if to say, “Yes, I’m sure that there are a lot of men that find her very attractive;” not in a way that suggested the least bit of interest on his part. And he had seen how she treated people like Morisato and Hasegawa, and he had no patience for anyone could think of other people as being beneath them. To his mind’s eye, Asako was not really that attractive at all. And while he had heard her announcement, his only thought was “bothering? Yeah, right.” And he thought of Hasegawa a few days earlier and the night before and thought, “THAT’S being bothered. Don’t be such a drama queen!”

Hasegawa kept sending nervous glances his way, but she needn’t have worried so much. Asakawa just faced front, listening to the briefing being given by president Tamiya. He still felt too awkward about what had happened to return Hasegawa’s glance, but hadn’t given Asako, or her announcement, a second thought. About halfway through the meeting Hasegawa glanced over at Asako and was mortified by what she saw.

Asako had a look on her face that seemed to simultaneously suggest both concentration and vacancy. He eyes seemed to gloss over, but her brow was furrowed. She started to lightly wave her hand in front of her face. “Here it comes.” Hasegawa thought to herself, now feeling thoroughly depressed.

“HaahAAAHHH-HAH-SHOOO-OOO!” Despite her delicate, feminine appearance, her sneeze came out as a near glass-shattering scream. “Oh! Excuse me!”

Although it was dramatic, Asako had sneezed only one time in the entire hour-long club meeting. Asakawa continued to think “That’s what she calls being bothered? Pul-lease!” And although she was blessed simultaneously by half a dozen club members, Hasegawa did manage to notice that Asakawa was not among them. Although she couldn’t figure out if he was merely putting on a show for her benefit or if it really meant he wasn’t interested, she realized that either way meant that they were still together. That he still cared. That this opportunity hadn’t slipped away from her. The boldness that had possessed her intermittently since they’d met made yet another a comeback. She resolved to talk to him after the meeting and, no matter what happened, she wouldn’t give up until she knew where they stood.

Once the meeting closed and everyone started to leave, Hasegawa said goodbye to Morisato and Belldandy, excused herself after bumping into Asako, and sought out Asakawa.

“Yuichi? Do you have a minute? Can we go somewhere and… talk?”

He looked nervous, as if he was the one who might be getting the bad news. “Um… sure.” He followed her to a fairly deserted part of the campus, where they sat on a park bench.

“You think she’s pretty… don’t you?” Hasegawa had not planned on starting the conversation that way, but at that moment Asako was foremost in her mind. His response made her think he wasn’t listening.

“Well… yeah, I guess, but I really only want to be with you. And besides she seems happy with Morisato…”

“Huh? Wha... Who… do you think I’m talking about?”

“Huh? I thought you meant Belldandy. I mean everyone think she’s really beautiful, right? I’m not saying I’m blind or anything, but I’ve really never considered her. I’m a little surprised you brought her up…”

“Not Belldandy! I’m talking about Asako!” Hasegawa wasn’t sure if he was teasing her, or hiding something. Why would he bring up Belldandy?

“Asako? Hmmm. I don’t really want to say anything bad about someone I don’t really know, but… No. Not really. Not my type.”

“But she… well, she said she had… allergies.”

Yuichi was about to nod in agreement, rather nonchalantly, when he suddenly realized what had been bothering her. “And you think that makes a difference?”

“Well… I…”

“Sora… Asako is not a nice person at all! I’ve seen how she treats you and Morisato-senpai and some of the other people in the classes we have together. She’s conceited and self-centered and… Why on earth do you think I’d like her?!”

“Well, I… oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… Please don’t…” The momentary boldness she had felt seemed to have left her. Even after everything they had talked about, she still managed to completely misread the situation. She started to apologize again, when he interrupted her.

“It’s OK, Hasegawa. I guess I never really did a very good job of explaining it. I’ve never told anyone else about it, so… I guess I really don’t know how I should explain it. The fact that someone sneezes does not make them attractive to me. After all, everyone sneezes. I’m attracted by… I don’t know… I just like what I like… I like… people like… you.” That sounded a lot lamer out loud than it had in his head, and he looked away momentarily, slightly embarrassed.

“Sora… What happened last night… Well… I was interested in seeing you sneeze mainly because I’m so interested in you. I don’t know how to explain it… I guess I’d say that it enhances the feelings that are already there. It’s like someone having big…” But he cut off that explanation, not only considering it far too vulgar but also sure that Hasegawa would take it the wrong way. “It’s like… well OK, if you’ll pardon the rudeness, it’s like seeing someone naked. If it’s someone you like, then it’s really exciting. But if it’s someone you don’t, well it’s… not. I guess.”

“So if Asako Watanabe came to class naked you expect to believe that you wouldn’t even look at her?” Hasegawa asked cynically.

Yuichi laughed at the thought of it. “Well, of course I’d LOOK. I’d LOOK even if Tamiya & Otaki-senpai came to class naked. And while I seriously hope that never happens… the fact of my looking would amount to about the same thing.” A sly, lopsided grin crept onto his face. “I can definitely think of a certain someone that I’d much rather see come to class wearing nothing but their glasses…”

That made Hasegawa blush profusely. “Stop that, you’re embarrassing me!” But even through her nervous laughter, she held his hand as if to say that she understood that all was OK again between them. She leaned her head on shoulder and they stayed that way for several minutes before he broke the silence.

“I… uh… get the impression that you don’t feel too good about how things have gone so far in our relationship.” Just hearing him say “our relationship” filled Hasegawa with a warm, cozy and yet almost completely unfamiliar feeling. “So why don’t we try for a fresh start. Why don’t we try the old standard: Dinner and a movie? I think I can manage that without screwing anything up.”

“Wait… You… you think you’re the one who screwed everything up?” Hasegawa asked, clearly surprised by what he’d just said.

“Well… to be honest I kind of hoped you didn't think everything had been screwed up, but… yeah. I can’t shake the feeling that everything that happened to you… and us… is all my fault.”

Hasegawa was stunned by this revelation. “Would it surprise you know that I thought the same thing?” quickly adding, “I mean… that I was the one screwing up? …not you.”

He looked at her, and laughed out loud. Then they were laughing together, both feeling a sense of relief. “OK… how about this: Fresh start. Forget about everything that’s happened so far, and just go out on a normal, good old-fashioned, first-date?”

“That sounds like a very good idea.”

“OK. This Satuday? Dinner? Movie?”

“I’d like that.” She answered, feeling for the first time in her life as though everything was going to be all right.

The Sternutation of Haruhi Suzumiya

A The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction
Setting and all non-original characters are property of Nagaru Tanigawa


[One]

To anyone who didn’t know better, I might look like an ordinary high school student. Anyone who came to that conclusion, however, wouldn’t be looking very closely. First of all there is the fact that three of my four closest friends include an alien, a time traveler and an esper. (That’s a fancy word that basically means ‘psychic.’) How did I come to fall in with such a diverse crowd? Well… the answer to that lies with the fourth person, and the de facto leader of our little group: Haruhi Suzumiya. None of the three has been able to tell me (or convince me of anyway) exactly what Haruhi is, or why they are interested in her; although ‘Were drawn to her’ might be a better way to out it.  To Yuki (the alien) she represents little more than “an explosion of data.” As Yuki has the personality of a laptop, it seems fitting that she views Haruhi that way. Beyond that she can only describe Haruhi as something more than human. According to Miss Asahina, the time traveler, Haruhi caused some sort of temporal anomaly three years ago that prevents time travelers from the future form traveling to any point earlier than that… although as frightened as Miss Asahina is around Haruhi, it would seem that she may have done more than that. It’s possible, at least if you were to believe Itzuki – the psychic, that Haruhi may very well be (or at least have the powers of) a god. His take on Miss Azahina’s investigation is that Haruhi may have actually created time travel three years ago or, more profoundly, created the entire universe just three years ago. Either would explain with Miss Asahina’s people can’t travel back farther than three years ago from the present day. Time travel was either impossible prior to that point or there wasn’t anything to go back to. As for me? All I know is that these three claim to be here for no more important a reason than Haruhi wanted them to be. She wanted to meet interesting people, like aliens, time travelers and espers, and these three just seemed to show up – as if she willed it to happen. What I don’t understand is why Haruhi can’t figure it out – why she still isn’t privy to the knowledge that they’re anything other than normal high school students. Personally, I’m not so convinced of Haruhi’s divinity. My life may have gotten really strange since meets Miss Haruhi Suzumiya, but I somehow doubt that a god could possibly be experiencing what she is right now…

“Haaaaaaaaah-shoo! Haaaah-shoo! Hah-SHOO! Huh… Huh… HAAAAHHSHoo!”

I blessed her.

“Oh man… *sniff* another month, I’m gonna be sneezing…”

I just looked on, mildly amused. I had to admit that I found this more than a little bit entertaining. First off, she was a very beautiful girl, and she looked really cute when she sneezed. (Not that I had like a fetish or anything… *a-hem* Where were we? Oh yeah…) And considering how much trouble she usually caused everyone around her, us four in particular, I found it some how fitting that she was being bothered by something for a change. (At least by something other than her own boredom. That usually led to near catastrophe for the rest of us.)

“So what’s the deal? Are you sick or something?” I wasn’t really that concerned… but I didn’t want to catch anything. (Could a god even get sick?)

“No you moron… haaaaah… I have… *sniff*… HAAAATHOO! Allergies. Do you really think I could be sick for a month, Kyon?”

‘Kyon’ was her nickname for me. It’s kind of become everyone’s nickname for me. I really wish they’d stop calling me that. “If it’s going to be like this for a whole month why don’t you take something? I’m sure…” (I was still talking, but there’s really no point in continuing because from this point on Haruhi was now talking over me. This happens a lot.)

“No, no. None of that stuff works. Plus it makes me tired. Class is already boring enough. If I took anything I’d just fall asleep.”

I tried telling her that it doesn’t all have that effect, or that there are different things she could try, but she just kept taking, so I don’t think she heard any of it. Unfortunately, while I’ve been telling you all of this, I missed most of what she was saying. “What?”

“I said: So don’t forget and make sure to be on time!”

Uh oh. Now I’m in trouble. “Wait… What am I supposed to do?”

“RRRRRRR! We’ren’t you listening?! We’re going… *sniff* hang on… haahAAAHTCHOO! *sniff* Man! We’re going to have a club meeting! So don’t… for… get… haaah… HAHTCHoo. Hey… what’re you lookin’ at?!”

I hadn’t realized that I’d been staring. “I’m sorry. Tissue?” She didn’t seem to have any, so I offered. It probably wasn’t polite for me to be staring. (Or to feel as amused as I did at her suffering.) She blew her nose and dropped the tissue back on my desk.

“Thanks… Hey… Why *sniff* why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Huh? Oh… I didn’t realize… was I…”

“HAAAHTchoo! Would it kill them to close the window? Geeze! Just once I’d like everyone else to feel like I do. Nobody understands at all. Just once I wish everyone else could go through what I have to. *sniff*”

It occurred to me that if she wasn’t so eccentric, it might be easier for people to understand her, but that wasn’t really the issue here. As she put her head down on her desk, sniffling and blowing her nose (and still giving me the tissues back! – I mean, come on! She never returns anything else she borrows, what makes her think I want these back?!) I did feel a little sorry for her. (And that wasn’t easy.) But if she hated it so much, and if she had the power that Itzuki claimed she did, why couldn’t she just will it away? Or had she actually wished for this at some point? I’d never heard of anyone being allergic to cherry blossoms… did she bring this on herself? Suddenly I didn’t feel so good. I got that same nervous creeping sensation, kind of like a tingling in my spine, that I got every time Haruhi got some wacky idea in her head. What did she say? ‘I wish everyone else could go through what I have to’? I wonder… Nah… Itzuki’s just crazy. Still… you never know…


[Two]

That afternoon, at the club meeting, Haruhi didn’t show up. As usual, I was the first to arrive – well, except for Yuki, but I’m not entirely sure she ever leaves this room. She gave me a nod, which from her is about the same as getting someone else’s life’s story. After a few minutes Miss Asahina showed up. I left so that she could change into her maid’s outfit (I have no idea why she lets Haruhi make her wear that thing!) When I went back in, she already had the tea ready. I was almost finished with my cup by the time Itzuki arrived.

“No Haruhi today? That’s a surprise.”

I told him there was a note on the desk, apparently from Haruhi. I didn’t open because… well, frankly because I don’t care what it says. I still have no idea why I keep coming to this ridiculous club. Itzuki read the note.

“SOS Brigade Members,

I am not coming to the meeting today, but that doesn’t mean you can go home! Meet without me today, and we’ll have our regular meeting tomorrow.

- Haruhi Suzumiya
- SOS Brigade Chief”

“I wonder why she’s not here?” He asked, putting the note back on the desk.

“Allergies, I guess. She wasn’t feeling to well.” Miss Asahina looked at Itzuki as if I’d said something important. Itzuki just shrugged his shoulders and Yuki never looked up from her book. (She rarely does.)

So after playing a few rounds of Othello, we got ready to go home. Although it was a relatively quiet afternoon without Haruhi, Itzuki finally brought up the question that had been on everyone’s mind. “I wonder if she has anything planned for tomorrow. Kyon, did she say anything to you?”

I answered only that she just said that she wasn’t feeling well, and that just once she’d like everyone to know how she felt. Itzuki gave me a strange look, but I just shrugged my shoulders. What? Would everyone suddenly become bored, haughty and eccentric for a day? Whatever. I’ll let these three worry about whatever Haruhi has planned. As usual, I’ll just be dragged along for the ride. Sometimes I wish my life was normal… but if nothing else hanging around with Haruhi is never boring. It certainly keeps the reflexes sharp.


[Three]

“HAAAARshooo!”

I woke up the next morning with a sneeze. As rare as that was, I was keenly aware of something else – I was going to sneeze again.

“HAAAARshooo! Ha… HAAAAtchoo! Ha… ahhh…. ahHATCH-oo.”

What was that all about? A double was very uncommon for me, but four in a row? Unfortunately I didn’t have much time to ponder. Looking over at my alarm clock I realized that I’d overslept. Crap, I’m late!

Now I had no idea what was going on, but the walk to school was miserable. I couldn’t stop sneezing every few seconds and I felt like a wreck by the time I’d gotten there. What I didn’t notice until I took my seat was that I was apparently not alone. Looking around it seemed like I was sitting in an entire classroom full of sniffly, sneezy classmates. Even the teacher seemed affected. Every couple seconds someone would sneeze, or sniff, or blow there nose. I couldn’t tell you for the life of me what the teacher was lecturing about. Halfway through I think she just gave up. Everybody was in a state of misery. Well… everyone except Haruhi.

Don’t get me wrong. She still issued the occasional sneeze, followed by a hearty sniff and a wipe of her nose on the back of her hand or the cuff of her sleeve, but, while everyone else seemed to be miserable, Haruhi appeared ecstatic.

“Kyon!” Her enthusiasm was almost terrifying.

I looked at her through red, itchy eyes as I wiped my nose on the back of my hand.

“Isn’t it amazing?!”

“Huh?” I sniffed, and it would have been louder than etiquette normally would dictate, except that it could barely be heard over the sound of everyone else doing the same thing.

“What could have caused this? I mean… what could make everyone sick on the same day… all at once?! This is amazing. Maybe it’s some kind of super-bug! Maybe it’s a government weapon! Or maybe aliens have infected us with some kind of extraterrestrial microbe! Or maybe they’ve seeded the world with a new kind of tree that everyone’s allergic too!”

Who’s ‘they?’ Is she still talking about aliens or is she back to the government? “Haruhi… hang on… hah… HAAAARshooo! It’s probably just an outbreak of something that’s going around. Someone probably came to school yesterday with a really contagious cold or flu or some… suh… sah-HAAAAshooo! Something.” Or maybe someone with latent god-like powers made everyone sick or allergic just for their own amusement.

“NO WAY! Nothing could something to be this widespread, so quickly! It just HAS to aliens… or maybe something from the future! Maybe they’re trying to….”

I stopped listening. She’d be on like this until class started, and probably during class as well. (And I’m still not sure who ‘they’ are.) If there was some scenario she could imagine that involved psychics, then every member of our little clique would be represented in her ridiculous fantasy. Well, everyone except me, who represents the mundane everyday occurrences of the real world. I’m sure it would never occur to her that this could just be a really virulent strain of infection, and that maybe we should actually be concerned. Still, I wonder… maybe it would be worth asking Yuki or Miss Asahina about what’s going on. I’d just as soon not deal with Itzuki right now.

“Kyon! Are you listening?!”

Oh boy. No, I wasn’t. I’m in trouble now. “I’m sorry Haruhi. I missed that last part, what did you say?”

“Not ME, you idiot! The teacher just said that since everyone is sick, including the teachers, that classes will be cancelled today!”

“Thank god. Now I can go home and get some…” I felt Haruhi grab the collar of my shirt… too late to brace for impact… she pulled and my chair toppled backwards. I hit my head on the edge of her desk. *WHAM!* “OW!”

“NO WAY! Just because classes are out doesn’t mean that the SOS brigade members are getting off so easy! We got to investigate this! I want you in the club room ASAP!”

Another sneeze stifled my protest. It was a lost cause anyway. Whenever Haruhi gets an idea in her head, resistance is futile. Still… a few minutes in the air conditioned club room might be good before starting the trek home anyway.


[Four]

After class let out, I had no idea where Haruhi went, but wherever it was, she was in a hurry and didn’t have any plans of informing me about it. I shuffled to the club room, feeling miserable, wiping my nose on my sleeve and sneezing every few seconds. At least the club room was air conditioned – although why I thought that would help is beyond me. Why am I assuming that it’s allergies and not a cold or flu or something anyway? I mean… just because it’s weird doesn’t mean it has to be Haruhi’s doing, does it?

“Kyon!” It was Itzuki.

“Hey. *sniff* You don’t look so bad. I though everyone was sick.”

“Well, I figured it would be a bad day for allergies, so I took something before I came to school.”

“You normally have allergies?” I didn’t know that.

“No. It was just something that you said yesterday, when Miss Suzumiya didn’t show for the club meeting. You told us the she said she wanted everyone to feel like she did. You also mentioned that Miss Suzumiya was really being bothered by her allergies yesterday. Based on Miss Suzumiya’s propensity to make things happen, I figured that something like this might happen.”

“You figured all that out just based on what I said at club yesterday?”

“Well… that… and I am psychic.” He flashed what some people might call his ‘winning smile.’ In my sickened state it made me want to punch him.

“And you didn’t think to clue me in on your little brainstorm? *sniff* Thanks, buddy.”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Sorry!” He put his hand on the back of his head and bowed. “Listen… I’m going to be a few minutes late, but I WILL be make the meeting today, so please let Miss Suzumiya know OK?”

“Oh don’t worry… *sniff* whatever she has planned, I don’t intend to let you miss out on any of the fun.”


[Five]

When I got to the room, Yuki was there by herself. (Does she ever leave?) I noticed right away that she didn’t seem bothered by what whatever was affecting everybody else either. But then, since she wasn’t exactly human, I wasn’t too surprised.

“So, I guess you managed to avoid whatever’s going around?”

“Negative. As I am programmed to blend in with humans in order to facilitate the collection of data, I was affected the same as everyone else.” The monotone she spoke might seem creepy to some, but I found it oddly soothing.

“But you don’t seem to have any symptoms. Did you take something? Some medicine I mean?”

“Negative. As I am not biologically human, what you consider medicinal would have no affect on me.”

“Then how *sniff* are you keeping yourself from… whatever’s going on? Do you actually know what’s going on?”

“According to the data I’ve gathered, there is strong probability that Haruhi Suzumiya has caused all of the humans around her, including at lest everyone at the school, to develop a severe allergy to the pollen in the air this time of year.”

“*sniff* So that’s it. But y-you… hang on… HAAAASHooo! *sniff* you don’t seem affected.”

“Negative.”

“Why not?”

“I am modifying the data of the atmosphere immediately surrounding my vessel to create a small amount of breathable air that is free from irritants.”

“Heh. That’s handy. *sniff* think you could send me some?”

“Negative. Any more dramatic change to the environmental data could have devastating consequences at some point in the future.”

We’ve had this conversation once before, when I wanted her to make it rain in order to cancel a baseball tournament Haruhi got us into. At this point I was willing to chance it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to persuade her. “Do you know how Haruhi managed to cause this? Are you even sure it was her?”

“The data is insufficient for certainty. It is only the most probable explanation based on available data. As for the method by which this was accomplished, I am still collecting data.”

“Are you counting… how… ha… HAAAATchoo! How many times I’ve sneezed in that data of yours?” I was kidding of course. But with Yuki… you never know.

“You have sneezed exactly 39 times since entering the area of observation. Based on that symptom alone, your level of reaction is 0.6 standard deviations below the mean of all observed subjects.”

*sniff* Was that supposed to make me feel batter? I’d hate to see how someone above the mean was doing. From that point on we sat in silence, something you get used to if you spend any significant amount of time hanging around Yuki, until Miss Asahina arrived. She seemed nervous, like she thought she was late, but also seemed unaffected by whatever had happened to everyone else.

“Oh! Hi Kyon! Hi Yuki! Ummmm… Is Miss Suzumiya not here yet then?”

“Not yet. Say… you seemed to be coping with the situation pretty well.” My god, she was cute.

“Well… ummm… I was briefed about this event, so I was able to… eeep!” She put her hand over her mount as if she had just said something she shouldn’t have. “That’s classified! I’ll make the tea!”

As I went to the door so that she could change into her maid’s outfit, I asked her if, since this was such an important event in history, she knew how long it would last. She just smiled and said: “That’s classified.”

I guess there was no point in asking her why she couldn’t have been bothered to tell me about it ahead of time. I already knew the answer.


[Six]

Once Haruhi arrived, with Itzuki in tow, it’s hard to describe the events that followed. We basically spent several hours, split into groups, going around campus trying to “gather information” or “investigate the mystery.” If you’ve ever spent any time with Haruhi, you’d know that, once she’s in “the zone,” chaos and confusion are the order of the day as her enthusiasm overwhelms what little organizational skills and common sense that she has. Of course she was thoroughly dissatisfied with the small amount of information we were able to get. (As if running around accosting random strangers was any way to investigate something!) What we found out was that the phenomenon was apparently limited to the people in the school and, as everyone from the school went home, except for the SOS Brigade, very few people had any idea what we were talking about. Somehow this was all my fault and, in addition to the nearly perfect misery I was feeling in my nose, I had to put up with Haruhi’s constant verbal abuse as well. Of course, there was no way that Haruhi would have let me stay in the air conditioned club room and risk my doing anything useful like searching for news about what we’re investigating on the web or something sensible like that. Come to think of it, I don’t think she said “bless you” a single time that day either!

This went on until early evening. Yuki, Miss Asahina and Itzuki left for wherever they all call home and I was left walking down the big hill will Haruhi. We stopped (well… she stopped and I took the hint) and sat on a sidewalk bench. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around.

“Kyon?” She asked, in a serious tone that suggested we were about to have an actual conversation. “What do you think happened today? Whatever was going on, it was all over the school but…” She just trailed off.

“I don’t know.” I wasn’t about to give her any of Yuki’s, Itzuki’s or Miss Asahina’s theories. “Probably a really bad 24 hour bug that we all caught, being in such close proximity to one another.”

“Hmmmm. I feel kind of bad. Usually I’m the only one getting… sick this time of year. At first I was so fascinated by what was going on. It really felt like something… interesting might have happened. And I… huh… well I hate to admit it but a small part of me was kind of happy not to be the only one suffering for a change.”

She looked at me. I wasn’t aware of it, but my expression must have looked judgmental.

“What I mean is,” she continued quickly. “It was good not to feel so… *sniff* alone.”

“Hmmm. I guess I can understand that. I hope everything’s back to normal tomorrow.”

“Yeah… me too.” (That was a relief!) “I was glad that everyone else got to see what I go though… but seeing everyone like that… I just felt really… sorry for them.”

Wait a sec… ‘Everyone?’ Everyone got to go home early. And ‘everyone’ she was hanging around with all day was fine. Everyone but me anyway!

“Ha…ru…hi… hang on… haaAARSHOO!” It’s too bad Yuki wasn’t around. I was curious to know if I’d topped a hundred yet. “I’m sure people are more sympathetic towards you than you think. You’re just always so strong, and a bit hard-headed.” I didn’t exactly like the look she was giving me, but there was a bit of a concession in it. “What I mean is that you pretty much always follow your own path. You follow your heart. And you do it with such strength and enthusiasm that some people might find it a little bit… intimidating. *sniff* You’ve got friends though, you know. And people who care about you.” That sounded sappy, but at times like these (which were rare) sappy sometimes went over well with her. Would she realize that I was trying to say that I cared?

“*sniff* Thanks Kyon. And bless you. Hey, by the way… I’ve got one pill left. I’m supposed to take it in a little while but... Would… you want it instead?”

“Huh?” That was a surprise. “Do they work?”

“Not really. They don’t do much for the sneezing, just the congestion. And the headache, if you’ve got one.”

“All right. Thanks. What about you?”

“I’ll be all right. They don’t really seem to help anyway. Besides, like you said, everything will be back to normal tomorrow right?”

“After all that’s happened? I think everything is going to be fine.” I took the pill, grateful to get some relief and we walked the rest of the way home sharing a very comfortable silence.

The Angry Spirits of the Forest - Part 10 (InuYasha)

PART TEN - An InuYasha fan-fiction. Setting and all non-original characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Illustrations by (Kawaii) Kitty Kuchiki (ne Nakamura)

Shippo… No!

‘A few handkerchiefs’ ended up being several scraps of cloth discarded by the village seamstresses; but Kagome was grateful to be able to wipe her nose with something other than her shirt, and blow it more discreetly that by putting a finger on one nostril and exhaling hard out of the other. While InuYasha and Shippo insisted the handkerchiefs weren’t necessary, once they tried them, they had to admit they helped. Most of the trip was otherwise uneventful. The old man told them stories of his adventures as a young monk by firelight, saving the more lecherous episodes for Miroku, after the others had fallen asleep.

After a three day hike, the party stood atop a tree lined precipice overlooking a low clearing. Tree spirits circled the clearing and stood almost still – looking like tall trees blowing in the wind. In the center was what looked like an ancient Banyan tree. If the other tree-sprits resembled giant people, the one in the center resembled a humongous spider or octopus – his many limbs and sprawling trunks took root in dozens of places around the clearing.

“That’s the ancient one!” The Elder whispered in Kagome’s ear, but as she looked at the sprawling banyan, she didn’t need to be told. She could sense the sacred jewel, even at her current distance. She was also confident she could make the shot from here.

She drew an arrow and blew her nose one last time, just to be safe. Notching the arrow she slowly stood up. She was no longer camouflaged by the wood, but none of the tree-sprits seemed to notice. Her nose still itched, but a quick sniff was enough to ward off any sneezes for a few more seconds. She drew her bow and took aim.

“hah…”

“Shippo! Shh!” Miroku cautioned.

“HAAAH….” Shippo’s eyes narrowed as he brought a finger under his nose.

“Shippo! No!” Sango whispered.

“HAAAH-AAAAAHTCHOOOO! *sniff* Sorry!” The little fox demon rubbed his nose with his finger as he apologized.

Shippo’s sneeze drew the attention of the sprits, but Kagome was ready and loosed her arrow just as they turned around. Halfway to the target it erupted in purple light. The arrow plunged into the tangle of limbs that made up the ancient tree and found its mark deep with the writhing mass. With a flash of light, the Jewel Shard was ejected. The change in the Ancient one was immediate. What once roiled with anger now stood calmly, looking like it was at peace. They scampered down the embankment to retrieve the Jewel Shard. The trees surrounding the clearing merely looked on.

Kagome picked up the shard, but noticed something was different. She could detect no trace of the anger that had tainted the shard. It felt purified, as if it had been cleansed in a way that she thought only herself or Kikiyo could have done. She felt a rush of sadness as she realized that it was the life force of the Ancient One that had purified the Shard. As she held this piece of life force in her hands, she felt an immediate connection and a thorough understanding of the immense love and wisdom possessed by the ancient spirit. But when she turned to face him, her fears were realized - the Ancient One was dying.

“No! *sniff* No! No! No!” She ran into a jumble of limbs and branches that seemed to embrace her as she lost herself in them.

She heard a voice that was almost as quiet as the wind. “thhhaaaank yoooouuuu chiiiiild…”

Tears started to fall from her eyes “I’m so sorry! Please… *sniff* don’t die.” To her hands it felt as if the tree was actually growing cold.”

She felt something like a hand on her shoulder. She looked back, and up, and saw the tree-spirit that had helped them before. He seemed to smile at her. His voice was still deep and rumbling, but gentle now and lower in volume out of respect for the Ancient One. “This… was the only way… Do not weep child… You have done… a great thing today.”

Again the voice like the wind spoke. "shhhwshshhhhesssshhh," they assumed that was the name of the sprit who'd helped them, "yooooouuuuu… kneeeew… yooooouuuu alooooone saaawww the eeeevil in the traveler clooooaaaked in whiiiiite… yooouuuu aaare wiiiiiise… guiiiide myyyy childrennnn and… accept the stewardship of the sssssacred foressssst... that I passsss tooooo…. yoooouuuu…"

With that final decree the last bit of life left the ancient tree. Kagome broke down, sobbing openly as she felt the limbs grow stiff and brittle around her. She felt a breeze in her hair as the last bit of life escaped. While just a moment ago she felt surrounded by love and warmth, now, sitting within the dead tree, she had never felt so profoundly alone and empty. The other tree spirits bowed in final respect and began to withdraw into the forest.

InuYasha, unfamiliar with the ways of the sprits, perceived their actions as callous. “*sniff* Aren’t you even going to bury him… or something?”

The sprit that had carried Kagome turned to him to explain. “No… He must remain here…”

“*sniff* So you’re just going to let him rot?”

“Yes.” InuYasha was surprised that it was Kagome who answered. “He will go into the ground here… and… another scared tree will grow in this spot… won’t it?” She looked up at the tree-spirit.

“Yes child… Every sacred tree marks a place where an ancient spirit passed on... A tree will grow here that will house the Kodama… And they in turn will bring more life to the trees in the forest…. We will… shepherd that life until the trees’ voices grow quiet… or our own do... We must leave this place… It is sacred now… you should not return here…”

Kagome shed a final tear for the fallen spirit, but as she joined the Shard to the others she carried she felt comforted knowing that a small part of that spirit would always be with her. The journey back to the village was made faster by the tree-spirit’s offer to transport them. While this shortened a three day journey to only one, for InuYasha, Kagome and Shippo, who could not stop sneezing for even a few minutes, it may as well have been a year. By the time they were back the village elder had re-affirmed both of their commitments to the former treaty, and the spirit even forgave the village of their obligation to plant 100 saplings in payment for felling a sacred tree. (Though the Elder still planned to do that anyway.) At the outskirts of the village, the travelers said their good-byes to tree spirit and waved as it went back into the forest.


[EPILOGUE]

After getting a full night’s rest for the first time in days, the six travelers departed the next morning, fully stocked for the journey ahead. Without another jewel shard to follow northward, they trekked back the way they came. This came as a relief to InuYasha, Shippo and even Kirara, who probably could not have endured an extended trip through the forest. And while Kagome was sad that she would probably never see the tree-spirit again she had to admit, with a chuckle as she wiped here nose with a long since saturated scrap of cloth, that there was at least one part of her that couldn’t get away fast enough.

The Angry Spirits of the Forest - Part 9 (InuYasha)

PART NINE - An InuYasha fan-fiction. Setting and all non-original characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Illustrations by (Kawaii) Kitty Kuchiki (ne Nakamura)

Like what happened to you when I got captured in the first place?

Following the battle that almost was, InuYasha and Kagome argued for some time. It took a great effort to convince InuYasha that the tree-sprits were peaceful by nature, and while he never fully ceded the point, he was intrigued when Kagome mentioned the Sacred Jewel shard. The five travelers met with the Captain and the Elder back at the temple to discuss their next move.

“*sniff* We need to get close enough to the spirit known as the Ancient One. Then I… can… gotta sneeze… ha… HAAATCHoo! *sniff* Then I can use my sacred arrow to remove the shard. *sniff* after that, he should return to normal!”

“*sniff* Assuming you don’t sneeze and miss the mark.” InuYasha teased under his breath.

“Like what happened to you when I got captured in the first place?” Kagome said, feigning sweetness in her tone.

“Yeah… well…” InuYasha took the hint and went back to sheepishly studying some spot on the floor.
At this point Miroku had a question for the Elder. “Do you have anyone who can lead us into their territory? How will we find them?” The look on the Captain's face said that he didn’t know the way, and wouldn’t go within ten miles of the place if he did, having seen how many there actually were.

“Hmmmm… I’ll take you,” the Elder sighed. “I went there quite frequently in my youth. I was there with my Grandfather when he made the Treaty of the Trees with the Ancient One. It has been many years, but I know the paths well. It will be about three days march. Captain?” The Captain snapped to attention. “You’ll need to make preparations for more attacks. Keep trying to drive them back with the fire, and don’t harm any that you don’t absolutely have to. I’m leaving you in charge here.”

“Elder….?” The Captain was both moved by the trust being placed in him, and concerned for the old man’s safety. But he regained his composure and stood at attention once again. “Yes, sir!”

“You there…” The Elder signaled to one of the guards. “Prepare rations and equipment for six people on a six-day march. And get this lot anything else they require.” Although he had been little more than a spiritual counselor for many years, the old man was clearly excited about the prospect of leading a quest.

Miroku, Sango, Shippo and InuYasha all indicated that they didn’t need anything special, beyond a replenishment of food and water. They were used to traveling long distances on foot, and came into the village fairly well equipped. Only Kagome had any requests.

“I’ll need a bow and… some arrows… and… hah… AHH… HATCHoo! Man! *sniiiiiiffffff* …and a hanky or two!” She punctuated her request by wiping her nose on her sleeve for what seemed like the hundredth time.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Angry Spirits of the Forest - Part 8 (InuYasha)

PART EIGHT - An InuYasha fan-fiction. Setting and all non-original characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Illustrations by (Kawaii) Kitty Kuchiki (ne Nakamura)

SIT, BOY!

Kagome and Shippo awoke just as they cleared the edge of the forest. They were a few hundred meters from where the attackers emerged and as Shippo wiped the sleep from his eyes, Kagome sized up the situation. She could see the archers on the walls, and could smell the tar in the field. No big mystery as to what was being planned there. Seeing Miroku on the corner guard tower and InuYasha starting to charge the field, she figured out what they had in mind and knew they had no time lose.

“Quickly… get me to that guard tower!”

The lone tree sprit moved much faster than the attackers, who now numbered almost a hundred and advanced at a much slower more deliberate pace. When they were within shouting distance of the tower, she called out for Miroku.

“MIROKU! STAND DOWN! DON’T USE YOUR WIND TUNNEL! STAND DOWN!”

“Kagome?” Miroku was confused to see her and Shippo, especially as they were being carried by one of the beings they were about to attack, but he signaled his compliance. He hoped she knew what she was doing.

“ARCHERS! FIRE NOW! BEFORE THEY REACH THE TAR! QUICKLY! FIRE! FIRE!”

Seeing Miroku’s compliance with the girl that was shouting to them, the Captain conceded as well and gave the order to fire.

‘What are those idiots doing?!’ InuYasha thought to himself, not aware of what was happening back at the village. A wall of flame now stood between him and his enemy, cutting him off as the trees began to retreat into the wood.

“Oh no you don’t! TESSAIGA!” But just as InuYasha raised the sword that could kill a hundred demons in a single stroke, Kagome came into range behind him.

“SIT BOY!” And with that command, Kaede’s necklace came to life and brought InuYasha down face-first into the ground. He was now helpless to do anything but watch the tree-sprits flee into the safety of the wood.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Angry Spirits of the Forest - Part 7 (InuYasha)

PART SEVEN - An InuYasha fan-fiction. Setting and all non-original characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Illustrations by (Kawaii) Kitty Kuchiki (ne Nakamura)

I had them shaking in fear last time…

It took several hours for InuYasha, Miroku, Sango and Kirara to recover from the earlier battle but, after their respite, they joined the village guard in making preparations for the next attack. The field over which the two previous attacks had taken place was now lined with tar. Archers with flaming arrows were positioned along the northern wall. If the tree spirits tried to cross the field, they would be surrounded by the one thing they were weak against: fire.

While Sango and Kirara scouted the perimeter of the wood, InuYasha and Miroku met with the Guard Captain and the Village Elder with a strategy that would make the defensive plan even deadlier.

“Each attack was merely a hit-and-run. But the second wave was much larger than the first. I think they fled because they didn’t expect to encounter all of you,” the Village Elder counseled the warriors.

“And that’s the one flaw in these preparations,” Miroku observed, “Given the change they will flee before the fire does any damage. But we noticed something before - when I activated my Wind Tunnel: they took root and remained in place. If we waited until they were in the middle of the field to light the fires, I could activate the Wind Tunnel. They would either take root and be consumed in the flame, or try to flee and be sucked in.”

“I saw you on the field before,” started the Guard Captain. “Won’t that send flaming tar hurtling towards the village?”

“If I’m up on rampart, the tar on the ground shouldn’t be affected. And even if it is, whatever doesn’t end up getting stuck to the trees will get sucked into the void as well. I wouldn’t advocate any plan that would risk harming the village.”

“Yeah *sniff* and then I can jump in with Tessaiga and finish them off! I had them shaking in fear last time…”

But InuYasha was interrupted by the elder’s laughter. “Heh-heh… you thought they were shaking in fear? Foolish boy.” InuYasha bristled at that remark. “They weren’t raising their hands in surrender…heh-heh… they were attacking!”

“*sniff* Wha...? How…?”

“What happened when you tried to activate your demonic powers?” The Elder asked, seemingly amused.

InuYasha couldn’t even look the old man in the eye as he muttered his response. “I sneezed and the attack got all fouled up.”

“And do you think that happened by coincidence? By raising their limbs, they caught the wind in their leaves. This increased the amount of pollen released in the area, and that was what disabled your attack. You’ll need to take that into account if you plan to attack them again. *sigh* I just don’t know… I’m concerned that it has come to this… What will happen I wonder…?”

“Elder!” The Captain snapped. “We are prepared this time! With this trap and our new found allies we are sure to be victorious!” It was clear from their posture that InuYasha and Miroku concurred.

“*sniff* And then you gotta help us rescue Kagome!” InuYasha looked at the Captain, who nodded in reply.

“Hmmmm… The impetuousness of youth. I am sure that we can win the battle. It is not even impossible that we could destroy every tree spirit in the forest! But what would that accomplish?”

“We would be safe!” The Captain declared.

“Would we? And who would defend us against the demons from over the mountains without the sacred wood acting as a buffer zone? The Shinrinyahsa have been our shield against them for generations. Before the Treaty of the Trees we fought with the demons constantly. Plus… they manage and keep healthy the very timber that we make our living off of. They even maintain the river to prevent it from flooding. You take for granted all they have done for us… and are ignorant of how tenuous our livelihood will be without them. Victory on the field may be irrelevant in the long run.”

Miroku considered this in silence, but he saw no better options. InuYasha and the Captain were unmoved however and were about to launch a counter-argument when Sango burst in.

“They’re here! Ready the militia!”

TO BE CONTINUED

The Angry Spirits of the Forest - Part 6 (InuYasha)

PART SIX - An InuYasha fan-fiction. Setting and all non-original characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Illustrations by (Kawaii) Kitty Kuchiki (ne Nakamura)

That sound you make! Are you a DEMON?!

As the sun set, Kagome and Shippo were being taken towards the base of the mountain, held firmly but gently by a new captor. As he was only a single tree-spirit, the pollen was not as thick as it had been in the large group, but each ground-shaking stride shook more loose from the enormous tree. For several minutes, all that could be heard were the giant’s thunderous footsteps, followed by Kagome’s high-pitched sneezes.

*BOOM*

“Hashoo!”

*BOOM*

“Hahyaht… shoo!"

*BOOM*

“HAAAAshoo-oo!”

A soon as they were sure they’d have no hope of finding their way back, the behemoth stopped. He raised his quarry to eye level to examine them. He seemed larger than the others, and Kagome and Shippo were now uncomfortably high off the ground. Although his nose itched like mad, Shippo was too scared to sneeze. Kagome, on the other hand, was too busy sneezing to be scared.

Shippo finally broke the uncomfortable silence. “Um… m-mister shinrinyahsa? Uh… what do plan to do with us?”

“DOOOO? HMMMM…” It spoke slowly, with a gravelly voice deeper than any human’s, and more booming than any demon’s. “WELLLL…. NOTHING… IF WHAT YOU MEAN IS... WHAT DO I PLAN TO DO… TO YOU…”

“Phew. *sniff* So… your not on their side then?”

“HMMMMM… I’M NOT SURE WHOSE SIDE I AM ON… BECAUSE… I AM NOT SURE… WHO IS ON MY SIDE. BUT WE ARE PLEDGED TO KEEP THE HUMANS SAFE… SO SAFE IS WHERE I SHALL KEEP YOU.”

“Great! In that case… I… haah… HAAAAH… HAHHTCHOOO!”
With the sneeze, Shippo found himself quickly drawn close to the tree-spirit's suspicious eyes. “THAT SOUND YOU MAKE! ARE… YOU… A… DEMON?!” It eyes almost seemed to catch fire when he spoke that word.

“Please! *sniff* I am a demon but *sniff* I’m a friend of the forest! *sniff* And the humans! I used to live in a wood like this one! *sniff* and my friend here is human! Please don’t hurt me! *sniff* I just want to help!” The tiny Shippo was rightly terrified of the giant tree, holding him with an iron grip and a fiery gaze.

“HMMMMM… HA… HAAAH… HAAAAAHHHHHH!” The tree now seemed to smile a little. “YOU… ARE… A… FOX DEMON… NO? I ALWAYS LIKED FOX DEMONS… WHAT… WONDERFUL MISCHIEF THEY WOULD MAKE… I HAVEN’T SEEN A FOX DEMON IN SO LONG… I’D FORGOTTEN WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE!”

“Oh thank you! I was so frightened! But you really seem very nice!” Shippo was still held fast, but he was so high up that he was grateful for the strong support.

“BUT… WHAT OF YOU FRIEND? SHE’S… NOT LIKE ANY DEMON I’VE EVER SEEN…”

“She’s not! *sniff* She a human!” Shippo managed to free an arm, and wipes his nose on his sleeve.

“BUT… SHE MAKES THE SAME SOUND AS YOU…” He now drew Kagome closer, to examine her. Moving deeper into the leaves did not help her condition any. “ARE YOU ILL… LITTLE HUMAN?”

“No… Hah… HAAAHShoo! I’m *sniff* aller… aller… AAAH-shoo! Allergic… to… you! HAAAT-shoo!” But she got the feeling that the tree-spirit did not understand. “I’m *sniff* human but *sniff* I’m seem to be affected the same… as… the… deeAAHSHoo! demons. *sniff* Worse actually.” She rolled her eyes as she said that. “Hey… *sniff* if you guys are pledged to protect the humans, *sniff* then why’d you… ah… AAAHTChooo! …attack the village?”

“BOOO-RA-RUUUM! I HAD NO PART OF THAT! WE ARE A… PEACEFUL RACE! BUT… THAT… DEMON… CAME. WITH THAT… JEWEL!”

“*sniff* Did he…hah… hatSHOO! Did he were a cloak, *sniff* with a baboon’s head?”

The sprit’s eyes opened wide upon hearing this, and his already uncomfortably tight grip grew tighter still. “YESSS! YESSS! DO YOU… KNOW… THIS… DEMON?”

“Yes. And now I know we’re on the same side too! *sniff* We’re fighting that same demon! His name… is… NarAAACHOOO!”

“NARA-CHOO YOU SAY?”

Shippo couldn’t help but laugh. “No silly! She sneezed again! His name is NARAKU!”

The tree-spirit's eyes narrow in anger as he repeated the name. “NA… RA… KU!”

Kagome still had some questions. “But *sniff* even with the jewel… hang on… hah… HAAAHHTChoo! *sniff* why did the spirits attack? Was it over the sacred tree that was cut down?” As soon as she said it, she’d hoped that he actually knew about it! She couldn’t imagine how angry he’d be if that was enough to justify the attack. Fortunately he reacted as if he not only knew, but was ashamed at how the sprits reacted. His “trunk” almost seemed to slump (or wilt.)

“HOOOOOMMMM… YES… IT WAS A SHAME… BUT... LOSING ONE LIFE… DOES NOT MEAN… YOU TAKE ANOTHER! THE HUMAN’S SHOULD HAVE PLANTED… 100 NEW SAPLINGS TO ATONE… BUT… THEY WERE NEVER GIVEN… THE CHANCE!”

“*sniff* What happened?” Shippo looked as if he was a child hearing a bedtime story.

“THE… JEWEL… IT MADE THE ANCIENT ONE… ANGRY… IT FILLED HIM WITH… RAGE. HIS POLLEN SPREAD… AND MADE THE OTHERS… CONFUSED… AND SOON… THEY FELT AS ANGRY… AND VENGEFUL… AS THE ANCIENT ONE… BUT… THIS IS NOT OUR WAY…” The tree’s voice started to sound sad.

“But how did… oh man… hang on… hah… HAAAHTCHOO!” Kagome rubbed her nose vigorously with her index finger in an attempt to stave off more sneezing. “How did Naraku get so far into the forest? *sniff* Didn’t your pollen bother him too?”

“IF IT DID… I DO NOT KNOW… HE DIDN’T SHOW ANY SIGNS… OF DISTRESS. THAT’S WHY THE ANCIENT ONE… AGREED TO MEET WITH HIM.”

“So… *sniff* he was tricked?”

“YES… HE IS NO LONGER HIMSELF. HE NEVER WOULD HAVE APPROVED… OF ATTACKING… THE VILLAGE.” Although still more booming than any human or demon they’d come across, the tree-spirit’s voice began to grow quieter. His sadness now seemed mingled with shame. A drop of sap below one eye had the look of a tear. Shippo bent and hugged the limb that held him.

“It’s OK. You, me and Kagome will find a way to fix this.”
“Wait… *sniff* Will… *sniff* Will the other’s attack again?”

The sprint seemed to grow taller as it stood up strait once again. Its eyes took on a distant look. “THEY ARE… ALREADY ON THE MOVE…”

“*sniff* Then we… hah… HAT-choo! We must go… hah… b-back! Hat-SHOO!”

“WHY…? WE CANNOT STOP THEM… THE VILLAGERS… MUST WEATHER THIS ATTACK… AT LEAST UNTIL… WE CAN GET MORE… HELP…”

“No! *sniff* You don’t… *sniff* oh man!... ah-AH-tchoo! Understand! HATCHOO! InuYasha and the others will be ready for them this time! *sniff* InuYasha’s really strong and… HAHT-choo! His sword could destroy everyone in one strike if… he… gets… thechanceAAH-CHOO! Quickly! We’ve got to head them off at… the… vil-lage.. HAAAHtchoo! Hurry! Please!”

Although he did not fully understand, the spirit started moving quickly back toward the village. He cradled Kagome and Shippo and advised them to rest while they could as it would be about a hour’s march. Although she still sneezed with nearly every bounding step, Kagome did manage to get a little rest as they made their way back to the village.